


bury the hatchet

by CallicoKitten



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Addiction, M/M, Mental Instability, Rough Sex, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:24:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21551485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallicoKitten/pseuds/CallicoKitten
Summary: He introduces himself as Captain Hawthorne but Max knows a liar when he sees one.
Relationships: The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 74
Kudos: 256





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm making no promises on this getting finished but i'm like three chapters in so there's hope

He introduces himself as Captain Hawthorne but Max knows a liar when he sees one.

It’s not in the way he holds himself, there are no outward signs of nervousness. He doesn’t fidget with his hands or roll his shoulders, doesn’t rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. He avoids Max’s eyes but he’s done that since he entered the church so perhaps it is a permanent affectation. No. Max hears it in the way the young Captain says his own name. There’s a certain detachment to it. It sounds flat, unfamiliar in his odd, drawling manner.

He’s not from around here, that much is obvious. He’s uncomfortable in his obviously stolen armour, a few sizes too big for him. More comfortable with the sniper rifle slung across his shoulder but not by much. If Max were a betting man, he’d guess former marauder, trying to make good. If he were looking to make some real bits, he’d guess on the run from the Board but he also has the distinct impression that neither of those are the full and complete truth.

None of that matters right now, however. Right now, the Captain, wherever he may have come from, is Max’s best shot.

“A book,” he repeats, arches a brow. “This book valuable, Vicar?”

And Max curls his lip. Interested in bits is easy, Max can work with that. “Only to me.”

The Captain snorts. “That’s what they all say. Mind enlightenin’ me a little as to why?”

He pries just enough to confirm that the book is indeed of great importance to Max and that he can probably be pressed to hand over more bits, leaves Max fuming. As he swans out, Max finds himself half-hoping it’s the last time he sees the brash young Captain, that the wilds win-over and knock some of the smugness out of him but of course, the Captain prevails. He swans back to Max, book under his arm, Parvati and a handful of Adelaide’s deserters at his heels.

The lights in Edgewater burn brighter, the cannery is working at full capacity. This man has wondered into their town, their lives and made life or death decisions for a ship-drive and a handful of bits and Max is fascinated. Would probably have followed him across Halcyon even if the book had not given him a reason to.

On the Unreliable, Parvati hovers in the doorway of his cabin, almost falls over as the engines rumble to life beneath them. “Um, Vicar Max, I – uh – ” she starts, arms wrapped around herself. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing here? You know, throwing our lot in with Captain Hawthorne?”

Max looks up from his unintelligible book. He had hoped his days of offering empty words of solace in response to inane questions was behind him but the Captain saw fit to bring her along too. “Well, I think I’m doing what’s right for me. But otherwise I couldn’t say. You know him better than I do.”

“Well, he _did_ listen to me back there but he – he can be…” she trails off, eyes lowered.

“Ruthless?” Max guesses and she gives a tight nod.

On the way back to the ship they ran into a band of marauders that the Captain picked off one-by-one with his hunting rifle. Neither of them are strangers to blood and death and violence, not out here, not growing up in backwater towns like they did, but even Max has to admit there was something in the way the Captain held up a hand to halt them, dropped into a crouch and lined up his shots that was almost mechanical. Almost chilling.

_Snick. Snick. Snick._

Each one fell, a neat little hole in their back or throat or forehead, before they had any idea what was going on.

The Captain had not said a word. Just stood up and carried on walking.

“I can see why you feel that way but I think it’s worth bearing in mind that at least the Captain’s favoured method of dispatchment is quick, painless.”

Parvati nods, rubs absently at her cheek. “Yeah, I know it and I – I see it that way too, Vicar, really but I just – I dunno. Sometimes I think it’s better we give them a fighting chance, you know?”

-

On the Groundbreaker, the first Mardet they meet snorts when the Captain introduces himself. It seems Hawthorne was a regular here. The Captain scowls. Parvati, always a little too slow on the uptake for Max’s taste, looks confused, a little upset. If she had any sort of spine, she’d demand the Captain explain himself but she doesn’t, she just follows them a little slower, lower lip caught between her teeth as they pass through security.

Max keeps his voice low, “So, are you planning on illuminating us with your real name, Captain, or would you like us to simply play along with you?”

The Captain scowls at him, jerks a shoulder towards the security checkpoint. “Your terminals right through there, Vicar. Don’t let me keep you.”

He stalks off. Max doesn’t break away and he’s fairly certain the Captain wouldn’t actually want him to. As annoyed as he seems to be by both Max and Parvati, he seems to want to keep them around. He didn’t have to invite them aboard, after all. Didn’t have to tell them to come with him here. He reminds Max a little of a semi-feral canid, half-bristling, half-desperate for a pat on the head, for a warm meal. Mostly, he reminds Max of someone young, someone lost. Someone in completely over their head.

He’s ended up walking alongside Parvati who has folded into herself again. Max doesn’t ask but rather surprisingly, Parvati offers anyway. “I didn’t know his name wasn’t Alex Hawthorne,” she says stonily.

 _Then you’re even more of a moron than I first thought,_ Max thinks.

“He does seem to play his cards very close to his chest,” Max says.

-

It’s hot on the Groundbreaker. Sticky, sweltering. Parvati goes back to the ship after they speak to the Chief Engineer, says through mostly gritted teeth it’ll be better for all of them to have a nice little break from each other before they take off again. And besides, that nice sawbones the Captain saw fit to pick up might need help finding her way around.

“Good,” The Captain barks at her retreating form. He turns back to Max, his glare a challenge, a question but Max has his hands folded neatly behind his bag, has no intention of leaving the Captain unless directly ordered to. Not out of loyalty or fondness, not even out of fear that he might piss off the wrong person, end up slung in jail or shot out of an airlock. No, it is that the Captain is growing more and more interesting by the minute.

They have just gotten the Unreliable released from impound. Their conversation with Bedford was quicker than Max expected and, rather disappointingly, far less violent. But there was something interesting at the end there, when the bureaucrat was looking pissy and heartbroken and the Captain had turned to go but paused, looked back and asked, “Why’re y’all so interested in Welles, anyways?”

It could be nothing, just a throw-away line from a man Max is now certain isn’t from Halcyon but there was _something_ in it that gave Max pause. Something in his tone, slightly softer, curious but with an edge of something sour, like he was annoyed at himself for giving in and asking.

Max has not missed the way the Captain’s eyes catch on Welles’ wanted posters. At first Max had assumed it was the bounty that drew his eye but he did not say _I’m interested in the bounty._ He did not ask where Welles was last sighted, whether they have any leads. He asked why they were interested. As though he thought he might get a different reason than the several listed on the posters.

It would not be out of the realm of possibility, Max decides. Welles is a fugitive but he had the foresight to flee the Board, to cover his tracks so he must have a cause, a purpose and if he has that, he may have followers. Maybe he’s sought out other systems in search of support. It would explain the Captain’s complete lack of awareness of Halcyon rather neatly. And then there is the Captain’s mysterious benefactor, the one directing his actions, who found him the ship, sent him to Edgewater and then Groundbreaker. If it is anyone, it may as well be Welles.

The Captain is a few paces ahead of him, wandering back towards the Rest-and-Go. He keeps cutting glances back towards Max, checking he’s still following or maybe hoping he’s given up.

“You don’t have to follow me,” he calls, coming to a halt beside the vending machines. “You can go back to the ship. I’ll only be a minute.”

It’s the first time he’s spoken unprompted, Max realises. Not just to him but to Parvati, ADA. Even in the church it was left to Max to call him forwards, coax him out of the shadows.

“I’m fine, Captain. I’d like to stretch my legs as much as possible before we take off, if it’s alright with you.”

The Captain makes a face that says it’s _not_ alright with him but he doesn’t say anything further. Just turns towards the vending machines and plugs in his bit cartridge. He punches in his selection. Max tries not to be disappointed with what rolls out. Ambidextrine, focusitol, nico-pads.

He knows people imbibe, knew the Captain had _something_ in that inhaler of his, but this is just so _human._

The Captain avoids his gaze as he moves along the row. Only looks up again briefly when he’s done, when he’s swallowed down a few pills and his shoulders have relaxed a fraction. His eyes are an odd shade of brown, almost gold when they catch the light just right, there are dark circles beneath his them that suggest he doesn’t sleep well and he’s frowning at Max, or maybe he just frowns in general.

Max tilts his head, “Something wrong?” He’s aiming for kindly but either the Captain is better at reading him than Max thought or the heat is getting to him.

The Captain’s frown deepens. He doesn’t answer, just steps past Max and starts striding out towards the docks. Max bristles. Swallows his announce and takes a gamble. He has to put more effort than he’d strictly like to admit into catching up with the Captain, keeps his tone casual as he asks, “So why all the interest in Dr Welles?”

The Captain’s pace slows a fraction.

“I assume it’s not the bounty,” Max goes on. “You didn’t ask enough questions to be making a concerted effort at bringing him in.”

His gaze keeps cutting to Max, he’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“It’s perfectly alright not to tell me, of course. I know you – ”

“I don’t need help findin’ him,” The Captain interrupts. “I can bring him in anytime I want.” He speaks slowly, quietly. He’s not bragging and as far as Max can tell he’s not lying.

“But you’re not sure if you want to,” Max guesses and the Captain huffs, starts chewing on the inside of his cheek. Max watches him closely, waiting for a flicker of something, anything to pass across his face. Anger, annoyance, uncertainty but there’s nothing. The Captain’s expression is shuttered, his body language rigid and unhelpful. Max should leave well enough alone but he’s never really learned how to do that.

“You’re not sure if you should,” he says, as soon as they’ve cleared security.

The Captain slows down, scowling. He’s not looking at Max but down at the landing pad where that idiot kid that was scraping with his supervisor is waiting by their ramp. The kid raises a hand in a semi-confident greeting and Max is sure that will be a problem a little further down the line but for right now, there’s Welles. There’s the Captain. This man that fell out of nowhere, that knows nothing, that changes everything.

“Captain,” he prompts.

The Captain’s gaze flicks to Max momentarily and there’s the flash of a snarl as he says, “If’n I am considering whether or not to turn him in, it’s sure as hell no business of yours, Vicar.” He strides off and Max swallows his pride, swallows down the sting of anger, annoyance and follows the Captain back to the ship.

“I know you’re not Hawthorne,” the kid is saying. “But – uh – I don’t really know what else to call you so – um. Captain Hawthorne, I’d like to join your crew. I’ve got a – ”

The Captain keeps going straight past him. “I don’t care, kid,” he says and the kid must take that as a resounding _yes._


	2. Chapter 2

On Roseway, Max wants to keep his head down, find Gladys’ Law-damned secrets so they can be on their way to Monarch. That’s why he’s here. The Book. That’s all that matters. Unfortunately, the Captain is proving to be somewhat of a distraction.

It’s not just his way of being. His reasons for being here. Those questions, the possibilities, still crowd Max’s mind while they’re traipsing between defunct laboratories, the stench of blood and death and rapt bile hanging heavy in the air, catching at the back of their throats. Parvati stayed behind on the ship, hasn’t made eye-contact with the Captain since the Groundbreaker. With the kid, Max has had no such luck, he follows the Captain around like an eager canid pup.

Right now, they’re stood outside of the larger of the two labs, marauder blood splattered across the earth, across the doors. The Captain is looking between the two entrances, has been for at least five minutes. Even Max is being to get impatient.

“Come on, boss,” Felix is whining, rocking on the balls of his feet. “Let’s get in there already.”

“The Captain’s scared, Felix,” Dr Fenhill says. She’s standing apart from them, chain-smoking.

The Captain bares his teeth but says nothing. She’s right. They all know it. He might be a ridiculously accurate shot with that rifle of his but as soon as it comes to close quarters combat, things go downhill. He’s still not putting all his weight on his left leg after a canid got to him, has a tear in the shoulder of his armour from a marauder’s blade. At least Doctor Fenhill will earn her keep. They’ve fallen into an unspoken agreement, Max and the good Doctor, one of them sticks close to the Captain at all times.

Felix twists his mouth unhappily. “Maybe there’s another way in. Something covert.”

The Captain’s hands are starting to shake again so he raises his inhale, breathes in deeply before nodding to the hills behind the main door. “Up there,” he says and heads off, Felix at his heels.

Dr Fenhill rolls her eyes as she crushes her cigarette beneath her boot. “Remind me why I decided it was good idea to follow that moron.”

If she’s hoping for an answer, Max sure as Law doesn’t have one.

-

By the time they stumble out of Auntie Cleo’s not-so-secret laboratory the sun is starting to set, the sky shot with reds and oranges. Ellie is a good few paces ahead of the rest of them, her shoulders tense and angry. The Captain can hardly move his left leg for all the painkillers and numbing gels. It’s a long walk back to town but no one is feeling very sympathetic to him right now.

“Come on, boss, just let me help you.”

Well, almost no one.

Max curls his lip in disgust. He’s got knee troubles of his own and the Captain’s inability to handle himself in any situation beyond his own control is not helping matters.

“’m fine,” the Captain mutters, putting a hand out to hold Felix back and Max can’t hold back the harsh bark of laughter.

“Yes, yes. Of course, you’re fine. You’re always fine, aren’t you Captain? You’re fine when you miss the rapt barrelling towards you because you’re trying to get your next shot off, you’re fine when there’s a mechanical right in front of you but you can’t aim for shit or when your hands are shaking so much – ”

“If you got a problem with how I do things, Vicar, I can drop you off back at that shithole I found you in soon as we make it back to my ship,” The Captain snarls.

At the same time, Felix says, “Alright, we get it, Vic. You’re a dick. Now would you shut up for five minutes?”

“Maybe you could _all_ shut up and we’d stand a _chance_ of making it back without getting shot to hell by marauders!” Ellie calls back to them.

Max has to bite back the angry retort on the tip of his tongue, bites so hard he tastes copper. Whether he likes it or not, the Captain is still his best shot at getting to Monarch, to Chaney. If he burns this bridge, he’s back to square one. The Captain meets his gaze, says, “Oh, we’ll make it. It’s my leg that’s bum. Not my aim.”

By the time they reach the town gates, the sky is inky black, Eridanos’ rings a sweep of colour across it. They lost Ellie a while back in the darkness, she’s smart enough to have made it to town on her own but Max still finds himself casting around for her, squinting ahead of them, hoping he’ll make out her figure in the half-light. The Captain is dead on his feet, must have taken up Felix’s offer of help or got too tired to protest. It’ll be another hour or so’s walk to the ship once they cross through town.

With all of that in mind, Max accepts Crane’s offer of lodgings for the night on behalf of the group and assures him they’ll speak in the morning. Neither the Captain or Felix protest.

“Your friend arrived an hour or so before you did,” the guard leading them to their room says. “I think she’s in the bar. I’ll see a message gets to her.”

The guard is hardly out of the room before Felix is wriggling out of his armour, dumping it halfway across the floor and hurling himself onto a bunk.

“Really, Mr Milstone,” Max starts. “If you could see fit _not_ to take up the entire room with your – ”

But Felix is already snoring so Max rolls his eyes and kicks the offending armour off into a corner. From his bunk, the Captain snorts. Max ignores him, wishes he’d asked for two rooms. Law knows they’ve got them to spare judging by the bodies still piled up outside. Wouldn’t matter anyway. He’s still too angry to sleep. Only gets angrier when he feels the Captain’s gaze still on him.

“Can I help you, Captain?” Max snaps. He’s still fully armoured up, looking awkward and uncomfortable half slumped on the bunk but glare he affixes Max with has enough heat behind it to sear clear through primal hide. Well, Max can give as good as he gets. “If you’re hoping I’ll offer to help with your armour, I’m afraid you ran down my good will in the laboratory.”

Oddly enough, colour blooms across the Captain’s cheeks. “I _ain’t_ ,” he snarls and sits up with difficulty to start peeling off his armour.

Max decides the only sure-fire way of avoiding violence is to remove himself from the situation and get a fucking drink. The bar is a little more packed than it was when they first wandered through and Ellie sighs theatrically. “And here I thought I’d finally lost you boys.” But she pays for Max’s whiskey all the same.

-

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” The Captain says. He’s leant over Gladys Culkelly’s desk, face like thunder and honestly, Max is quite invested in seeing how this plays out.

Since Roseway, the Captain has been coiled tight, liable to explode at any moment. They didn’t speak much the morning of but when they got back to the ship, Parvati asked to speak to the Captain in private. They were in his quarters for a while and when Parvati finally stepped out she was slightly teary-eyed but looked a lot happier. Max has no idea what they discussed but when they docked, Parvati disembarked and hasn’t been seen since.

Whether she’s coming back is anyone’s guess. So is how the Captain feels about it.

“Well _now_ ,” Gladys exclaims, sits back with a hand to her heart in a well performed rendition of shock. “There’s certainly no call for language like that, young man.”

On the Captain’s other side, Felix reaches out, grasps his shoulder. “Boss, maybe we should – ”

The Captain shakes him off. “Cut the bullshit, lady. I did what you wanted, checked out your little distress call, rooted out your valuables. The least you can do is drop the price on the godamn navkey like you promised.”

Gladys blinks, the picture of innocence. “I did no such thing. I asked that you, a strapping, capable, good hearted young man check in on a town that could be in dire need of assistance. I told you it might be worth your while and I told you that the navkey to Stellar Bay would cost you 10,000 bits. Any link drawn between them was purely on your side of things, dearie.”

Max half wants to laugh at the calm, owlish way she blinks in the face of the Captain’s fury. What he wouldn’t give for that level of composure. The Captain looks damn near ready to put a bullet between her eyes but Felix is tugging at him again, insistent.

“Come on, boss, this isn’t worth it,” he says, gaze flicking repeatedly to Max, slightly wide-eyed and pleading. _Look around us,_ he’s saying and Max does. Eyes the guns held loosely by Gladys’ guards, knows the mardets will come running at the first sign of trouble. They would probably do well not to piss off the Groundbreaker, Law knows the Captain isn’t endearing himself to the Board and their corporations with his meddling.

Regrettably, it appears Mr Milstone is right.

Max grasps the Captain’s other shoulder; feels the way he starts at the sudden touch. He turns his glare onto Max, eyes narrowed and glinting gold. “There’s more than one way to Monarch, Captain.”

The Captain stares at him for what feels like an age. Max squares his shoulders, sures up his stance in case the Captain decides this time he’ll take a swing but he doesn’t. Just huffs, turns away, taps another few pills out into his palm and knocks them back dry.

Max tries to ignore the disappointment sour at the back of his throat. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he fights. Might be the only way he ever gets a good read on the Captain. Might be pretty satisfying to break his pretty jaw.

“Go back to the ship,” the Captain barks as they step back out onto the promenade. He’s already halfway to the Lost Hope. “I need a fuckin’ drink.”

“Hey,” Felix calls after him. “You want company?”

“Hell _no_.”

Felix jerks like he’s been hit, hangs his head a little and after a moment, trails back towards Max.

“He does that,” Max offers. “I wouldn’t take it personally.”

Felix twists his mouth, looks like he’s trying to come up with a way to argue with Max about this, to prove him wrong but he relents eventually and his face falls. “See you back on the ship, Max,” he says before traipsing off to Law-knows where.

-

Max is awoken by soft knocking at his bunk door. It’s so quiet, so gentle that for a moment he’s sure he dreamt it or else, it’s just the sound of the Unreliable knocking it’s way through the system but no, it comes again. Short, distinct. Definitely knocking.

He opens it to find Parvati worrying at her bottom-lip. “Um, Vicar Max. S-Sorry if I woke you but, uh – ” her stammering is cut off by another voice coming from someone behind her. It takes a moment for Max to place it.

“Your Captain was making a fool of himself on my station,” Captain Tennyson says. “Commandant Sanita would like someone to come and collect him from security.”

Parvati’s eyes are glued to the floor. “I’d go but, um, I don’t feel all that comfortable around drunk people and I just don’t think the Captain would listen to me, you know? He’s so – And I’m just –”

She’s babbling again, only stops when Max steps out of his cabin and she’s forced to take a step back. “I’ll collect him. Just give me a moment to get dressed.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Thank you for doing this, Vicar,” Tennyson says, as they walk. “I wouldn’t have asked but the Commandant insisted he only be released into the care of someone in his crew.”

Max nods, annoyed and half-awake. Half certain he’s dreaming this. The station around them is still noisey even if the docks are empty. The engines keeping them afloat hum, the radiators clunk. Tennyson probably notices none of this but Max hasn’t spent all that much time off-planet.

“Apparently, your Captain started three fights, caused chaos in the Backbays and was then caught harassing our Board contact, hence the mardets involvement. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for his assistance with our little heat problem, he probably would have been shot then and there.” She folds her hands behind her back as they wait to be buzzed into the security building.

Max can feel her eyes on him, imagines they must make an odd picture: their Captain, half-feral and unknowable, a loose grouping of nobodies and misfits trailing around after him without really knowing why. He wrinkles his nose. He’s beginning to sound like an aether-wave drama.

“I have to ask,” Tennyson says, as the door slides open. “Parvati, that is, Miss Holcombe only ever calls him ‘Captain.’ So do the rest of you, I’ve noticed. I’m assuming he has a first name unless they don’t have those wherever he’s from.”

“If I had an answer for you, Captain Tennyson, I’d give it,” Max says. Tennyson frowns but she doesn’t press him any further, just points the way to the Captain’s cell.

The Captain is slumped low on the bench, dried blood around his nose and lip, left eye bruising up nicely. Max remembers that. Remembers being in that position. If he’s at all surprised that Max was sent to fetch him, he doesn’t show it. Hardly even looks up. Not out of shame though. His shoulders are rounded, tight. His hands probably curled into fists in the pockets of his trousers. His jaw set.

Max folds his arms. “You’re still angry,” he observes.

The Captain laughs, “No _shit,_ Vicar.” His words are slightly thick sounding, blurry at the edges.

Max tilts his head. “Tell me then, Captain, did starting those fights make you feel better?”

The Captain turns to scowl at him and as he does Max notices a mark on his throat that definitely wasn’t the result of a bar brawl. The Captain sees him looking and smirks. “Yeah, that didn’t help none neither,” he drawls.

For reasons Max is not about to analyse too closely, he finds the whole thing unsettling. Sneers angrily, “Well, if you’re quite done making an ass of yourself, Captain Tennyson would like you to kindly vacate her ship.”

The Captain lurches up, leans against the cell door and grins, clucking his tongue. “Well, it seems I touched a nerve there, Vic.” His voice suddenly all rich, soft like velvet. “I’m almost disappointed. I thought – ”

Max hits the door release and the Captain tips forwards, hitting the ground with a heavy thud. There’s a wet crunching sound and the Captain lets out a muffled yelp. Hopefully his nose is broken.

“Get up,” Max says. When the Captain doesn’t immediately move, he leans down. “Get up.”

The Captain’s snarl is bloody. He pushes himself up slowly but stops just short of upright, blinking hard.

“If he pukes in here, one of you will be cleaning it up,” the Commandant calls.

Max rolls his eyes and drags the Captain the rest of the way up by the collar. “Vicar, wait – ” he gasps, a few shades paler.

“Do not throw up,” Max says firmly.

The Captain swallows thickly. He looks sort of dazed, fresh blood running down his face, across his lips. Raises a hand to scrub it away and sniffs, breathes in blood and chokes a little. He’s a mess. It makes Max want to break something.

“Now, let’s get back to the ship before the Commandant sees fit to ban us from the Groundbreaker.”

The Captain at least has the decency to look slightly ashamed at that.

“’M sorry,” he mutters as they step back out onto the docks. He says it so quietly it’s almost swallowed up by the sounds of the station. He’s stopped walking too. Not that he was ever really walking, more a shuffle because apparently the fact that it’s late and most people are asleep isn’t an issue for him.

“I ain’t used to all this. I don’t – ” He puts a hand up to cover his eyes.

Max waits a moment or two before his patience runs out. “Perhaps we could continue this on the ship, Captain?”

The Captain uncovers his eyes. “Sure. Sorry.” He sounds miserable, but Max is too tired to play this game. He doesn’t turn around to check if the Captain is following him but he hears his shuffling footsteps against the metal of the docks.

Back on the ship, he barks at ADA to open the Captain’s quarters and pushes him towards them. Ignores ADA saying, “You are aware, Vicar, that if the Captain begins to drunkenly choke on his own vomit I will be powerless to stop it?”

-

In the morning, it’s glaringly obvious that the Captain was not the only one who had rather a rough night. Felix is uncharacteristically quiet, Ellie more snappish than usual as she pours a generous measure of Zero Gee into her coffee. Only Parvati looks reliably awake, creeping around kitchen and hissing _sorry_ after every little noise she makes.

The Captain is the last to emerge and given the night Max knows he had he looks remarkably well rested.

“We’re going to Cascadia,” he announces. “Well. I’m going to Cascadia. If any of y’all want to bail do it now.” He doesn’t wait around for anyone’s responses, grabs a mock apple off the table and stomps back downstairs, presumably to programme in their new destination.

Ellie breaks the silence by laughing softly. “He’s such a fucking mess. We’re all going to die if we go to Cascadia.” But she doesn’t move from the table and Felix starts talking excitedly about Terror from Monarch.

It gets Max one step closer to Chaney but Ellie is likely right. Monarch is dangerous, Cascadia apparently even more so. Their Captain went to pieces over a few rapts, marauders and mechanicals, Max doesn’t even want to imagine the aftermath of an encounter with mantisaurs or – Law-forbid – a mantiqueen.

“Living is overrated anyway,” he says, standing up. “But I suppose we should all make sure our weapons are in prime working order before we land.”

As he’s passing the control room, he hears the Captain talking to someone. Someone other than ADA.

“Cascadia is utterly seething with dangerous, highly aggressive creatures more than capable of tearing you limb from limb. You’d have to be a lunatic to want to land there and I’m fairly sure I scanned your brain for incipient signs of insanity. Trust me, talk to Gladys Culkelly.”

“Yeah, I tried that, doc. It was a no go.”

The other man – Welles, Max assumes, sighs. “It’s _dangerous,_ Avi and you’re no good to me dead.”

“Look, doc, you needed me to go to Monarch and I’m going to Monarch. Now, while I’m there, I could take care of whatever you need or – ”

“Fine, fine.”

Max draws away from the door as Welles natters on. He’d be lying if he didn’t say he felt a thrill of _something_ at being right, at finding one small piece of the puzzle that is their Captain. It feels hollow though, only opens up a whole host of further questions.

He’s almost to workbench when he hears the Captain step out of the control room behind him. “You been eavesdroppin’, Vic?”

Max takes a moment to rearrange his expression into something smooth and polite before he turns around. “Certainly not, Captain. Merely unfortunately within earshot.”

The corner of the Captain’s mouth twitches. Almost a smile. He’s leant against the doorway to the loading bay, arms tight across his chest. His nose is still slightly puffy, crooked now in a way it wasn’t before. The bruises around his eyes are faded, the mark at his neck too. This time, when he notices Max looking, he doesn’t smirk but looks away, cheeks tinged pink, one hand coming up to rub at his neck uncomfortably.

 _Avi,_ Max thinks. Not the name he would have guessed. It sounds strange. Feels strange to look at him and not think _Captain._

“I take it this means you’ve decided not to turn Doctor Welles in for the time being?”

The Captain looks briefly annoyed at that so Max changes tactic.

“He’s not wrong, you know. Cascadia will be dangerous. There are other routes we could take; 10,000 bits is not impossible to raise.”

The Captain’s annoyance only grows. “Oh, cut the crap, Vic. Like you ain’t gagging to find a translation for your book. You really content to wait around while we run here and there doin’ little favours for every ne’re-do-well we come across?”

Max’s smile is mostly bared teeth. “That may be so, Captain, but a translator won’t do anyone any good if I die before I meet him.”

The Captain actually seems to consider this, ducks his head a little, rubs the back of his neck. Max wonders if it’s uncertainty or annoyance in his tight frown. Wonders how long it will take to get a real read on him. He’s getting there. Piecing things together.

“I ain’t changing course,” The Captain says, eventually.

Max wants to ask what exactly he’s hoping to find on Monarch, why he’s willing to risk life and limb but he suspects he wouldn’t actually get much of an answer. Instead he dips his head a little so that they’re at eye-level and nods to the Captain’s bruises. “I trust you’re feeling better?”

“’M fine,” he mutters and starts to draw away.

“Captain Tennyson says you’re still welcome aboard the Groundbreaker, by the way.”

The Captain pauses so Max goes on. “It was a close thing, though. I’m told the Commandant was very upset with you.”

He doesn’t turn but he does rub the back of his neck again. “Well, I don’t rightly remember much of last night.”

“Apparently you were harassing the Board rep. Bedford, was it?” Max keeps his tone level, watching the Captain’s reaction closely. Some of the tension in his shoulders dissipates and he lets out a little huffing laugh. Not a sound Max has heard from him before.

“Yeah, I remember somethin’ about that. Idiot came to find me in the bar, askin’ about Welles, about Hawthorne. Told him to leave me alone.” With that he moves off again, keeps going until Max hears the snick of his door.

-

It’s the smell that hits them first, the pervasive, burning stink of sulphur. Then the sounds. It’s twilight when they land, the last of the day’s light fading fast against the horizon but all around them, Monarch is alive. Rustling, skittering, distant roars and keening calls. A shout to their left, the distant bright flash of plasma bolts.

“Rapts below,” the Captain hisses. He’s bent over the edge of the landing platform, rifle at his side. Slowly, he readjusts his grip on it, peers down through the scope. “A lot of ‘em.”

“We can take rapts, boss,” Felix says. “We took a whole bunch of ‘em at Roseway. We’re practically rapt killing _experts._ ”

“We’d fight better if we could see a little,” Parvati says and Max is inclined to agree. So it seems is their Captain because he lowers his gun. Then raises it again to peer out further.

“I can’t see much else,” he says.

“Well, I can tell you that somewhere out there are a bunch of mantids ready to blow us to pieces, packs of feral canids, more rapts and oh, probably marauders,” Ellie says. “And it’s a long fucking walk to Stellar Bay.”

The Captain stands up, crosses back over to them. “I ain’t askin’ you to accompany me, doc.”

Ellie snorts. “Right, you’re gonna ask Felix to patch you up when something gets too close?”

The Captain bares his teeth but before he can respond Felix thumps him on the arm. “Don’t listen to her, boss. I could give you some pointers, if you want. We’d be _unstoppable,_ think about it – ”

“I’m _fine,_ kid,” The Captain cuts him off. “We’ll leave at first light.”

He stomps back up onto the ship. After a few moments, Parvati hurries after them.

Ellie folds her arms, “What’s their deal, do you think?” she wonders aloud, falling into pace beside Max as they clamber back onto the ship. “They’re not fucking, I know that much. She’s too timid uh, lacking the parts he prefers, if you catch my drift.”

Max almost asks how she knows but catches himself, folds his hands neatly behind his back.

“Are they friends?” Ellie goes on, cuts him a glance that she’s trying to keep casual but betrays that she’s as desperate as he to figure out their conundrum of a Captain. “She’s from Edgewater too, yeah?”

“As far as I know she met him the same day I did.”

Ellie shakes her head. “That doesn’t make any sense, Vicky!”

 _No_ , Max agrees. No, it doesn’t.

He peers in as they pass by the loading bay. Parvati is sat on the cot she’s set up in there, one knee drawn up to her chest. The Captain is at the workbench, fiddling with his weapon. His back is to her but Parvati’s still talking and apparently finding answers in the shrugging of his shoulders, the noncommittal grunts.

Felix lingers too, looking more and more like a kicked puppy by the second until Ellie drags him off to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the comments, this is still a new world for me and i'm not 100% sure on my max characterisation so any feedback you have is much appreciated


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little longer but mostly rambly sorry

Max can’t sleep, call it nerves or anticipation. The certainty that at some point tomorrow, he’ll meet his end and, Architect willing, it’ll be quick.

He sits quietly at his desk, stares at the Book, willing his brain to understand the words scrawled on the page. It’s a lost cause, it doesn’t work that way. He fucking knows that but the letters are the same. There are words he can guess the meaning of. It shouldn’t be so fucking difficult.

“ADA, there’s no chance your former Captain installed some sort of translation module is there?”

“Unfortunately not, Vicar,” ADA chirps. “I don’t believe that would assist me in piloting the ship.”

“No,” Max agrees. Though it would be nice if there was _one_ passably sentient being on this ship equipped to help him.

He gives up, flips the book shut and wanders out towards the kitchen to stretch his legs. He finds Parvati in there, sitting on the counter while her midnight snack microwaves. She jumps when Max enters, falls gracelessly off of the counter and barely catches herself. “Oh! Vicar! Sorry, I – I figured I was the only one still awake. Was I being too loud?” she glances at the microwave. “I should have known it would be too loud!”

Miraculously, Max manages to smile at her instead of snarl. “No bother, I was awake anyway.”

“Oh, oh, of course you were. The microwave isn’t all that loud. I’m just being – ” she breaks off, shaking her head.

“If either of you are wondering, Ellie and the Captain are also still awake,” ADA interjects.

Max sighs. Parvati pulls a face. “Y’all should be resting. You’ve got a big day tomorrow. The Captain’ll want you all at your best.” She hefts herself back on to the counter, one leg swinging.

Max tilts his head. “You won’t be joining us, then?”

“The Captain wants me to stay behind, watch the ship, bail you guys out if you need it.” She says this looking at the microwave instead of Max, her tone slightly flat.

“And I take it this wasn’t wholly your idea?”

“No, it’s fine,” she says, smiling faux-bright and hurriedly. “I don’t mind, really! I’m probably more help here than out there anyways. It’s just – ” she breaks off again, cheeks colouring.

Honestly, it’s like pulling teeth.

“Were you going to continue that thought, Ms Holcombe?”

She fidgets with a hole in her pyjamas. Her food has long since finished cooking. “I don’t know. I just – do you think the Captain is a little overprotective at times?”

Max almost chokes trying to hold back the started bark of laughter rising in his throat. _Overprotective._ “No, Parvati. I don’t think that’s anyone else’s experience of him.”

Parvati looks honestly shocked. “Really? I just – I thought – oh. I mean…” She goes back to fidgeting, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Max watches her a moment, tries to imagine how she ended up following the Captain in the first place. He gathers it had something to do with power back in Edgewater, that Reed Thompson probably sent her to make sure the Captain made the right choice but after that, who can say.

“He’s rather snappish with the rest of us, in fact,” Max says. “Standoffish, is maybe the better word."

She smiles at that, tries to hide it behind her hand.

“Did I say something funny?”

“Sorry, Vicar, it’s just… If I was asked to describe _you_ I might use some similar sounding words.”

Which is ridiculous. Max at least gives the _appearance_ of approachability.

-

It only takes them an hour or so to clear out Cascadia. It’s almost easy; the Captain and Felix up on the landing platform firing bullets and grenades while he, Ellie and Parvati pick of stragglers down below and try their best to dodge corrosive spit. Once they’re done, they pick through the wreckage, hunt down anything useful while Parvati and the Captain try and fail to get the town gates open.

It’s noon by the time they’re ready to set out. They eat before they go, sitting on the edge of the landing platform. The Captain’s food mostly goes untouched. Max watches as he counts out his focusitol pills, his little canisters of ambidextrine. They didn’t find any in the ruins or in the still functioning vending machines. What he has now will have to see them through to Stellar Bay, unless they come across a group of well-stocked marauders at any rate. 

“Can we get going already?” Ellie says, flicking away her cigarette. “I’d like to get to Stellar Bay so at some point soon after that we can leave this hellhole.”

The Captain stands up. “Let’s get goin’ then.”

Parvati hugs Felix and then the Captain. Perhaps more interestingly, the Captain lets her. Goes rigid and unmoving until she lets go. “You be careful,” she says to all of them.

Max assures they’ll be fine. Ellie reminds him of this when they encounter the group of mantids just outside the town gates. “This is all part of your Plan though, right?” Ellie hisses. “So, if we get eaten, it’s okay because it was meant to happen, or whatever?”

“Will you shut the hell up?” the Captain snaps. His eyes are darting about them, looking for a vantage point they all know isn’t there. He’s slapped on two nico-pads, dry-swallowed two pills. “We should lead ‘em back to town,” he decides. “There’s more cover there if need be and we can split up. Thin them out some.”

It’s not a terrible idea. The Captain is looking between them. When he hears no objections, he looks to Felix.

“Way ahead of you, boss,” Felix says, raising his grenade launcher.

-

The mants go down easy too. The Captain has a new corrosive mod that helps them along and electro-charged armour that means they don’t have to spend half their time watching him during the fight. After that, it’s mostly sleeping rapts to creep around as they pass through the sulphur fields. Everything is going so smoothly, what else can it be but preordained?

As night is falling, they run into trouble though.

They’re heading for a small outpost tucked away in the corner of the pits. They’re hoping it’s abandoned, hoping it will be a safe space to spend the night but while it looks free of marauders it’s guarded by the largest mantiqueen Max has ever seen.

Crouched in the scrub grass, the stench of the pools burning his nostrils, Max’s mouth goes dry. This is technically a diversion. They could press on, find somewhere else to hunker down. They don’t need to needlessly risk their lives here. No one else seems to share his concerns though.

“She’s not so big,” Felix is saying, jittery beside the Captain. “She’s got the same soft underbelly, right? We just aim for that.”

“And we let _you_ go in first,” Ellie says.

The Captain says nothing, just swallows down two more pills and raises his rifle. Max has been keeping count, almost unconsciously. He’s still got two full boxes and several canisters of ambidextrine, more than enough to get them to Stellar Bay but only if they stop taking risks like this.

“Try to take ‘er down quick and quiet,” The Captain says. “We don’t need those rapts wakin’ up and joining the party. I got a shot, I’m taking it.”

The mod on the muzzle of his rifle muffles the sound of the shot. It snicks out, cuts through the rapidly cooling air and thuds into the mantiqueen’s exposed underbelly. The creature roars. Its children scramble to her assistance; manitpillars, drones, a swarm dispatched and hurrying towards them.

“Keep your eyes up, boss!” Felix yells, charging into the fray.

Max raises his shotgun. They’ve already felled several mantiqueens today. They can handle one more. They just have to be quick about it. He follows Felix, gets a few shots off at the queen as the Captain takes out the ‘pillars and swarms.

“On your left, Max!” Ellie calls and Max turns the barrel of his gun just in time to blow a hole in the rapt charging straight for him.

“Shit!” The Captain yells. “Y’all’ve got company in coming!”

After that, it’s a fucking mess. The rapts keep coming, split their attention from the mantiqueen. Felix falls. He hears Ellie call out but Max is pinned down and he’s just taken a swarm to the face. His shots go wide, pellets arcing out. They must hit something because the queen shrieks high and terrible.

“It’s coming your way, Cap!” He hears Ellie shout.

Max scrubs at his eyes, recovers just enough vision to make out the blurry shape of the mantiqueen bearing down on a small, rocky outcrop that the Captain must have set himself up on but his head is spinning. His vision is starting to go dark. He hears two shots, three.

Everything goes quiet.

Ellie is at his side then, thumps on the back and tells him not to quit being such a baby and wash his eyes out so she can help him with Felix. By the time Max gets there, Felix is already awake, blinking woozily and insisting he had that, would have come out on top if the rapts hadn’t taken them by surprise.

The Captain reaches them. “He okay?”

“’m fine, boss,” Felix says, trying and failing to stand up.

Ellie rolls her eyes at him. “He’ll be fine. Just needs some shut-eye which, let’s be honest, wouldn’t go a miss for any of us.” Then she looks at the Captain. “You gonna let me look at your arm?”

The Captain’s jerk is painfully obvious. He turns sideways, obscures his left arm from her gaze. “I’m fine. Vic, come with me to check out those buildings.”

-

The buildings are a no go, locked down tight but at least they provide some shelter from the wind, a solid surface at their backs. They keep their lights dim as they roll out bed-rolls, eat with only the sound of Felix nattering about toss-ball and the distant bubbling of sulphur.

“I’ll take first watch,” the Captain says and Max watches as he reaches for the rifle, he left propped up beside them, watches as he flinches upon extending his arm and draws it back with a badly smothered hiss. With his other arm, he reaches for his inhaler, breathes deeply.

Ellie exhales heavily.

“You realise that concoction of chemicals you’re huffing is only masking the pain,” Max says, because he knows Ellie won’t.

The Captain scowls.

“Wait, Cap, are you hurt?” Felix asks, leaning forwards, closer to him. “You should let Dr Ellie look at it, if you are. We still got a ways to go to Stellar Bay. Wouldn’t do to have you sitting out on the action.”

“For once, I’m forced to agree with Mr Millstone,” Max says.

“I’m _fine,_ ” the Captain says, again. Spits it through gritted teeth. Felix doesn’t flinch back like the Captain wants him to, Max though is growing quickly annoyed with his childishness. By her sigh, Ellie shares his frustrations.

“No, you’re a _moron_ and if you can’t shoot straight anymore, you’re basically useless. Maybe we should leave you out here. See how _fine_ you are then.” She stands up, pulling a carton of cigarettes from her pack. “Want one, kid?” Doesn’t wait for Felix to reply before she strides off.

Felix stares after her, twists his mouth before he says, “I’ll be right back.” And scurries after her.

Max is left alone, staring at the pink-tinge spreading across the Captain’s cheeks. His head is slightly bowed so Max can’t really make out the expression on his face but he’s holding his left arm tight across his lap with his right, his shoulders tight and hunched.

By Law, he’s an idiot. Sick with pride, or something like it. So desperate not to be seen as weak that he’d rather walk them through the rest of this cesspit with only one functioning arm. Max could argue with him some more, try to convince him but he’s not going to. The Captain is an adult and somewhere in that stupid head of his he knows what a moron he’s being. 

He’ll see sense, Max is sure.

“Perhaps we should keep watch in pairs. You and Dr Fenhill can take first watch.”

The Captain’s expression is complicated when he looks up but he doesn’t argue, which is something.

-

He wakes up to Ellie driving a foot into the small of his back repeatedly.

“ _Finally,_ ” she says, when Max snaps something grumbled and unintelligible to get her to stop. “I was beginning to think age had finally caught up with you.”

“I’m not that old,” Max growls, sitting up.

It’s still dark, the sky above them awash with stars, Olympus peeking out at them over the ridge. It’s clouding over, greenish wisps against the black.

“Your turn to listen to Felix snore,” Ellie says as Max shuffles into a more comfortable position. “Unless you want me to wake him up to? Keep you company?”

“By Law, no.” He readies his shotgun, looks around to find the Captain asleep sat up against the building. His left arm is splinted neatly, resting across his rifle.

“Yeah, he conked out after I took care of his arm,” Ellie explains, settling in to her sleeping bag. “Or maybe I gave him something a little stronger than adreno and then he conked out. I don’t really recall. Just a warning, if you sit up there next to him, he will try to sleep on you and he does drool.”

“Noted,” Max says, but he shifts to sit next to the Captain anyway. It gives him the best vantage point, a view down the valley to the sulphur pits. He can see the rapts shifting around down there, silhouetted against the green-glow of the pits. This whole planet is a desolate wasteland, of course Chaney would end up here. Of course, this is where Max’s search would lead.

It’s as good a place as any to put the final nail in this coffin.

Beside him the Captain shifts. From Roseway, Max knows he has nightmares, watched mostly accidentally as he tossed and turned, murmuring incoherently. He’s quiet now, head lolling backwards, frown on his face and thank the Architect for it. Max wouldn’t enjoy having to find a quick way of quieting him down if the rapts overheard him and something about that is beginning to worry at him.


	5. Chapter 5

“Two scraps, a bunch of other folk,” The Captain says, lowering his scope.

They’re crouched uphill of a marauder encampment, weighing up the odds of survival if they rush it. It’s the faster route to Stellar Bay to cut down this way, follow the ridge around to the abandoned settlement outside the town walls but not if they’re factoring in combat, injuries, potential death.

The Captain sighs. Raises his scope again then lowers it. Chews on the inside of his cheek. He’s been taking double doses of his focusitol to make up for his shattered wrist and he’s running low. His fingers already beginning to tremble slightly. They all know his best shot at getting more before Stellar Bay is down there, with them.

In prison, Max knew many an unfortunate soul with a drug habit to maintain. He knows things can get ugly fast if they’re cut off but he also knows that none of them slept well last night, the Captain’s wrist is broken and there’s still blood in Felix’s hairline, the beginnings of a magnificent bruise spreading across his temple. They’re not exactly in the best shape for this fight.

He shifts, his knees beginning to complain from being crouched too long. “So, what’s our next move, Captain?”

He lowers his scope, jaw tight. “I’ll take out as many as I can from here. From then we move quick and we move cautious. Don’t need any more injuries today.” He slides his gaze across them as he says it. Like it’s a warning. Like they’re the liabilities here. He narrows his gaze when Ellie rolls her eyes and turns away again, raising his rifle. “On my say so.”

Despite it all, despite the sand gritting up everything and the wind and the smell and how fucking infuriating their current situation is, it’s still a damn pleasure to watch the Captain work. He puts down the two lookouts and a goon before any one in the camp realises somethings amiss. The scrap mechanical buzzes a warning and launches itself in their general direction. The Captain inhales. On the exhale he takes out their ringleader. The man thuds to earth but it gives away their position.

The Captain swears.

Max cocks his weapon and stands.

-

An hour later they’re picking through the ruins of the marauder’s outpost, an excuse to keep out of the midday sun.

“So,” Ellie says, chain-smoking as Max picks through containers on the off chance they hold something of use. “I hear you’re headed for Fallbrook. You got a Vicar buddy there, Max? Some secret OSI convention?”

Max pockets a few cartons of ammunition. “None of your business.”

He can hear Ellie’s smirk. “You know, that’s what I love about this crew. The team-spirit. The camaraderie.” She flicks the butt of her smoke in his direction. “Anyway, what I was going to say was if you _are_ going to some little OSI meeting, you should probably tell them you’re going to be late. I overheard our Captain telling Parvati they’d head back to Roseway once they got to Stellar Bay and ADA had the navkey. Apparently, she’s trying to fix up that SAM unit on the ship, needs a part from storage there.”

 _That fuck,_ Max thinks, slamming the lid of the crate he’s searching shut. In what world, in what _universe_ is a broken SAM unit more important than – He takes a breath. He’s made it this far without making too much of a fuss. Perhaps the Captain can be reasoned with.

He moves on to the next crate. Behind him, Ellie is quiet, waiting for what she’s no doubt hoping will be an explosive reaction.

“Fallbrook will still be there after Roseway,” Max says, smiling back at her. She knows by now that his patient Vicar persona is bullshit but it annoys her nonetheless. Has her sighing and stomping off and muttering about how he’s no fun.

At the bottom of the crate, under empty bottles and food cartons he finds a unopened box of focusitol. He pockets it and stands up to find the Captain.

Felix directs him towards the largest building of the outpost, the one the Captain crept into so he could take out what he could from the balcony. Max and the others were hidden up the hill, ready to charge in as soon as they were needed.

He still remembers the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach as they waited, as they watched the Captain creep towards the buildings and out of sight. The sticky, gnawing fear prickling up his spine. How every sound had seemed magnified. The crunch of the sand beneath their feet. Felix and Ellie breathing beside him. The thud of his heart in his chest. When he’d heard the snick and whoosh of a bullet he’d closed his eyes, held his breath until he heard a body crumple and the marauder’s cries of confusion.

The Captain is on the top floor. He’s shed his armour, sits at a table in a t-shirt that’s slightly too big for him and loose pants. Spread in front of him are a number of pamphlets and publications, most of them yellowing at the edges. He’s reading something on the Hope, holding it up with his uninjured arm. Though Max knows it can’t have been more that ninety minutes since his last dose, the beginnings of a tremor are evident.

Max grew up on stories of the Hope, grew like a lot of people to believe those stories were indeed just stories. A ship carrying the brightest minds from Earth, destined to reach Halcyon and save them all from themselves. A bedtime story, a platitude. Now he knows that if the Hope did indeed exist and it was meant to be lost to allow Halcyon to become what it was meant to become.

“Anything interesting?” He asks, announcing his presence.

The Captain doesn’t jump but he does suck in a sharp breath, his free hand shifting automatically towards his rifle. He twists around in his chair to glance at Max and sets the pamphlet carefully down. He shrugs one-shouldered.

Realising he’s not going to get anything further out of him, Max steps forwards, pulling the pills out of his pocket. “I found these for you.”

The Captain lets out another breath when he sees the box Max is holding. He reaches out to take it, fingers brushing against Max’s open palm as he does so. He holds the pills carefully, opens the box and slides out the blister-packed sheet. Then he looks back up at Max, “Vic, I could kiss you.”

Max swallows, hopes the Captain doesn’t read too much into the way he immediately drops his gaze, hopes the warmth spreading across his face is just the sun streaming through the window. “Happy to oblige.”

He needn’t have worried. The Captain has stopped paying attention to him, has turned back to the table to pop out a pill and snap it carefully in half. He washes it down with a bottle of Rizzo’s punch and sighs heavily. His shoulders slump slightly, he dips his head, curls his fingers in towards his palms a few times experimentally.

Max watches as he does so. Watches the careful expression he wears as he flexes his fingers. The way he winces when he moves his left arm too far. The way the light picks out the red tones in his dark hair.

No. No, he doesn’t watch that. Clears his throat. Takes a chance. “Forgive me if I’m overstepping my bounds, Captain, but I feel I have to ask.” He looks pointedly at the Captain’s hands. The Captain scowls.

“Yeah, yeah, Vic, I take too much. Tell me something I don’t know. Or are you here to stage an intervention?” When Max says nothing he sighs again, lowers his gaze. “I know I take too much,” he repeats, voice quieter this time, softer. “But it ain’t like I can afford to miss, so.”

And Max suddenly recalls the Groundbreaker, the Captain shuffling behind him, murmuring that isn’t used to all of this, covering his eyes. At the time – well, at the time, Max hadn’t really paid it a second thought, had only wanted to get back to bed but afterwards, afterwards he’d assumed the Captain meant he wasn’t used to being bailed out. To running with a crew. To doing something with an end goal.

Now he wonders whether he meant _this_. Whether the Captain’s from somewhere where murder and casual violence don’t figure highly on people’s daily schedules. Whether he’d killed anyone before he came to Halcyon, whether he’d even had to shoot at anyone. There are other colonised systems, maybe not all of them are like this. But if that’s the case, why would Welles choose him? How would Welles have even _found_ him?

Before Max can think of anything to say the moment is over. The Captain is moving, pushing himself off and reaching for his armour. “We should probably get goin’,” he murmurs as passes by Max.

He pauses at the stairs, doesn’t look back but angles his head slightly. “I really do mean it; thanks for the pills, Max.”

“My pleasure,” Max says and when the Captain has gone, when Max hears the door downstairs shut behind him, he exhales and thuds his fists down hard against the table. It’s made to look like wood but it’s cheap plastic and metal, comes away unblemished while Max’s hands tingle. He breathes out slow and deep, starts carefully folding all that rage inside of him back into a neat little box.

It’s not the Captain is evasive. Or frustrating. Or that he’ll probably get them all killed.

It’s that Max really likes the way his name sounds when the Captain says it. 

-

They reach Stellar Bay a little after nightfall. Max decides there might actually be a smell he hates more than sulphur. “The trick is to breathe through your mouth,” he tells Felix, while struggling not to gag himself.

As they wander into the city, Max decides that this thing with the Captain is going to be a Complication. A temptation meant to lead from his Law given path. Max has gone astray before, required the universe’s intervention to snap back.

It’s never been pleasant.

So, it’s better if this is where their association ends. The Captain has brought him to Monarch and if he truly is intending to head to Roseway next there’s no reason for Max to go along. Fallbrook is a journey one can make within a day. Even with the rapts and marauders, along the road, Max is fairly certain he’s more than capable of making it on his own. The Captain hasn’t been stingy with the bits they’ve earned, he’s probably got more than enough to hire a capable guide if he needs it.

It’ll be safer, all things considered.

As the Captain talks to the tarmac guard, he rehearses it in his head. _Thank you for getting me this far, Captain, but I believe this where you and I part ways._

It will only take a few minutes to clear out his cabin, to pack his meagre belongings into a case. Stellar Bay must have semi-decent lodging available. It’ll be nice to have the comfort of his own private bathroom again.

He must be staring because the Captain looks up from the docking terminal, eyes narrowed. “You need somethin’ over here, Vic?”

“Not all, Captain. I must be tired.”

The Captain’s frown doesn’t falter but he looks back to the terminal. Felix says something to Ellie that the wind snatches away, something about Max’s age no doubt, about how things wear on him more.

_I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me._

The Unreliable is there in an instance.

“I’ve got dibs on the shower!” Felix yells, starting towards the runaway.

Ellie overtakes him. “Not in this lifetime!”

The Captain follows at a slower pace.

_And I wish you luck in your future endeavours._

Parvati greets them excitedly, flaps and flusters. Waves her hands. Assures them she knew they’d be back, didn’t doubt them for a moment but, well, you know.

“I’m heading back out in a bit to meet up with a contact,” The Captain says. “Tomorrow we’re heading back to Roseway to pick something up and then stopping by Groundbreaker. Then we’ll be here for the long-haul so if you’re stayin’, plan accordingly.”

_But I can take it from here._

He almost steps forwards as the Captain starts up the stairs. Almost knocks on his closed door but he thinks maybe it’ll be easier in the morning. The Captain’s temper is unpredictable after all and if Max is unable to secure lodgings for the night –

It’ll just be easier to have a fallback plan.

-

He heads out of the ship a little later, after a shower and some dinner. He feels a little more human, his knees – and the majority of the rest of his body – still ache but it’s bearable, just means he’ll sleep well tonight. Now that he’s had a few moments to rest, he doesn’t find the smell all that affronting. It’s different, yes. Stronger than Edgewater. But the breeze has picked up, there’s rain in the air. It all feels rather fresh, alive.

He runs into Parvati as he’s entering what he supposes passes for the town centre.

“Oh, hey, Vicar! I didn’t know you were planning on heading out tonight or I’d’ve waited.” She beams at him, her cheeks faintly flushed. “We’re headed to Roseway tomorrow but I suppose the Captain told you all already. It’s so pretty there, ain’t it? I just loved it. Plus there’s a piece there we need for the cleaning bot we’re fixing up. Have you seen him? I think he’ll just fit right in!”

“Well, the ship could certainly benefit from a good clean,” Max agrees.

Parvati’s smile fades, she curls in on herself a little, folds one arm across her chest. She’s always been like that. Takes anything even slightly negative and fades away, hides herself. She wants Max to be as excited as she is. Anything less than that, means she’s wrong.

It’s really starting to fucking annoy him.

“Well, yeah, I mean – I thought – ” she’s dropped her gaze, scuffs her boot against the ground. “I’m gonna head back, I think. The Captain’s heading to a bar to find his contact and – well, I don’t rightly know about the others, so. Goodnight, I guess.”

Max smiles blandly. “Good night, Miss Holcombe.”

She forces a smile and passes him by and Max carries on into the town. He finds several options for lodging, some of them even look to be free of bed bugs and other pests and a few potential guides to Fallbrook. The Yacht Club is his last stop, recommended to him by the girl at Left Field who was far too interested in Felix’s whereabouts for Max’s liking. The Yacht Club is busy, by Max’s estimation of Stellar Bay standards, at least but it’s not so loud or so rowdy that Max has any difficulty making his way across to the bar.

As he’s signalling the barman, someone grabs his wrist.

“Hey, look, it’s Vicky! Oi! A whiskey for my Vicar, here!” Ellie grins at him, then nudges the woman slumped beside her on the bar. “Nyoka. _Nyoka,_ wake up! See? I told you we were travelling with a bona fide Vicar.”

The woman beside Ellie – Nyoka – looks up and blinks at him blearily. “Well, would you look at that,” she says and promptly lowers her head again.

“Charming,” Max says and Ellie smirks.

“ _This_ is the Captain’s contact. The woman he dragged us through Cascadia and across Monarch to meet,” she sing-songs. “She’s a hunter apparently.”

“Not just _a_ hunter,” Nyoka slurs, voice muffled by the bar. “I’m _the_ hunter. And I’m gonna – get you where you need to be – ”

Max sighs. “This just gets better and better.” The whiskey Ellie ordered for him has arrived, he downs it in one.

“Steady on there, Vic. One of us should try to stay sober and make sure we make it back to the ship in one piece and it’s not going to be me or the Captain.”

At Max’s frown, she nods to a corner of the bar. He can only just make out the Captain in the dim light, leaning against the wall and talking to a man – someone vaguely familiar, a guard or cannery worker. The man is standing very close to the Captain, has a hand resting lightly on his hip.

“I know,” Ellie says, shaking her head. “Such boring taste in men.”

Max signals for another drink to rid himself of the sour taste spreading across the back of his mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone is having a good festive season but if you're not, here's some smut to tide you over

Max is four drinks in when the edges of his vision start to blur. Ellie has gone missing; the Captain is still talking to that man. They’re standing closer now. Noses almost brushing. Every atom is screaming at him to move, to leave but he stays.

“ _Okay_ ,” a voice at Max’s elbow says. He glances over to find the Captain’s newly hired hunter leaning on the bar beside him. “This is getting kind of creepy. Are you aiming to kill that boy, Vicar, or fuck him?”

“Neither,” Max snarls.

Nyoka laughs. “So, the second one then. Phew. I was worrying I might be out of a job. And a place to sleep.”

“It’s _not_ ,” Max insists but she only laughs again. Touches him gently on the shoulder.

“Right. Keep telling yourself that, Vicar. Unresolved sexual tension is _always_ helpful in confined spaces.”

“I’m _not –_ ” Max starts but the man leans down to kiss the Captain and Max finds himself on his feet.

Behind him, Nyoka snorts.

And Max –

Max leaves.

Stomps out of the bar and into the rain. Back to the ship.

This is stupid.

This is stupid.

This is stupid, _stupid, stupid._

-

In the morning, he feels like a fool. He wakes with a headache, even more certain that this where he should leave things. This is where he should take off on his own. This is the Architect’s Plan for him.

He gets up, he packs his things.

But the Captain isn’t on the ship. He’s out on the landing pad, the bay doors are open.

“Awh, this is real sweet of you, Captain,” Parvati is saying. “I’m sure Jun – er, Miss Tennyson will be real appreciative.” She tilts her head away from the bright sunlight of Stellar Bay outside, presumably to hide the blush spreading across her cheeks. As she does so, she spots Max and smiles warmly. “Morning Vicar! We’re taking on a delivery for Groundbreaker! Aren’t they great?”

The first of the Woolly’s lumbers onto the ship, the Captain leading it.

It brings with it a sweet, grassy, dirty scent that makes Max wrinkle his nose. There’s an area already set up, stacked high with hay and alongside a trough of water. “Captain – ” Max starts but he stops quickly, realises that asking the Captain point blank whether he’s lost his mind might not go down well.

The Captain doesn’t stop, just cuts a questioning glance Max’s way.

“I – uh – ” Max starts. It comes out slightly high and strangled.

That makes him smile. Smirk, really. “Aw, what’s the matter, Vic? Not an animal person?”

The first Woolly is situated, several others have lumbered on behind it. The Captain ushers them along, murmuring something low and soothing underneath his breath. Once they’re all on, he absentmindedly smooths his hands across one’s fur as Parvati shuts the bay doors.

It’s definitely one of the strangest tableaux Max has ever seen.

“We’re all set, ADA,” Parvati calls, then she starts, glances nervously at the Captain. “I mean – ”

“’S fine. ADA lets go. Roseway first.”

 _Wait,_ Max should be saying. _Captain, I must insist –_

But one of the Woollys bellows as the engines rumble to life and the Captain moves to soothe it. “I know,” he says. “I know. But it’s only for a little while and you better get used to it, ma’am. Where you’re going, the engines don’t stop.”

“Awh, Captain, you sure we can’t keep ‘em?” Parvati asks.

“You’re all aware of my stance on the matter,” ADA says.

The Captain ignores them both, looks again to Max instead. “You need something, Vic?” he asks, like Max is an annoyance, like he’s interrupting, like _he’s_ the one diverting them from their goals.

 _You know what I need,_ Max wants to snap. _Where I **need** to go. Why. But instead we’re going back to where we came from to fix a stupid robot and run errands. _

The Captain’s brow is arched, his lips are thin.

Max forces a smile. “Not at all, Captain. Just seeing what the noise was about.”

-

It takes them almost half a cycle to get back across to Roseway. When Max complains, ADA informs him that the Captain has asked her to take it slow for the benefit of their new cargo and sarcastically adds that if he’s volunteering for clean up duty, she will gladly speed things up. When they get there, the Captain, Felix and Parvati file off the ship to retrieve the spare parts and Ellie follows after, says she’s heading to the bar in town to resupply.

Max sits at the table in the galley and tries not to stew, focuses on reading until the Captain’s new hunter emerges from her cabin. She salutes at him sleepily before preparing herself a bowl of Purpleberry Crunch and sitting a careful distance away from him.

“So,” she asks, through a mouthful of cereal. “How’d you wind up in this mess?”

Wrinkling his nose at the milk spattered across her chin, Max answers honestly. “There’s someone I need to find in Fallbrook. The Captain was kind enough to provide me with transport.”

“Fallbrook?” The hunter repeats. Thankfully by now she’s swallowed her food. “Well, I hate to break it to you, Vicar but Fallbrook is back the way we came.”

“Tell me about it,” Max mutters.

When they’re back, Parvati disappears into the robot’s closet and Felix talks loudly about how many marauders the Captain took out without any of them realising something was amiss. Max finds the Captain himself in the cargo bay, with the Woollys. Again, he looks at Max like he’s intruding, heaves out a sigh. Folds his arms.

“I’ll get you to Fallbrook, Vicar,” he says, before Max can even open his mouth. He says it dismissively, with a roll of his eyes.

Maybe it’s Max’s fault. Maybe he hasn’t adequately impressed how important this is. How central understanding the Plan is. Not just to him, to Halcyon, to the OSI. To everybody.

Maybe the Captain is just something of a brat. Maybe he _is_ sweet on Parvati, or something.

Maybe he’s just doing this to be irritating. Seeing how far he can push Max before –

“That’s what this is about, right?” The Captain snaps. “Getting a translation for your book?”

“It _is_ why I’m here, after all,” Max says. He tries to keep the bitterness from his tone but it’s difficult. The Captain is making things difficult.

The Captain sneers. “Well, shit. If that’s all you were after you shoulda jumped ship at Stellar Bay.” He steps out of the Woolly’s area, edges carefully around the hay and mess to stand in front of Max, head tilted up slightly so their gaze is level. He’s dressed in a t-shirt, there’s a new burn on his upper arm; from an energy bolt, a shock-weapon. It sits angry and stark against his skin. Almost as stark as the dark circles beneath his eyes.

“Look, I’m gonna make this real simple for you, Vic; this here’s my ship. We go where I say, when. You got a problem with that, you leave. Now, I said I’ll get you to Fallbrook and I will. But you wanna go sooner, you need to find yourself alternative transport. Got it?”

Max’s rage almost overboils. He almost puts his fist through the Captain’s face, breaks his jaw, his teeth, _everything_ but he keeps a lid on it. Curls his hands into shaking fists, smiles through gritted teeth. “ _Got it,_ Captain.”

The corner of the Captain’s mouth twitches, his gaze drops briefly. “We’ll head there after Groundbreaker.”

“Of course, Captain.” Max says.

-

Before they dock, the Captain announces that they’ll be staying on board for the night cycle, holds Max’s gaze throughout. This is some sort of test; Max assumes or maybe a punishment. Either way, Max resorts to doing deep breathing exercises in his bunk as an alternative to emptying his shotgun into the Captain’s chest.

He’s reading an OSI text when Ellie knocks on his door, leans in. “Just so you know as the only certified adult on board, Vic, the Captain looks like he might make an asshole of himself again and Commandant Sanita’s looking twitchy.”

Max clenches his jaw so hard his teeth start to ache. Of course, he fucking is. Probably plans on landing himself back in the mardet’s cells. Getting stuck there for a cycle, maybe more while they talk Tennyson into not banning them, agree reparation terms. All to keep Max from Fallbrook longer. All to punish him for pushing back.

“I’ll get him,” Max says.

-

Max reaches the promenade just in time to see the Captain being kicked out of the Last Hope. There’s a man with him. Someone faceless to Max, someone the Captain pulls against him as soon as they’re clear of the bar. Drags him by the hips, so that he’s pinning the Captain against the wall. The Captain says something low that makes the man laugh.

Max doesn’t stop to think about it. Marches across to the pair and hauls the other man off his Captain. “Sorry to interrupt but after last time, I didn’t think we could afford another fuck up,” he hisses.

“What the _fuck,_ Vicar?” The Captain snarls, shoving at his chest. He’s still weak, almost laughably so. It’s no trouble at all to ball a fist into his shirt and heft him away from the wall. “Let me _go,_ ” he growls, twisting in Max’s grips, thumping at his wrists.

“No. Sorry, Captain. But I’m doing this because it’s in everyone’s best interest.”

Behind them, the man sputters, “Hey, man! I’m sorry! I didn’t know I was stepping on anyone’s toes!”

By the time they’re through the security point, Max’s arms are starting to get tired. His grip slackens. The Captain gets loose.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doin’?” The Captain shouts. A troop of mardets are hovering nearby, some corporate troopers have stopped to watch.

“Get on the ship, Captain,” Max says quietly. He doesn’t want to do this here. Doesn’t really want to do this at all, he’s realised. There are really only two ways this’ll end and the most likely of the two results in Max stranded high and dry on Groundbreaker, trying to scrimp together enough bits to buy passage elsewhere. He’s heard the stories, read terminal entries. It could take months, years, for a ship to come in.

The Captain ignores him. “What the hell gives you the right to do that to me?” He spits. His golden eyes flash viciously. His shoulders are hunched, his hands balled into fists but Max is fairly certain the Captain won’t hit him. Not out here, at least.

“Get back on the ship.”

“No, Vicar, I ain’t gettin’ back on the ship! Why’re you so damn worried about this, huh? This sure as hell better not be about your goddamn book again because I fuckin’ swear – ”

Max closes his eyes briefly. “Captain, please get back on the fucking ship.”

He laughs then and it takes Max by surprise. He doesn’t think he’s heard the Captain laugh before and certainly not like _that_. All high and uneven. Sort of a drunken giggle. He’s still smirking when Max opens his eyes, moves closer to Max, gait unsteady.

“Y’know, Nyoka thinks you’re sweet on me,” he says. There’s a playful lilt to his words that hits Max squarely in the chest. “And at first, I thought _naw_. It ain’t like that. Max just has a damn hardon for his book, rest of us be damned! But now seein’ as you just marched out here to interrupt my fun, now I ain’t so sure.”

He topples forwards, whether by accident or by design, it doesn’t matter. Max catches him all the same. His cheeks feel warm. It’s been a while. Since well before Edgewater. It’s not an issue – not usually – but _this_ , right now – this is a lot.

The Captain is still smirking. Looks up at Max mostly through his eyelashes.

He can use this to his advantage, Max decides. Even if this is it. Even if this is all he fucking gets. He’s holding the Captain up by the arms, he leans in close. “If you want an answer, Captain, I suggest you accompany me back to the ship.”

The Captain’s smirk widens, cracks into a grin. “Very slick, Vic.”

He doesn’t protest when Max drags him back to the ship. Only lets out a small huff of disappointment when Max lets go of him after the first flight of stairs, in front of the Captain’s quarters. “Awh, come on, Vicar,” he calls as Max is retreating up to his cabin. “Shoulda known you were just teasin’.”

Max can hear voices up in the galley. Felix, Ellie, Parvati.

This isn’t something he wants them to hear.

“Shoulda known – ” He starts but Max has already turned, started down the stairs and reached him. He stops the Captain by clamping a hand over his mouth and dragging him into his quarters. “ADA,” he grunts, “The door.”

“Of course, Vicar,” ADA says, perhaps a little too eagerly.

The Captain is shaking, it takes Max a moment to realise he’s laughing. Then he laves his tongue against Max’s palm and Max jerks back. “That’s disgusting.”

The Captain shrugs, one shouldered. He leans against his desk, looks Max up and down. His gaze is intense, appraising. The same way he’d look at a marauder through the scope of his rifle. Testing for weak spots. Picking out areas to avoid. “So what’s it to be, Vic,” he says, voice low and slow. “You gonna answer my question or you gonna leave me hanging again?”

It’s like someone’s installed magnet in Max’s chest, drags him forwards even though he’d rather stay stock-still, follow the Path he’s been put on.

“This all you got, Vic? ‘Cos so far, it ain’t very impressive.”

 _What is it you want from me, Captain?_ Max wants to ask but what would the point be? He already knows and _Law_ , does Max want it too. He places his hands on the desk, either side of the Captain’s hips. The Captain is a head or so shorter than him, Max boxes him in easily. “Are you sure this is what you want, Captain?” Max asks, his mouth dry.

The Captain’s cheeks are slightly flushed now. “Wouldn’t be askin’ if I did.” He says it softly, pliantly. He’s making himself smaller, slides his hands up Max’s chest.

“Get on your knees,” Max hears himself say.

And the Captain drops, smirks, smiles. Is already mouthing at Max through the fabric of his trousers before Max has really caught up with what’s happening. He closes his eyes as the Captain frees him, swallows him down. Curls one hand through the Captain’s hair, grips the desk with the other. Concentrates on breathing slow and steady. He won’t last long like this and there’s something he wants to –

“Get up,” he says. “Turn around.”

The Captain is panting, already hard. When he turns, Max slides two fingers into his mouth, trusts the Captain will understand his meaning. He doesn’t doubt the Captain has something more suitable to ease the way tucked away somewhere in his cabin but right now Max can’t think clearly above the _need_ roaring in his ears.

The Captain splays his legs without being asked. Max’s hands are shaking from the adrenaline of it so he goes slow. Presses the first finger in, enjoys the low, breathy way the Captain exhales. His head is bowed, hair obscuring his eyes but in the reflection on the windows Max can see his lips are slightly parted. He’s breathing slow and steady, like he’s trying just as hard as Max to stay in control.

“ _Fuck,_ Vic, get on with it,” he urges and Max realises how long he’s been quiet, still. Max slides in the second finger, scissors the Captain open until he gasps, “Vic, come _on_.”

“Impatience is unattractive, Captain,” Max tuts but he withdraws his fingers, presses in. Listens to the changing pitch of the Captain’s breath as he does so, the moan he tries to stifle. With the tight heat around him, it’s almost enough for Max to come undone. He squeezes his eyes shut, concentrates on the hum of the engines before he curls a hand around the Captain’s cock and starts to thrust.

The Captain comes first, shoots across Max’s hand and the desk beneath them, his groan muffled. Max only lasts a few more thrusts before he’s done. Slumps panting against the Captain’s back.

Here, now, in the quiet of his quarters, he thinks of how slight the Captain really is, how prominent his ribs are, how all the marks on his skin are new; bruises, burns, neatly healed gashes and bullet holes. He pulls back, away. Stands in the corner of the Captain’s room and realises he has absolutely no idea how this is supposed to go now.

The Captain stands up too. He pulls up his trousers and tugs off his t-shirt, using it to clean the mess off the desk.

“I’ll have SAM take care of that while you shower, Captain,” ADA adds.

The Captain must sense Max’s uncertainty because huffs out a laugh. “This don’t have to be weird unless you make it weird, Vic.”

“Just how am _I_ making it weird?”

The Captain is still smiling, smirking. “Standin’ in a corner looking like you’re waitin’ to be dismissed?”

“I am not,” Max snaps, but it’s very obvious he is.

The Captain shakes his head, his back to Max. “You can go whenever you like,” he says and then, as Max is halfway to the door, “Just let me know if you want this to be…” he pauses, turns his head slightly towards the door. “More than a one-time thing, I guess.”

Max swallows thickly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really not happy with this chapter but it'll get us where we're going

Predictably, the Captain has a few more tasks lined up for them before they head back to Monarch. Fixing up a comms relay for Groundbreaker, chasing up an overdue delivery for their medbay on Scylla. Max supposes it’s all for the bits, running a ship isn’t exactly cheap after all but there’s a small part of him that thinks this is some sort of punishment. Maybe it’s all for Parvati. All to ingratiate them to Tennyson.

Max stays on board while the others go planet-side. It all seems to go well but something about Scylla – something about the great expanse of black; the craggy, desolate landscape; the slowly encroaching terraformer or roaming primates or maybe just abject bleakness of it all – something has the Captain unsettled.

Max knows this because the Captain is currently in his lap, hands balled in the front of his vestments. He invited himself into Max’s room, asked ADA to lock the door, shut off visual-feeds. His mouth tastes like Purpleberry Wine. Not usually something Max enjoys but, in _this_ case –

They’re on Max’s desk chair. Max’s hands are on the Captain’s hips, gripping at his ass. This is a distraction. Something he shouldn’t be allowing to continue but his hands are sliding beneath the Captain’s waistband and the Captain hisses, arches his back as Max strokes over his bare skin. Max chases those sounds, nips roughly at the Captain’s lips, grinds up, presses a finger against his entrance.

The Captain’s breath stutters. “Oh _fuck_ ,” he murmurs, his words slurred together and by the Architect, Max wants this.

The Captain slides off his lap to kneel beneath the desk, between Max’s legs. Max curls a hand through his hair. Maybe he can think of this as a _necessary_ distraction. An outlet for their mutual frustrations. A happy alternative to whatever bloody conclusion he and the Captain might have reached.

The Captain tugs down Max’s trousers. His head bent at an awkward angle beneath the table.

“Captain – ” Max starts and he pauses, breath warm on the inside of Max’s thigh.

“You know, I ain’t really in the conversing mood, Vic.”

“I was merely going to suggest we move this somewhere more comfortable.”

“Oh.” He looks up at Max, eyes darting briefly to the bed. His expression is complicated. “If you want.”

Max frowns, files it away for future consideration and says, “They’re your knees, Captain.”

They don’t move to the bed, stay on the chair instead. Max’s back will protest later but for now, the Captain lies heavily against him, face pressed to the crook of Max’s neck as his breath evens out. Max is running his hands across the Captain’s bare back, his arms, his sides. Checking for new injuries. Unfamiliar scars, burns.

By Law, this was a mistake.

Soon enough the Captain is pushing off, starting to slowly dress. He peers around Max’s cabin as he does so and Max realises he’s never been here before, spends most of his time on board shut away in his quarters. He studies Max’s books intently, then picks up Bakonu’s journal and flicks absently through the pages.

“We’re headed to Monarch after we drop the medi-bot back at Groundbreaker and pick up our earnings,” he says.

Max holds back his snort. “Of course, Captain.”

The Captain glances back at him. “What? You don’t believe me? I keep my promises, Vic.”

Max tilts his head. The Captain seems honestly offended by the notion which interesting considering Max has watched him lie himself through a _number_ of interactions. “I’m sure.”

The Captain raises a brow but doesn’t rise to Max’s bait. Instead, he picks up Max’s prayer beads and thumbs them thoughtfully. “Tell me about this guy we’re going to find again.”

Max frowns, when they first found Chaney’s location he doesn’t recall the Captain asking much at all. Still, he has to be careful. He can’t get caught in a lie here. “He’s – That is he _was_ a fellow OSI scholar of mine. It was he who first told me of the journal and for that reason I believe he will be well placed to translate it for us.”

The Captain lets the beads slide back onto the table. They clunk heavily against the metal. “You hesitated there, Vic. Somethin’ you ain’t telling me?”

“Oh it’s nothing,” Max lies smoothly. “I suppose I just didn’t have much faith in actually finding him. Was a bit of a long shot, wasn’t it?”

“It does seem awful convenient.” The Captain agrees.

“Well, when you’ve spent as many hours as I have in contemplation of the universe’s secrets, you sometimes get a sense for these things.”

The Captain still looks unconvinced so Max changes the subject. “Forgive me for saying so, Captain, but you look rather pale today. Are you not sleeping well?”

It has the intended effect. The Captain tenses up, scowls. “Don’t you fuckin’ start. I’m gettin’ enough of that shit from Ellie.” He pulls on his t-shirt and crosses to the door. He waits for a long moment before he opens it and it takes Max far longer than it should to realise he was listening, making sure no one else was out in the corridor to see.

Though there’s no reason it should, it leaves a sour taste spreading across Max’s tongue. 

-

“Okay, okay, sort of like that but more like – like this, boss. Plant your feet.”

Felix is apparently trying to tutor the Captain in close quarters combat. Mostly, it seems to be Felix manually repositioning his limbs while the Captain stands bristling and red-faced and waits for SAM to charge at him. Max and Parvati are watching from the balcony above the storage bay. Nyoka is drunk. Ellie is asleep. Max is fairly certain their absence is the only reason this strange scene is playing out before him.

“No, you’ve got to plant your feet firmer,” Felix is saying. “Look, spread your legs a little more.” He slides his hands onto the insides of the Captain’s thighs to push them apart.

Max exhales. Forces down the ridiculously possessive beast that arises in his stomach, in his chest. Parvati cuts a glance his way, worrying at her bottom lip. When the Captain’s had enough and stomps back to his quarters, she steps closer to Max, stammers, “Um. Vicar Max, could we – um – talk maybe?”

Max follows her back to her cabin, full of greenery and tools and the strong scent of oil, metal, rust. A tiny combat drone hovers above her desk. The Captain stole it from the Back Bays, apparently. That first bender on Groundbreaker. Parvati smiles at it as the door closes behind them and crooks a finger at it, calls it over so it flies in lazy loops around her head.

When she looks back at Max, her smile fades. “I – uh. I’m sorry if this is outta line, Vicar Max, but I – uh – noticed you and the Captain are getting um, close?”

It’s all Max can do not to laugh in her face. As it stands, his raised eyebrow seems to be enough for her to pick up on the fact that yes. It is indeed out of line. She drops her gaze immediately, cheeks burning. “S – Sorry, I just – ”

“Maybe you should just mind your own business, Miss Holcombe,” Max says, enjoying the way she flinches.

He turns to go but Parvati calls him back, fidgets with her hands as she says, “Um. We’re going to the Last Hope when we dock at Groundbreaker. The Captain’s taking me out for my first drink and I was – Well, I thought – or, I was hoping, you might want to come along too?”

Max pauses as he considers, can’t quite decide whether Parvati wants him along for herself or for the Captain. Whether he’s there as a safety net in case the Captain leaves her or to keep a tight hold on his leash, make sure he stays out of trouble. It’s both, probably and for the latter, Max inclines his head, “I’ll be there.”

-

The Last Hope is hardly Max’s idea of an enjoyable evening out. He was never so young nor so stupid to spend much time in such places. Floor sticky with spilt drinks, walls pressed close together, stinking of stale sweat. The rest of the crew is joining them though Ellie has made it clear that she is merely _also_ spending time at the Lost Hope. Not necessarily with them. She grabs Nyoka by the arm as they enter as well, steers her towards the bar as the Captain walks through and settles at a table near the back.

“So, um, how does this work?” Parvati asks, perching uncomfortably on her chair. “What should I, um, order?”

The Captain is lent across the table, chin propped up on one hand. “Well, if you’re really fixin’ to get wasted, whiskeys your best bet.”

“Um, whiskeys pretty strong,” Felix says, eyes flitting nervously between the Captain and Parvati. “Maybe you should work your way up to it?”

“I think whiskey is a fine choice,” Max says, waving the bar-keep over. “I might have a glass myself.”

Parvati drinks hers too quickly, pulls an unhappy face and coughs but at least she keeps it down. The Captain swallows his in one too, downs Felix’s too when he wrinkles his nose and pushes the glass across the table. Sits spinning the empty glass against the wood of the table. It makes an irritating scraping noise. Max drinks his slower, savours it. It’s good, despite everything else happening around him.

“Oh, Captain. I’m pining for Junlei somethin’ fierce,” Parvati says. “What am I doing?”

The Captain signals for another drink. “Whinin’, it sounds like.”

Parvati looks hurt. Felix looks hurt on her behalf. Even Max finds himself feeling a little sorry for her.

“I know you mean well, so I’ll try not to take that comment personal.”

“You take everything personal.” The Captain snorts. “But, nice to know I _mean well_ , I guess.” He orders another whiskey for himself and a bottle of Purpleberry Wine for the table. “Look, I got a shitty track record with relationships. Always manage to fuck it up somehow so I really ain’t the best person to be advising you on this bullshit.”

“Well, it ain’t…” Parvati starts, trailing off weakly.

Strangely, it’s Felix that comes to her rescue. Claps a hand to her shoulder and says, “Yeah. It’s not bullshit, Parvati. The boss is just in a sour mood because I kept handing his ass to him earlier.”

The Captain bristles. His grip on the glass tightens to such a degree that Max has a sudden, irrational notion that it’ll shatter, crumble into shards in the Captain’s palm, his wrist. He reaches over without really thinking, pulls the glass from his grip. The Captain starts, then glares at him.

“You know what I think?” Felix is still talking, grinning widely like they really are simply four crewmates out to enjoy each other’s company. “I think you should think real hard about what you want to say and then write it down on your hand. Always worked for me in the past.”

“While I can’t say I have much experience with Mr Millstone’s recommendations, I do think writing what you want to say down will help you get things clearer in your own mind.” Max adds.

Parvati smiles at them gratefully.

Their drinks arrive. The Captain pushes the whiskey towards Max and pours wine for the rest of them. To Parvati he says, “You’re done with whiskey. You’ll like this better.” He pushes the glass towards her gently. It’s almost like it’s an apology, a sorry for the whiskey, for his snappish comments. But when Parvati starts sipping it, starts talking about Tennyson all over again he looks just as annoyed. Just as bored. As frustrated.

Maybe he’s jealous. And it keeps coming back to that, doesn’t it? The Captain and Parvati. Whatever it is between them, whatever it is they share because it is _something,_ despite whatever Ellie thinks. Max looks over to the bar, catches Ellie’s fleeting gaze. She winks. Max has no idea why. As he looks, he spots a mardet a few stools down from her, usually on the desk – Flores, or something. He keeps trying to catch the Captain’s eye.

Max thinks about the mark on the Captain’s neck that first night. He thinks about the childish way the Captain is tapping his glass while Parvati speaks about the woman she’s falling for. A spoilt brat demanding attention. He curls a hand around the second glass of whiskey, the one the Captain ordered for him. It’s tempting. _Oh_ so tempting. But the last thing he needs right now is more alcohol clouding his judgement.

He pushes it towards the Captain instead.

The wine is almost gone. Parvati and Felix are nursing theirs. The Captain must be drinking far more than his fair share. He raises an eyebrow at Max’s offering, accepts without a word and swallows it down with the barest hint of a wince.

“Okay,” he says, slamming the glass down hard. “’m gettin’ bored of this. Look Parvati, talk to her, don’t talk to her, I really don’t give a fuck. Just don’t let it affect your work for me, alright?” He pushes away from the table, stands on unsteady legs. “See ya back on the ship.”

He heads towards the bathrooms. Felix’s hand is on Parvati’s shoulder, her eyes are welling with tears.

Max sighs as he stands, hasn’t missed the look the Captain gave to the mardet as he stood. “I’ll handle this. Mr Millstone, I trust you can see Parvati back to the ship?” He doesn’t wait for Felix’s response, intercepts the mardet just as he’s reaching the door.

“I really wouldn’t,” he says, smoothly and the mardet’s face turns a bright red as he splutters, assures Max he wasn’t about to do _anything,_ he swears. Max shoos him away, jimmies the lock so they won’t be disturbed and steps inside.

The Captain looks momentarily surprised to see him but not precisely disappointed. “I’m waitin’ for someone, Vic so if you don’t mind – ”

Max isn’t used to this. The hot anger coursing through him, the mindless rage, the way his hands twitch with want, with _desire,_ those are things he’s familiar with. Things he keeps tucked neatly away but always within reach. But this hot pit, this _possessiveness_ clawing it’s way up his spine and spreading through his veins, his limbs. This he has no idea how to manage.

Whatever else he’s going to say is knocked out of him as Max shoves him roughly against the wall. His head cracks back against it and he lets out a pained little gasp. “You’re an idiot,” Max tells him. “I might not be Miss Holcombe’s biggest fan but she is a valued member of your crew and that was unnecessarily crass.”

The Captain laughs at him. His breath heavy and cloying. Like wine. “Well, shit, Max. I almost forgot you were a bona-fide Vicar once. You jealous, Max?”

Max’s grip on him tightens. “I’m still a Vicar,” he snarls. “And I’m _not_ jealous.”

“You set such a good example for your order.”

Max slams him against the wall again and the Captain smirks. “Why don’t you punish me, then? Show me the error of my ways?”

“You’re an ass,” Max growls. He’d like to break the Captain’s face but instead he leans in close, sucks a mark into the Captain’s throat high above his collar, where everyone will see. The Captain gasps, one hand gripping Max’s hair.

“ _Yes,_ ” he says, whines. And as Max goes to pull back he grabs at him, grips the back of Max’s neck and keeps him there, keeps him close. Max closes his eyes. Tries to blot this all out and remember he’s only doing this so the Captain gets him to Fallbrook. That’s it, right? By the Law, he swears that’s it.

“Either you’re fucking me or I’ll have to chase down Sergeant Flores,” The Captain hisses, hot against the shell of Max’s ear. “Your choice, Max.”

Which Max doesn’t think is much of a choice at all.

Max makes no attempts to be gentle, there’s too much anger, too much frustration. He keeps one hand clamped over the Captain’s mouth to keep him quiet, with the other he grips the Captain’s hip tight enough to leave red marks. He slides deep into him, sucks more bruises along the Captain’s throat.

All in all, neither of them last long. The Captain hisses Max’s name, Max grunts against his shoulder. Pulls back, lets the Captain slide down the wall, panting.

In the quiet, without the Captain occupying his every sense, Max becomes aware of someone knocking angrily at the door, demanding they hurry the fuck up. The man leaves eventually and Max leans heavily against the wall opposite until his breathing has evened out and readjusts his clothes. When he looks up, the Captain is still on the floor though he’s rearranged himself into a more comfortable position. Sits gingerly, his knees pulled up to his chest, forehead resting against them.

Maybe Max was too rough with him.

He starts forward and the Captain looks up. Breathes out, leans his head back against the wall. “I’ve got a headache,” he murmurs. “And I should fuckin’ apologise to Parvati.”

At that Max stops short. The Captain grins. “Still so jealous, Vic.” He looks a fucking mess. Lips swollen, hair messy, throat covered in bruises, bite marks, clothes rumpled. Max did that to him. Max took their disaster of a Captain and made him look on the outside like he does on the inside.

The Captain stands slowly. “Don’t worry. I don’t swing that way. Now, come on. Felix showed me a back way outta this place. I know you don’t want shit from Ellie about her bein’ right and all.”

Max wants to tell him that he doesn’t give a Law-damned fuck what Doctor Fenhill thinks but instead, his mind catches on _Felix showed me_ and it must show in his face because the Captain laughs at him again. “Aw, come _on._ You gonna freak out over Felix now? Sure he’s cute but he wouldn’t – ” he breaks off, eyes Max up and down.

 _He wouldn’t fuck me so hard,_ Max thinks. _Wouldn’t leave me bruised._ Fuck. What Max wouldn’t give to hear him say those words out loud. Except no.

No.

This is all for the book. For the book. For Chaney. For answers. For closure.

The Captain is closer now, presses a hand briefly to Max’s chest. “Shoulda known you’d be a possessive fuck, Vic.” But he doesn’t sound upset, annoyed.

Max follows him out through a storage room, up a ladder and down through waste disposal. The Captain walks slow, winces. As they get out onto the docks he glances back. “Can I ask you somethin’, Vic? When we get to Fallbrook and you find whatever it is you’re lookin’ for, you plannin’ on stickin’ around?”

Max stops. It’s not something he’s really considered. _If I need to,_ he thinks. Meaning, of course, if I need you take me somewhere else. If they don’t find Chaney there, if he actually tells Max something useful before Max smashes his face in. But his hesitance seems to be the only answer the Captain needs because he smirks again, shakes his head. “Thought as much.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've debated a lot about whether or not to include this whole little incident in this fic but it won't leave me alone. that being said, it's sort of heavy and i'm pretty sure the fic will read just fine if you/future readers want to skip the next chapter and a half. 
> 
> i've put trigger warnings in the end note if you need that

Before he disembarks the next morning, Ellie corners him as he’s coming out of his cabin. She and Felix are staying behind in Monarch, Max is trying very hard to hide how _disappointed_ he is. Ellie’s arms are folded as she backs him into his room.

“The others are waiting for me,” he points out, not that it makes a difference to her.

“Uh-huh. And they’ll wait a few minutes more, Vicky. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. I’m gonna give you something,” She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a small tin. Max eyes it warily.

She rolls her eyes, shoving the tin at his chest. “It’s not going to bite you, Max! Come on! If I really wanted to kill you I’d just use my guns.”

Which is a point. Max takes the box, holds it up and peers at it. He’s about to shake it experimentally but Ellie must sense it because she huffs and reaches out to grasp his wrist. “Don’t,” she says. “They’ll break.”

With his eyes narrowed, Max pops open the box. Whatever he’s expecting it isn’t _this_ ; three needles, already filled with a clear liquid. He stares at them, looks up at Ellie slowly. “You’re giving me drugs.”

For a moment she looks affronted then she snorts. “Well, I suppose _technically._ But they’re not for you. They’re for the Captain. For when he inevitably snaps and tries to kill you, or himself.”

She’s looking at him like it’s obvious, like this is a conversation they’ve had before, like it’s all been agreed. Frankly, it’s fucking annoying. Before he can react though, Ellie rolls her eyes, scoffs.

“Must be getting slow in your old age. They’re _tranquilizers._ Should keep him down for a full eight hours and then some.” She smirks. “He won’t know what hit him.”

Max is staring at her. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

And she sighs. Deflates, slightly. Folds her arms across her chest. “Look, by my calculation, he hasn’t slept for five days which isn’t good for anyone involved. With those you can knock him out if he starts getting too weird and drag him off to sleep in some corner, or something.”

“In the middle of the Monarch wilderness?”

She shrugs evenly. “Take it up with him if you want. I’m sure done trying to convince him that sleep isn’t something we do just for fun.”

She’s walking out before Max can shove the box back towards her. He should probably go after her, defend the Captain’s honour or maybe ask for a little more information. Where to stick the needle. How much. What side-effects to look out for.

He can’t pretend he hasn’t noticed what she’s talking about. The dark circles beneath the Captain’s eyes, the frequent headaches. ADA telling him cheerfully that the Captain is still up. The Captain is still up always.

He tucks the box into his pocket.

-

The Captain and Parvati are waiting for him at the lift down to street-level. They’ve made up evidentially, stand shoulder-to-shoulder leaning over the railing, chatting in low voices. The Captain hasn’t put on his chest piece, it rests at his feet instead. Nyoka stands slightly apart from them, sitting ostensibly with her back to the pair but stealing occasional glances.

“My apologies,” Max says when he reaches them. “I needed some supplies from Dr Fenhill.”

At this, Nyoka raises an eyebrow. “You can keep up, right, Vicar?”

Parvati answers for him. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about Vicar Max, Nyoka. He’s fit as a – Well, he’s fit. Fitter than I am sometimes and – ”

“Alright, let’s get goin’,” the Captain interrupts, loudly.

They’re picking up supplies in the market before they head out. The Captain and Parvati are in the lead and Max keeps a close eye on him. There are no glaring marks on his throat, he must have healed them, or found a way to cover them up but the dark circles beneath his eyes are still there and he squints more, or maybe he’s always squinted like that. Max can’t recall. Wrinkles his nose, rubs at his temples, flinches at occasional loud voices, sudden noises. Rolls his shoulders a lot like he’s uncomfortable, like he’s trying to scratch an itch he just can’t reach.

As they walk Nyoka falls into step beside him, keeps her voice low as she says, “So I figure you’re probably my best shot at getting a straight answer, and by straight, I mean at least _halfway_ honest.”

Max frowns across at her. They haven’t really spoken much up to this point, mostly because Nyoka has spent the vast majority of her time paralytically drunk in her cabin.

“What exactly is his deal?” she finishes, nodding at the Captain up ahead.

“His _deal_?” Max echoes.

Nyoka nods like it’s obvious. Something of theme today, Max notices. “You know, his deal. What makes him tick? Why’s he doing this? Am I signing myself up for a suicide mission?”

Max twists his mouths, thinks, _oh, if only I had something to tell you_ but he doesn’t. He really fucking doesn’t. Still hasn’t got a handle on the Captain’s motivations, on why he’s content to drag them across Halcyon running errands for bits he doesn’t seem to spend. Why he’s helping Welles. What he’s helping Welles _with._ In fact, there’s very little he _does_ know about the man beside his name.

And as for that last part, the syringes in the breast pocket beneath his armour say it all.

Nyoka makes a face. “Fuck, you hesitated. I hate it when they hesitate…” She pulls a bottle of Zero Gee from somewhere and cracks it open though the sun’s barely up. “If I’m going down, I’m going down buzzed at least.”

Up ahead, Parvati is dithering over something and the Captain snaps at her to hurry up. They only have so much daylight and she’s the one spooked about camping out there in the wilderness. She doesn’t argue, hands her bit cartridge to the merchant and watches the Captain with a thin, worried expression. Her bottom lip is practically chewed to pieces.

-

In spite of everything, their journey starts out well. The Captain makes quick work of the groups of marauders clustered around road blockades, Nyoka handles the rapts that come their way. It’s rather boring, standing there, shotgun in hand watching marauders crumple without so much as a startled gasp, watching Nyoka’s machine gun tear through flesh and scales and teeth.

The Captain seems much the same as usual, snappish, defensive. He swallows his pills down thick and fast, takes frequent drags on his inhaler in between shots. “Yikes,” Nyoka comments. “Maybe you should slow up on that.”

And the Captain looks at her, snorts. “You’re one to talk.”

There is something, though. Every now and again, the Captain will be peering down his scope and he’ll lose focus, or at least _shift_ focus. Angle his gun, his bullets for some vacant patch of land beyond their supposed targets. The first few times it happens, he jerks back quickly. Blinks, leans back to rub at his eye before righting his aim.

The fourth time happens, Parvati leans in close afterwards and hisses, “Everythin’ okay, Captain?”

She gets a snarl for her trouble and Max thinks, _better you than me, my dear._

Unfortunately, Nyoka’s noticed too, takes the opportunity to drop down gracelessly beside him when they stop to eat and say, through a large mouthful, “Your boy’s looking rough, Vicar.”

“He’s not _my boy_ ,” Max snaps.

Nyoka leans back, stretches her legs out. “Uh-huh, sure. But that’s not really the main point there, Vicar. The point is, he’s looking rough, whoever’s boy he may be.”

Max sets his jaw and sits forwards, looks up to where the Captain is sitting, perched high on a rock. He’s scratching absently at his palm, food Parvati handed up to him balanced precariously on his knee.

“What’s so important in Fallbrook, anyway?” Nyoka asks. “You got pressing OSI business with Sublight?”

“Something like that.”

Nyoka huffs. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I don’t really care, anyway. But there’s a settlement about halfway. Might be a good idea to stop in if you’re not in too much of a hurry.”

Max is still looking at the Captain, watching as he picks at his food. Chews it carefully, swallows it slowly. He’s only eating because Parvati’s watching, Max knows. Dislikes eating as much as he dislikes sleeping apparently. He’s taken his chest piece off again, keeps complaining that it’s too hot though the rest of them don’t feel it.

Maybe Nyoka’s right. Afterall, he won’t be finding anyone if the Captain drops dead of exhaustion but then –

They’ve already wasted enough time. Chaney could have moved on by now, could have covered his tracks better, could have disappeared for good.

“I’m in a hurry,” he says and he stands, intending to move off, to move away from her and sit by Parvati or preferably on is own but on his rock, the Captain suddenly scrambles to pull his armour back on, ducks down, raises his rifle. “We got mants in coming,” he says.

And they’ve faced bigger, but this group has numbers on its side.

-

At some point, Max must have blacked out.

He comes too to Parvati bent over him, pressing a damp cloth to his eyes. They’re sticky and black with mantiswarm gunk and he has the sudden, vague recollection of the swarm spraying at him just as a soldier barrelled towards him.

His hand comes up to grasp at Parvati’s wrist.

“Oh!” Parvati squeals. “Vicar Max! You’re awake! Um, are you okay? You were out a while and – ” she winces as loud voices carry over them.

“Alright!” Nyoka snaps. “All I’m saying is even if there _are_ mantiswarm larvae in there it’ll still hurt a hell of a lot less than taking a bullet point blank to the chest.”

Max eases himself up.

“Vicar! Thank fuck! _Please_ tell him to put his armour back on.”

Parvati still has a hand on Max’s shoulder, her fingers gripping him tight. “He thinks there’s bugs in it,” she says voice low. “I don’t know how to calm him down.”

Max can feel the syringes in his pocket. He looks at the Captain, his eyes wide and feral, arms folded across his chest protectively. Parvati’s hand stays on his shoulder as he stands. “By Law, Captain. Don’t be such a fucking moron.”

The Captain scowls at him. “You’re ain’t listenin’ to me,” he hisses and there’s an edge to it – like he’s almost pleading. But then his head jerks suddenly to the side and he turns like someone’s called him.

“He keeps doin’ that too,” Parvati whispers. Her voice is shaking.

The Captain makes small sound of frustration before he turns back to Max. “You ain’t listenin’,” he says, again.

“There’s _nothing_ to listen too!” Nyoka snaps. “Your boy is _losing_ it, Vicar.”

And all Max can really think to say is, “He’s _not_ my boy!”

It’s odd. He doesn’t think the Captain is actually listening to him, or to Nyoka, or any of them really. He’s too lost in his own delusion, but if he is listening – if he does hear Max’s words – he flinches. Shakes his head. Growls something that is probably, “Aw, _fuck it._ ” And takes off running.

For a moment, no one does anything. Parvati is blinking, Nyoka and Max are staring at the spot the Captain used to be.

It’s madness. Absolute fucking insanity.

“I’m not getting paid enough for this,” Nyoka mutters.

She readies herself to chase after the Captain but before he does, Max grabs her arm, grabs Parvati’s wrist too. “Dr Fenhill gave me some tranquillizers before we left. In case something like this – ”

Nyoka narrows her eyes, “And you didn’t say anything? You know what, never mind. We’ll deal with this later.”

As he runs, Max finds he’s not really thinking. Just concentrating on forcing sour air into his lungs, on not choking on the sulphur, not falling into the pits. The needles clink against each other. He hopes to the Architect themselves that none of them shatter.

Up ahead, Nyoka has tackled the Captain to the ground, blown the rapt chasing them to pieces. Parvati reaches them, helps Nyoka keep the Captain down as he struggles.

“Vicar! Those needles would be really helpful right about now!”

“ _Don’t,_ ” the Captain is saying, spitting, screaming. “Don’t! You don’t know what’s in them – She could’ve – Vicar, _don’t._ ”

Max ignores him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: drug-induced psychosis, non-consensual drugging


	9. Chapter 9

They manage to drag the Captain to a small cluster of prefabs Nyoka knows of outside an abandoned town. Unsurprisingly, no one feels much like talking.

When they get there, Nyoka dumps the Captain on bed and announces she’s going out to see if there’s any alcohol in the vending machines. If there isn’t, she says, she might be gone a little longer. She looks at Max as she says this, like this whole fucking mess is his fault.

Well it isn’t. It’s not _his_ fault the Captain eats amphetamines like candy. It’s not _his_ fault he didn’t think to tell anyone he hadn’t slept in five days or more. It’s not _his_ fault the only doctor on their crew didn’t think to mention it more widely either. It’s not _his_ fault the Captain picked today to freak out. It’s not _his_ fault he picked here. It’s the Plan. It’s fate. Maybe it’s all one big fucking coincidence, but Max couldn’t have stopped this even if he wanted to.

He glares at the Captain, sprawled messily across the bed, looking for all the world at peace. Parvati is looking too, sat on the other bed, knees drawn up to her chest. Max supposes he’ll be taking the chair for the night, then.

“Looks mightly peaceful, don’t he, Vicar?” she says glumly. “You think this’ll really fix him up? Like, he’ll wake up and just – just be himself again?”

Max sighs at her. “Honestly, Miss Holcombe, I have no fucking idea.”

She bristles at that but Max turns away before she fully reacts. Starts tugging off his armour and picking around the prefab. He can feel Parvati eyes on him as he moves through the room. She won’t say anything, they both know that. She won’t say _you should have mentioned that sooner, Vicar_ or _you could at least **act** like this matters to you_ but Max half-wishes she would.

-

At some point, Nyoka must have returned because when Max wakes up, she’s snoring on the floor. Max himself nodded off in the chair. There’s a crick in his neck that he tries to massage out as he sits up.

It’s still dark outside. It takes him a few moments to figure out what woke him.

On the bed, the Captain is muttering in his sleep, tossing and turning. There’s a sheen of sweat across his features that has Max leaning forwards, has him frowning with worry until he pauses, considers it’s probably more likely to be the lack of drugs in his system than some random unknown illness.

It’s a few more minutes before he jerks awake, panting. Though the prefab is dimly lit he almost immediately clamps his eyes shut again and groans. Rolls over and presses his face into the pillow.

Max gives him a moment before he stands up, crosses over to him, arms folded.

“What the fuck was that?” he opens with.

The Captain flinches, turns his head slightly, slowly and peers up at him. “Max?” His voice is raspy, rough. He covers his face again. “Fuck. What happened?”

“What do you _mean_ what the fuck happened?” Max snaps. It’s all he can do to not drag him off the bed and really fucking let loose. “ _You_ happened, Captain. Didn’t think it pertinent to mention that you haven’t slept since we left Edgewater? Or is this some kind of fucking game to you?”

The Captain says nothing. Just groans again and tries to bury his face further in the blankets.

Max half wants to laugh. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asks, part enraged, part despairing. “Tell me honestly, Captain, do you _like_ being like this? Is it _fun_ for you? Is it _fun_ to put your crew through this?”

“Vic – ” he says, voice muffled by the mattress.

Max carries on. “To drag us across a Law-damned wasteland where the biggest liability was _you_. Is it really just the drugs, Captain?”

“Vic _–_ “

“Or were you always such a fuck up?”

“ _Max_ ,” he says and there’s something in his voice that makes Max pause. The Captain is looking up at him again, eyes wide and desperate. “Max, I’m gonna puke – ”

They make it to the toilet only just. The Captain is unsteady on his feet and heavy in his armour. There’s nothing much in his stomach but still, he retches. Against his better judgement, Max crosses to the Captain’s pack and pulls out an inhaler of ambidextrine. As he’s standing up, he meets Parvati’s gaze.

She bites her bottom lip. There’s something she wants to say but again, she doesn’t. What she does do is clamber out of bed and follow Max across to the Captain. She sits down beside him, puts a rather hesitant hand on his back as he coughs.

Max settles himself down a little further away, waits for the Captain to sit back breathing heavily, before he holds out the spray. “Do you need this?”

The Captain’s eyes barely meet his as he leans forward to take it. “Thank you,” he mumbles.

Parvati shifts slightly away from him, her shoulders slumped in disappointment. Max feels something different though. Something cold, something vindicated. Something he pushes almost immediately away.

The Captain’s gaze flicks between both of them before he uses the spray. His cheeks colour. He tilts his head away from them but he can’t hide the way his eyes flutter shut, the way the tension dissipates from his body, the sigh of relief, the way his head tilts back against the wall. His eyes stay closed a moment and Max wonders why he’s never really noticed how long his eyelashes are before. How they make him look almost delicate.

“’m sorry,” he says afterwards, voice soft. “I didn’t – I shouldn’t’ve – ”

 _Shouldn’t’ve what?_ Max wants to demand but the Captain looks at him and Max bites it back.

_I shouldn’t’ve gone but you were insistent._

Parvati shuffles back closer to him. “It’s alright, Captain. I mean, it turned out – well, _not_ fine, but… Are you – Are you okay, now? Only you were, well – ”

The Captain’s nod is slow and Parvati looks a little happier if not entirely convinced. Then she looks at Max like it’s his turn to say something, to contribute. Max’s knees are starting to ache from crouching on the floor so he shifts into a more comfortable position.

“What you did was idiotic,” he says and Parvati sighs.

“Have you really not been sleepin’, Captain?” she asks. “Because there are pills you can take, you know. And there’s – there’s no shame in it. I’ve had to take them, from time to time. What is it? Is it, you know, nightmares? Because there’s no shame in _that_ either.”

There’s a lot in the Captain’s eyes as he looks at her but Max knows he’s not going to answer, at least not honestly, so he answers for him. “It’s the pills, Parvati. He can’t sleep because of that crap he takes.”

“Oh.” She frowns at him.

The Captain draws his knees up to his chest. He looks small like that even in his bulky armour. “I can’t shoot as good without it. Or at all. I never – I never had to before.”

Parvati rubs his arm. They’re quiet for a long moment. The anger in Max’s chest has mostly smouldered out, replaced by something else. Something wide, empty. Absent. He wants the Captain to look at him. He wants to –

“Can I ask you something, Captain?” Parvati’s voice interrupts. “When you were out there, what – what exactly were you seein’?”

The Captain tilts his head down lower. “I don’t remember.”

Parvati scoffs, surprises them all by saying, “Even I know that’s bullshit, Captain.”

Max is expecting the Captain to retreat further into himself or snap something unkind back but instead, he smiles at her. It’s fleeting but it looks real. It looks warm. “It was someone I knew. I thought – she was calling to me. Like she needed help.”

 _She._ He looks at Max when he says that and Max wishes he didn’t feel something bitter and acrid spreading across his tongue. Max looks away. “Well. If it’s quite alright with the both of you, I’d rather spend the rest of the night sleeping instead of crouched here on the floor.”

Parvati yawns. “That sounds like a good idea. You need a hand, Captain?”

The Captain shakes his head but he’s still sitting against the wall by the time Parvati’s gone and Max has stood up. Max sighs, “ _Do_ you need help, Captain?”

The Captain doesn’t answer. He’s smirking. “You were jealous just now,” he says.

“What by Law are you talking about?”

“When I said _she_ ,” he grins. “Don’t worry, Vic. It weren’t like that. It was my – ” he shakes his head. “It don’t matter. It wasn’t real, anyway.”

-

Nyoka insists they stop by the nearby Philosophist settlement first thing since the vending machines were out of alcohol. While she drinks and Parvati makes odd repairs for them, Max bares his teeth and tries his best to avoid forcefully enlightening a few of the braver morons living there. That is, until the Captain drags him off into some quiet backroom.

Max can’t help if it’s different this time. It’s hard to look at the Captain now and not see his wide, feral eyes in the Wasteland, the fear in them before Max slipped a needle into his wrist. Afterwards, the Captain is slumped against him, face pressed to Max’s shoulder, one hand playing against his jaw. “’m sorry,” he says quietly. “’m sorry.”

Max doesn’t ask for what.

-

It’s late afternoon by the time they reach Fallbrook, the sun just beginning to set. Nyoka takes her leave as soon as they reach it, says she’ll see them back on the ship, hopefully not too soon. Max can hardly think straight. He’s so close. _So close._

“Captain, we should – ” he starts but the Captain holds a dismissive hand up to quiet him.

“I need to talk to Catherine first.”

Max draws in a heavy, steadying breath. He so close now, there’s no sense in ruining things.

“’sides,” the Captain goes on, shoots a small smile in Max’s direction. “We can ask her about your scholar, Vic. Might be she can point us in the right direction. Save us a few busted down doors.”

 _Oh,_ Max thinks. Swallows down the anger that had been rising in his throat.

“I don’t like the way these folks are looking at me like I’m a sandwich,” Parvati says. “Maybe I could stand a little closer to you, Captain?”

The Captain and Malin talk about a job involving a dangerous gas of some kind, something the Captain volunteers Max to help him with. Max is hardly listening, assures both the Captain and Malin he can do whatever they need but for right now there’s something else, something that has him rocking on the balls of his feet, has him vibrating with the same nervous frenetic energy he’s scolded Felix for a thousand times.

The Captain looks him, annoyance clear in his face. “Alright, alright, gimme a minute, Vic.”

“Captain, every moment we waste – ” Max starts. He’s trying to sound reasonable, calm. It’s logical they move quickly on this. Logical they either rule Fallbrook out of their search or end it here, now.

The Captain sighs. “The Vic’s lookin’ for someone. We tracked him to here. His name is – ”

“Reginald Chaney,” Max interrupts. “Uh, apologies, Captain, Ms Malin but it’s important.”

Malin’s gaze skirts over him without really seeing. Unsurprisingly, Chaney hasn’t endeared himself to her either. She gives Max his address, tells him to keep it quiet if he can and the Captain says, “Go, then. We’ll catch up.”

-

They meet him outside of Chaney’s shitty prefab which is good, because Max wouldn’t have been able to wait for them. “He’s by the river, panning for gold.” He tells them and of course he fucking is. Of course, a rat-fuck like Chaney would be so desperate for wealth but so unwilling to do a decent day’s work for it.

The Captain is characteristically quiet as they traipse to the edge of town. It’s early evening now, the sun well and truly set. Parvati is enchanted by the lanterns strung up between the rocks, less enchanted by how cool the water is even through their armour. Max doesn’t feel it. All there is is righteous fucking anger thrumming through his veins.

Chaney spots the Captain first. Looks like he’s packing up for the night and instinctively draws the gold pan he’s holding closer to his chest. He eyes the Captain nervously. “What d’you want?” Then he spots Max and starts to sweat.

“Oh, hey, Vicar Max? What uh, are you doing on Monarch? I though Scienticians ain’t welcome here.”

It’s all Max can do not to empty his shotgun into Chaney’s stupid face but It’s electric. Hits him all at once. All that rage, all that anger he locked away when they let him out, when he had to sit patiently and fold his hands neatly and smile politely and say _what troubles you? What banal, trivial nonsense can I alleviate today?_ It surges up. Overboils.

Max strides forward, thumps Chaney right in his stupid fucking chest. “Haven’t you heard? Everyone’s welcome here, it’s a fucking workers’ paradise. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Never worked a day in your miserable life. You’re just a parasite, living off my goodwill. Well guess what? My good will’s exhausted, along with my temper.”

Chaney shrinks away from him, his eyes wide with fear. Max is drawing back his fist, ready to let loose but the Captain moves smoothly into his field of vision. His expression is dark. “So, he ain’t much of a scholar. Don’t look like he ever was. Care to explain, Vic?”

Max doesn’t take his eyes off Chaney. “This is the guy who told me about the book while we were in prison. I lied about finding a scholar. But I don’t care about that anymore. I just want to inflict massive amounts of pain on the guy.”

The Captain laughs. There’s an edge to it. Bitter, snarling. “So you’re gonna give up everythin’ you’ve ever believed in to break this asshole’s face?”

“Yes. That’s about the long and short of it.”

“H-hey,” Chaney says. “Come on now, you can’t just let him – ”

“Captain, maybe we should – ” Parvati starts, her voice trembling. A glare from Max silences her but he needn’t have worried, the Captain doesn’t look like he’s about to intervene. In fact, he steps out of Max’s path, arms folded.

“Alright. So, why’d you lie to me?”

Max hardly blinks. Rich that the Captain of all people is throwing a strop because Max told one little lie. “I couldn’t risk you not bringing me here.”

“L-Looks like you have things to work out,” Chaney says. “I’ll just be – ” He goes to make a run for it but the Captain snags him by the collar, thrusts him back to his original position. To Max he says, “And you had to lie to me to do that, ‘cos?”

Max is starting to get annoyed now. He’s never tried to stop the Captain doing whatever the fuck it is he’s doing and the Captain’s never shown the slightest bit of interest in anything any of them have really wanted before this. Except Parvati, of course.

“Would you have brought me all the way out here to beat the life out of a greasy ex-con, if I had?”

The Captain shrugs. “If it was on my way.”

“Then I apologise. Now, can I proceed, Captain, or am I to take it that you disapprove of this?”

The Captain snorts. “Do whatever the fuck you want, Max.” And he finally, _finally_ steps fully out of the way.

“Wait,” Chaney begs. “Wait, please! I know who can translate the book!”

His cries fall on deaf ears. Max can hear the Captain sloshing his way back down the stream. Parvati lingers a moment before she chases after him, saying, “Captain, he’s going to kill him, I don’t think we should _leave._ ”

He smiles as Chaney cowers and for the first time in very, _very_ long time, Max feels at peace.

-

He finds Ellie waiting for him at the platform near the waterfall. Or maybe she’s not waiting for him, maybe she’s just smoking and happens to be directly in Max’s path. She blows smoke in his direction, smirks as he wrinkles his nose. “Well, look-y here. Hear those tranqs I gave you came in handy out in the wasteland.”

Chaney’s blood is still fresh on Max’s knuckles, his body crumpled and limp upstream. He feels light. Lighter than he ever has. He smiles. Sort of. “Yes. I suppose I owe you thanks, Doctor Fenhill.”

She nods at the blood across his chest, “Looks like you got your man.”

Max’s smile grows. “That I did.”

She nods again, then swings herself over the railings to splash down next to him, cigarette hanging from her mouth. “Well, fuck, Vicky. What you gonna chase now?”

Max’s smile vanishes. That chasm is still there. Rears its ugly head. Ellie grins at him. Her bullet found it’s mark, it seems. “The Captain’s pissed at you,” she says, before striding off in the direction of the landing pad. “Thought you should probably know.”


	10. Chapter 10

He feels _something_ as he steps back on to the Unreliable. Something in the hum of the engines, in the distant sound of Felix and Nyoka chatting upstairs. Reminds him when he was young, just a boy. His parents house, the scent of his mother’s cooking in the air, his father’s cheers as he listened to tossball on the aether.

He’s hoping to make a beeline for the shower but Parvati leans out of the loading bay and says, “Um, Vicar Max? Could I – I just wanted to say that I, uh, think the Captain was um, a little more upset about – about _earlier_ than he – ”

Max sighs at her. “What by Law would the Captain have to be upset about?”

A flicker of annoyance passes across her gaze. She takes a breath. Interesting, Max thinks. “I think you should probably talk to him yourself, Vicar.”

“Fine,” Max bites.

-

He showers first.

It’s almost bliss, the warm water across his skin, washing out the blood, the dirt, the scent of sulphur. He could stand there for days but, alas.

It wouldn’t do to fall out with the Captain now. Chaney is dead but in his dying breaths he promised Max a woman on Scylla could translate the book. Another fairy-tale, probably but there’s a chance. A _chance._ There’s a world where he can have both. Where he has followed his path correctly, according to Plan, without diversion, without stumbling or faltering, where the Architect has already set down everything Max needs.

But he needs a ship to get to Scylla. So, he either disembarks here and hopes some Sublight crew have need of a Vicar or he speaks to the Captain. Hopes he sees reason. Hopes he lets go of whatever petty, childish slight he imagines Max has made against him.

He dresses slowly, had never imagined clean clothes against his skin would feel so wonderful and sets his armour out for SAM to clean. Ellie and Felix are conveniently smoking against the rail outside the Captain’s room. Max gives them a sour look as he passes, as he knocks, enters before the Captain says anything in response.

The Captain is sat at his terminal though he turns the screen off when Max enters. He doesn’t turn around. “ADA I told you to lock the damn door.”

“You did, Captain, but you did not specify I keep it locked should any crew members request entry.”

The Captain’s shoulders slump as he sighs, mutters something angrily beneath his breath.

Max hesitates before he speaks. There are a number of ways he can play this out and all of them rely on keeping his temper in check. On not rising to the Captain’s bait. It should be easy. He can control himself. Bite back the anger. “I wanted to thank you for not interfering with Chaney,” he starts with, keeps his voice light. “It’s been a long time since I gave into my violent enthusiasm.”

The Captain stands, turns to face him leant back against the desk. His arms are folded, his hair damp against his forehead, not from sweat this time, from the shower. It’s getting long, falling into his eyes. “Cut the crap, Vic,” he says, quietly. “You lied to me about Chaney and I wanna know why.”

And Max realises he’s serious. There’s no trace of levity in his gaze. It’s ridiculous. So ridiculous Max has to bite back a smile. The man standing in front of him has built himself from lie, weaved them about himself to create Captain Hawthorne of the Unreliable. He has lied since the moment Max met him, since the first time they spoke and here he is, furious at Max for one small omission.

Max presses his tongue against his teeth. He has to tread carefully here, keep the annoyance rising quickly in his throat tamped down. “I told you, Captain. I didn’t think you’d help me if you knew the truth. I was wrong and I apologise, I shouldn’t have – ”

But the Captain scoffs. A small noise that hits Max squarely in the chest, halts his words as the annoyance boils over into anger. At his sides, his hands curl into fists. Maybe breaking the Captain’s jaw is part of the Plan. All of his other instincts have borne fruit thus far, why deny this one? But no. No, he can contain himself, pushes his words through his teeth, “Something you want to say, Captain?”

The Captain looks at him, shakes his head. “Sounds like bullshit.”

“Well, I supposed you’d know it to hear it, Captain _Hawthorne_.” The words are out of his mouth before he’s really thought them through but the Captain’s furious expression makes him smile.

“You got something to say, Vic, _say it._ ”

“I think I’ve made myself perfectly clear, Captain.” He takes a step closer to him, the Captain draws back a little against the desk almost instinctively. His arms are still folded.

“I don’t lie,” the Captain says and this time, Max can’t hold back his laughter. The Captain’s eyes narrow. He looks away, his cheeks flush. His arms tighten across his chest.

“Yes, very good, Captain. That’s why you go around giving a false name?”

“You know my name. Not my problem you choose not to use it.”

“Yes, and that’s hardly something you chose to come _clean_ about.”

“You wanna know something, Vic, _ask_.” He meets Max’s gaze. “I got nothin’ to hide.” And there’s something in the quiet, firm way he says it that makes Max sneer, makes Max want to take him by the back of the neck and make him face everyone of the lies his told. Everyone of the ways he hides himself.

“You know what, I might just take you up on that, Captain.”

A flicker of something – not quite fear but close – passes across the Captain’s eyes. His jaw twitches. He swallows. “Fine,” he says and he sounds deflated but it’s not enough. Not enough for his unjust rage, for everything he put them through out in the wastelands, for everything before that.

“Not here though,” Max says and he moves quickly, grasps the Captain by the shoulder and pulls him forwards. The Captain stumbles in his shock, stiffens under Max’s hand but he doesn’t fight as Max steers him towards the door.

“I think we should allow the rest of the crew the opportunity to be a part of this, don’t you?” He pauses before opening the door. He’s not a monster, after all. He’ll give the Captain a fair opportunity to tap out. “That is, if you really don’t have anything to hide.”

His eyes are wide, his breath is coming heavily. He doesn’t want to do this, Max knows that, can see it plain as day on his face but because he’s proud or maybe just stupid, because Max is challenging him, he will. He’ll allow himself to be marched out to the rest of the crew, allow Max to lay him bare before them just so he doesn’t look weak. Doesn’t look wrong. He’s a moron. A fucking stupid, beautiful mess and Max is tempted to let him go. Let him stumble to the floor. Let this scene end differently but the lure of all those unasked questions he has, all the things he wants to know about this idiot is too great to ignore.

The Captain expressions shifts quickly. The surprise, the fear, replaced by something cold and hard. “I don’t.” he says and Max nods once.

“ADA, could you ask the crew to join us in the galley, please?”

-

He sits the Captain at the head of the table, finds himself compelled to stay standing, one hand on the Captain’s shoulder to hold him in place though Max knows he won’t try to run.

Parvati joins them first, sits to the Captain’s left and puts a hand on the table close to where the Captain has his folded neatly. She touches his wrist gently, finger tips just brushing the skin and steals a glance at Max. “Everything alright, Captain?”

The Captain nods. His jaw is clenched tight. His teeth must be in agony.

Felix joins them next, does much the same as Parvati but with none of the subtlety. Ellie snorts, says, _this should be good_ and Nyoka rolls her eyes, mutters something about being paid extra for whatever this shit is.

“The Captain has something he wishes to confess,” Max starts. “A great many things, actually. Chief among them, is that his name is not, in fact, Alex Hawthorne. To alleviate this burden, I thought to call this little meeting and encourage you all to ask any questions you have rather than forcing him to write a lengthy speech for us.” He squeezes the Captain’s shoulder, lets his expression soften a tad. “As I’m sure you’re all aware, our Captain is not one for words.”

Everyone around the table is silent, staring at Max with varying degrees annoyance. Parvati leans forwards, puts her hand on the Captain’s wrist. “You don’t gotta do this you know, Captain. None of us will be annoyed…”

The Captain moves his wrist out of her grasp. “It’s fine.”

Eventually, Ellie sighs. “Alright, I’ll bite,” she sounds slightly resigned, like she’s annoyed at herself for playing into Max’s game. Or maybe that she wasn’t the one to come up with this idea, to crack the case of the Captain. “You’re not from Halcyon. That much is obvious. So, come on then. Where exactly are you from?”

The Captain takes a breath before he answers, keeps his gaze down. “Earth,” he says, after a beat or two. “I’m from Earth.”

Max withdraws his hand.

_Earth._

It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible.

Ellie laughs. Nyoka snorts. Even Felix sits back, says, “You’re just messing around, right boss? I mean Earth’s like – Nothing’s come from there for like, years, right?”

The Captain says nothing, his head still tipped downwards.

“Actually,” ADA chimes in. “Chemical analysis of the Captain’s skin and hair as well as physiological reactions to certain verbal and external stimuli would suggest he is indeed from Earth.”

“Well fuck me,” Ellie says.

Felix sits forwards. “No way. You’re really from Earth, boss? You really _left_ Earth to come _here_?”

Even Parvati joins in. “Why _would_ you leave to come here, Captain? Doesn’t seem to be all that smart of a choice.”

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t exactly my idea.” The Captain mutters. Max wants to ask more but the Captain’s palms are pressed flat and firm on the tabletop, his back rigid. Max has already pushed him far enough for now.

“Forget why you came here,” Nyoka says. “ _How’d_ you get here? Earth’s been dark for years.”

Oddly, the Captain looks up at Max before he answers, tilts his head back before twisting back round, heaving out a sigh. “You won’t believe me.”

“Try us,” Ellie says.

He’s quiet for a long moment and then he says, “I came here on the Hope.”

And at first Max wants to laugh. _The Hope is a children’s story_ , he wants to say. It’s been missing for seventy years. But if he thinks back, maybe it makes sense. The Captain didn’t just not know Halcyon. He didn’t know a lot of things. Asked about the Hope, read all he could about it.

“Okay, I’m officially calling bullshit,” Ellie says.

“No,” Nyoka says. “No, it makes sense. Welles is obsessed with the Hope. Hiram was even convinced he found it; said he was trying to revive the colonists. That’s why you’re working for him, right? You got people on the Hope?”

The Captain pushes his chair back. Stands and turns to face Max, eyes hard and angry. “Can I go now?” He’s glaring at Max like he’s some tyrannical teacher, some strict parent scolding a child. It sets Max’s teeth on edge.

“Well, that depends on whether your crew have any further questions, I suppose, Captain.”

The Captain sets his jaw, turns his head back towards them.

“I got nothing,” Ellie says.

Nyoka nods. “Yeah, I think that’s enough excitement for one day.”

But Parvati looks up, looks guilty. “Actually, um, Captain I – ”

The Captain turns to face her fully and Parvati flinches but to her credit she doesn’t back down.

“What’s your name, Captain? Your real name, I mean.”

The Captain blinks. Whatever he’d been expecting, it evidentially wasn’t that. “Avi,” he says quietly. “My name is Avi.”

He meets Max’s eyes as he steps out of the room. They hear his footsteps retreating down the stairs, the sound of his door closing. Max breathes out. He feels –

Well. On the one hand, he feels elated. Feels triumph singing in his veins and it might be stupid. Petty. Vicious. The kind of behaviour that’d have his mother rolling in her grave and maybe it feels a little unearned but he’s got something, knows more than he did. And because of that, because he was stupid, because he was greedy, he’s gone and fucked it all up.

This is it. He feels the ghost of Captain’s hand play across his jaw. Hear him gasping, his hitching breath, Max’s name on his lips. He closes his eyes briefly. Tells himself it meant nothing. It was a distraction. A means of getting what he wanted.

He opens his eyes.

Now the Captain’s gone, the mood in the room has taken a distinctly sour turn. Parvati and Felix are the first ones up, Parvati glares at him, Felix thumps his shoulder against Max’s, says, “You’re such a dick.”

Nyoka has conjured a drink out of nowhere. Ellie tips her chair back onto two legs as she lights up a Wentsworth. “Suppose you’ll be leaving us now, Vic. Guess I’ll have to find someone else to annoy.”

Max bares his teeth at her but she has a point, he supposes. So he traipses down to the Captain’s room, knocks on the door and waits. He hears the Captain say something to ADA, can’t make out ADA’s response but the door opens a crack and the Captain glares out at him, mouth sullen.

“I suppose you’ll want me off the ship then,” Max says and the Captain looks slightly surprised at the suggestion. His eyes flutter as he tries to rearrange his expression into something more neutral, something less wounded.

“I still need you for that Sublight contract,” he says. “But if you wanna leave, Vic, _leave._ ”

“I don’t,” Max says with a speed that surprises them both.

The Captain gives him a jerky sort of nod before he shuts the door and Max thinks, in that small moment, he should say _wait._ Should grasp door, hold it open. Apologise.

But the moments gone before he can, before he thinks to. 


	11. Chapter 11

For over a week, the Captain hardly speaks a word to him. Hardly spends more than a few moments in his company. Max isn’t overly bitter about it, it’s well deserved and, he’s decided after a fashion, well worth it and not just for him. The crew is better for it. Their little chat, the Captain’s admissions. Even the Captain himself seems a little more relaxed as of late.

 _You’re fucking welcome,_ Max thinks, because no one thanks him. Of course, they don’t. Parvati is still giving him cold looks; Felix still leers warningly from the Captain’s side like a poorly trained guard dog. Even Nyoka eyes him differently now, like he’s something definitely not to be trusted. They’re all angry on the Captain’s behalf but Max hardly marched him in there with a pistol to his back. Max hardly forced him to speak.

Only Ellie still treats him the same, wanders into his room to blow smoke in his face and say, “So, Earth. Gotta say, Vic, I don’t think I would have guessed that. You buy that shit about the Hope?”

Max has decided he does. Not that it makes the mysteries surrounding their Captain any clearer. If his goal is to help Welles unfreeze whoever came to Halcyon with him, why are they wasting time running errands for Sublight?

“I mean, fuck,” Ellie goes on, shaking her head. “What a trip. Can you imagine being frozen for seventy years and then dumped in the middle of _this_? No wonder he’s such a mess. And _you,_ ” she smirks. “Just when I thought you were going soft.”

She says it in such a way that if Max were truly deluded, truly as cold and calculating as Felix and Parvati seem to think him, he could take as a compliment. But Max knows it for it what it truly is, sees it for the insult. He grins at her, “More the fool you, Dr Fenhill.”

She grins back, more of a smirk really before swanning out, calling down to Felix in the galley that that better not be _her_ Purpleberry Lunch he’s microwaving.

-

He’s absorbed in a book he’s read countless times before when the Captain appears in his doorway. Max doesn’t know how long he’s been standing there, only looks up following a distant boom from the vague direction of Parvati’s room followed by her hurried apologies and call for SAM’s help.

He hates the sudden surge of something nameless he feels in his chest when he looks up and sees the Captain standing in the doorway. The swooping feeling that makes him think of the Captain’s mouth against his, his narrow hips and chest, the gold of his eyes in the right light. It’s childish. Uncomfortable. He folds it up neatly and locks it away.

“Captain. I take it you’re finally ready to un-shun me.”

The barest hints of a smile flutter across the Captain’s face. “You’re an asshole, Vic. But yeah. That Sublight job needs doin’.” He steps away, Max knows to follow him.

Felix and Ellie are in the galley. When he enters, Felix looks up, eyes narrowed. “I still don’t get why you want to take him so bad, boss. He’s already proved he’s a no good, back-stabbing – ”

The Captain cuts him off smoothly. “You wanna hack into Rizzo’s systems to transfer the gas, be my guest, Felix.”

Felix huffs, retreats into a stony silence.

“I’m sure you’re not missing anything, Felix,” Ellie says, her tone equal parts teasing and barbed. “After all, the Captain’s liable to have a breakdown and wander off into the wastes before we even get to the factory.”

The Captain ignores her, looks to Max. “We figure it’ll take about a day to get up to Cascadia. ‘S supposed to be overrun by marauders so we’ll have to clear it out.”

 _Why are you so set on this?_ Max wants to ask. _Welles asked you to make contact with an Information Broker. Wouldn’t our efforts be better spent –_

“Nothing we haven’t handled before, Captain.” Max says firmly.

And the Captain sits back, oddly looks a slight more settled. Max studies him as they go over the plan. He looks better than he usually does. The dark circles beneath his eyes now mere shadows, his skin less pale, his hands steadier. He waits until the Captain steps away before giving Ellie a pointed look.

“He’s fine, Vicky.” She says, with a dismissive hand wave. “Well, sleep-wise, he’s fine. There’s only so much I can do, after all. He’s under strict instructions every night. Pop a pill. Get eight hours at least. Otherwise I _will_ confiscate the ship and his crew.”

“Oh yes? And what do the Crew think of that?”

“Didn’t bother telling them. I knew the Captain wouldn’t risk it.”

-

They set out at first light. Even though the sulfur still makes him choke, Max has to admit it feels good to be out, to be by the Captain’s side. And by the Architect, he hates himself for it. Hates that he keeps catching himself staring. Stares as the Captain pulls off his helmet to run a hand through his sweaty hair, stares as the Captain snorts at something Ellie says, as he tilts his face away from them, angles his head down to hide his smile.

Stares as the Captain lies on his front in the dirt, as he lines up his shots, as he inhales, as he squeezes the trigger. He hears the marauders drop one by one, the panicked barking of their canid but he doesn’t turn to check the beast isn’t barrelling towards them. He’s too caught up in the small, smug little smile on the Captain’s face.

“Alright,” Ellie says to him. “The staring is getting a little creepy, Vic. _Especially_ coming from a priest.” She says it loud enough that the Captain up ahead certainly hears and Max can picture the colour creeping into his cheeks beneath his helmet as he picks up his pace.

Ellie laughs, dodges Max’s attempt to shove her. “It’s just _so_ fucking easy.” And Max is about to retaliate but the Captain turns to them and it’s enough of a warning for them to hush up quickly.

On their way to Cascadia, they’re stopping by an abandoned relay station. Max isn’t privy to why and he’s not about to ask. All he needs to know is where to point his rifle.

“Mants,” Ellie mutters, loading up her pistols. “ _Of course,_ it’s fucking mants.”

“Weren’t you brought on this particular outing precisely to kill _mants_ , Dr Fenhill?”

Ellie glowers at him but again, the Captain interrupts, this time by taking a shot that does not quite fell the ‘queen in one. The others scatter, stampede in different directions but mostly in theirs.

“For fucksake, Captain. A little warning next time?” Ellie shouts.

And Max is bracing himself for a shitshow but it’s over in a matter of minutes, mant blood splattered across their chests, gunfire ringing in their ears. It was all so quick, so clean and miraculously, it’s like the for the rest of their journey. Marauders on the road, rapts, mechanicals. All dealt with with an ease that makes Max laugh, makes even the Captain smile.

“Law,” he says, once Cascadia is quiet, empty. “We are unstoppable!”

The Captain, thankfully, is too far away to hear, climbing down carefully from the rooftop he’d been situated on but with Ellie he has no such luck. She laughs at him, shakes her head, “Keep it in your pants, Max.”

And it stings, thinking about _that_ so Max scowls at her, stalks away.

“It’s here,” The Captain calls, standing in front of the town bar. “The lab should be through here.”

-

After Cascadia, the lab is surprisingly quiet. In the end all it takes is for the Captain to pick a lock, Ellie to type some keys into a terminal and the mants are out for the count. “Guess that was the hard part. Now it’s just the part that might blow us up,” Ellie says.

They step through the lab slowly, cautiously. Stop when they come across the man in the tank. The Captain reads his story slowly, a frown on his face. Ellie scoffs and steps away.

“It may be hard for us to understand,” Max says, watching the Captain’s expression closely. “But this was indeed a noble act.”

The Captain’s frown doesn’t fade but he turns his gaze to Max, green of the tank catching in his eyes.

“Actually, I read it more as a story about the dangers of getting too attached,” Ellie calls from across the room. “Can we get moving, please?”

The Captain blinks, something too quick for Max to catch in his gaze before he says, “Looks like you’re up, Vic.”

And then it’s all over. They’ve done it. “Easy as mock-apple pie.”

Ellie makes a show of sagging against the wall. The Captain grins, laughs, “Well, praise – fuck, what is it y’all praise again?”

“Normally the Law,” Max says, warmth spreading through him. “But in this case, you can thank me.”

Ellie coughs. “Uh, you guys need a moment alone?”

Max himself feels a flash of anger, of annoyance and he’s expecting the same from the Captain but oddly the Captain smirks at her, flicks Max a heated gaze, the same gaze he’d shot Max weeks ago on the Groundbreaker. It roots him to the spot, like his brain blacks out for a second but the Captain is laughing again, more of a snort, really.

“Naw. Don’t you worry yourself, doc. We can keep things professional in company.”

 _We,_ Max thinks. _We._ But if the Captain realises what he’s said, realises his slip up, he gives no sign of it. Just follows Ellie up to elevator. “You plannin’ on stayin’ here, Vic?”

Max’s legs are moving before his brain has kicked in.

“Oh, great, a police station,” Ellie says, as they step out on the surface. “You take us to the _nicest_ places, Cap.”

-

Before they depart, fly back to Fallbrook, the Captain is insistent they open the town doors. Rejoin the two halves. Ellie bows out but Parvati steps in, keeps up a largely one-sided dialogue with the Captain as they hunt for the controls. She casts uncertain looks Max’s way, here and there cautiously engages him in conversation.

“Ah,” she says, finding the controls at last. “Here we go! Step back, Captain Avi.”

It’s odd to hear it so often. The Captain’s given name. Max had hardly even thought to use it, still only thinks of it when Parvati’s around.

The Captain obeys and the gates heave open with a garbled rendition of the Rizzo’s jingle. The Captain tilts his head. “There’s a lift out there, on the bridge.”

He keeps himself dead centre as he strides out towards it, very pointedly does not look over either of the sides. Max and Parvati follow. “Captain, are you sure we should – ?” Parvati calls but the Captain has already stepped inside.

Max ends up shooting the man in the bunker dead. Shoots him point blank in the chest.

Once they learn his story, Max feels a hollow pang of guilt, the bitter taste of regret but, in his defence, the man did come at them with an N-Ray emitting scythe. Caught the Captain on the shoulder.

Max remembers thinking _no,_ or maybe he shouted it. Remembers thinking no. Not now. Not after everything else they’ve done today. Remembers taking the shot. Remembers the man crumpling.

Now he’s sitting with the Captain as he shakes, the N-Rays cutting through his body, taking him apart, waiting for Parvati to come back with Ellie, to make him well again. Max thinks he should probably be concentrating a little more on comforting the Captain and far less on the way the Captain is leant against him, feverish and clammy.

“The Woolly, Max,” he says, his teeth chattering. “The Woolly – we can’t just leave her here – ”

Fevered nonsense, Max assumes. Can’t quite fathom a kind way of putting that so he says nothing and is saved from responding by Felix bursting through the bunker door, Parvati close on his heels.

“Holy shit, boss!” Felix shouts, almost bowling the Captain over in his agitation. “Are you alright? I’ve got this for you! Adreno! Ellie says – ”

Max snatches the adreno away from him and administers it to the Captain himself. Almost immediately the tremors stop, the Captain sags against him.

“I’m sorry, Captain Avi, Doctor Ellie said you’d make it back to the ship alright and if we gave you this you wouldn’t die or nothin’,” Parvati says. “But I brought Felix in case you need help, um, you know…”

The Captain waves her off. “It’s fine, Parvati.” He sits up slowly, Felix is there immediately to help him. Lifts him clumsily, almost sends them both toppling over.

“Shit, sorry, boss, just let me – okay, we’ve got it now.”

“I’m _fine,_ Felix,” The Captain says, pushing him gently away. “I’m fine. But you can help me with the Woolly.”

Max stares at him. “Are you _sure_ you’re fine, Captain?”

To his credit, Felix doesn’t ask anything further.

The Captain frowns. “Well, we can’t leave her here, Vic. There’s no food for her, no water. She’ll starve.”

Parvati’s eyes are wide, “Are you saying we get to _keep_ her, Captain?”

“We’ll see,” the Captain says.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all your comments so far <3

Rather unsurprisingly, it takes quite a while for them to get the Woolly on board. Max suggests several times that they give up, leave the damn thing to be put out of it’s misery by the next group of rapts that take up residence in Cascadia but the Captain is insistent. Not so much with his words but with the acidic glares he throws Max’s way with each suggestion.

Luckily, Max isn’t the only one on the ship with reservations.

“Captain, I hope you’re not intending on keeping that thing here long term,” ADA says. “You know how I feel about fertiliser shipments.”

“And I am _not_ cleaning up any shit,” Ellie adds, from wherever it is she’s hiding.

“My ship, my rules,” the Captain says, making soothing sounds to the Woolly as he gets her situated. “She’ll be stayin’ here until I say otherwise.”

He’s still a little shaky after the N-Rays, Max is trying not to watch him too closely but it’s becoming difficult. He’s rolled up his shirt sleeves, there’s something matted in his hair, he almost certainly stinks of woolly now and there’s still a pallor to his skin but Max still can’t look away.

Law, the things he wants to do to that man. His Captain.

But he won’t.

“Take us to Groundbreaker, ADA,” The Captain says.

Parvati makes a face. “We ain’t gonna leave her there too, are we, Captain?”

The Captain twists his mouth, tilts his head at the Woolly. “We’ll see how she goes. A spaceship ain’t exactly the best place for her but she has spent most of her life in a pretty small space. Don’t wanna overwhelm the old girl.”

Parvati nods. Her eyes are wide as she looks up at the Captain, hanging on his every word like he’s some great learned scholar. “You sure know a whole lot about animals, Captain.”

“Yeah,” Felix agrees. “You go to school for it, or something? You could do that, right? Go to school, learn about how to look after ‘em. You have a bunch of animals back on Earth, boss?”

The Captain’s gaze is far away, fixed on the woolly but not really seeing. Neither Felix nor Parvati seem aware of this, though. Carry on speculating, chatting sunnily. “Sorta,” the Captain mumbles. “I worked with ‘em. On a farm.”

And Max –

Max starts. “You were a _farmer_?”

He doesn’t really mean the disgust in his tone except that – except that maybe he does because a _farmer?_ The man who has been leading them, leading _him_ – who pilots their ship and points their guns – that man is a _farmer._ Someone who rakes dirt and spends all his days around creatures with fewer braincells than Mr Milstone.

A _farmer._

The Captain turns to him angrily. “Got a problem with that, Vic?” he snarls.

Max splutters. He has _several_ problems with that, actually, but they are all attempting to make their way out of his mouth at once. “A _farmer_?” is all he manages.

Colour is creeping fast into the Captain’s cheeks.

Felix and Parvati have fallen quiet, eyes wide.

“But you came here on the Hope,” Max says. “You’re supposed to the _best and brightest_ but you’re a _farmer._ ”

Ellie is leaning over the railings above them, laughing. “Welles couldn’t exactly experiment on the _best and brightest,_ now could he, Vicky? We should be grateful there were men like our Captain in amongst the rest.”

“Uh, Vic,” Felix says. “I’d maybe rethink whatever it is you’re thinking of doing here.”

Max blinks. Takes a moment to rein in his anger and really look at the Captain stood in front of him. The tight clench of his jaw, the way his chest is heaving. He whips round, snarls at Felix, “Stay the fuck outta this, kid.”

When he turns back to Max he looks even angrier. “You got something to say, Vic, you _say it_.”

And Max takes a breath.

This isn’t smart. This isn’t going to end well for anyone, least of all him. And yes, maybe it’s just a tiny bit of an overreaction.

“No, Captain,” he forces out. “I’ve got nothing to say.”

-

He doesn’t need Parvati to tell him to apologise this time – not that he intends to apologise, or really feels the need to – but he needs to make sure the Captain is still on speaking terms with him, that he hasn’t decided to finally kick Max off of his ship.

He knocks and after a few moments, ADA opens the door for him.

The Captain is stood by his desk, bent over what looks like a map. He glances over when Max steps into the room, his eyes narrow a fraction and he lets out a small scoff. “Come to tell me you don’t like the idea of followin’ a farmboy’s orders?”

Max doesn’t dignify that with a response. “Just checking in,” he says, instead.

The Captain looks back to his map. “Checkin’ I’m still talkin’ to you, you mean.”

“Well, after your last little tantrum – ”

The Captain laughs. “ _My little tantrum,_ ” he repeats. “What was it last time, Vic? Oh yeah, you lyin’ your ass off for no damn reason.”

Max moves to stand next to him, goes slow like he imagines he would with a particularly skittish animal. But the Captain doesn’t look particularly angry anymore, he’s not coiled tight like he usually is. His shoulders are slightly slumped, he’s chewing on his bottom lip.

“You looked troubled.”

The Captain flicks a glance towards him. “There’s two routes up to Devil’s Peak. The caverns and the mountain itself. Nyoka says the route up is packed with monsters. You know, unlike the rest of the Monarch.”

Max smiles. “And the caverns?”

“Probably packed with monsters but underground this time. And I ain’t much for caves.” He looks at Max again, almost pre-emptively. “What? Not gonna freak out about that?”

And this is the part where Max should probably say, _yes, about earlier –_ but he doesn’t. Wouldn’t even know how to be begin, really, so instead he shifts closer so their hips bump together and the Captain breathes out, looks down a moment. But then he shifts away and Max feels –

Max feels –

He clears his throat. “When do we leave?”

The Captain doesn’t look at him. “Mornin’, probably.”

Max nods. “I take it you have no objections to my accompanying you?”

“Do whatever you want, Vic.”

-

In the end, they all end up coming. Him, Ellie, Nyoka, Felix, Parvati and her ridiculous robot all make the trek out of Fallbrook and up towards the peak. It’s about as disruptive as Max thought it would be, all of them. Clamouring and jostling and bickering. Felix keeps asking the Captain if he’s okay, if he’s really okay, because, really, boss, if you just don’t look down – until the Captain snaps at him and Parvati explains quietly to Max that the Captain isn’t a fan of heights.

Max closes his eyes, _by the Law,_ and mutters, “Of _course_ he fucking isn’t. What kind of self-respecting sniper would be.”

Ellie laughs at him. “Still grappling with the idea that your new Lord and Saviour is a mere mortal like the rest of us, Max?” And Max seriously considers the plausible deniability of shoving her off the edge of the mountain.

But in the end, it works out. They all make it to the top and back down again alive. The Captain saves the day, kills the marauders, even manages to stop the targeting module falling into the hands of either MSI or the Iconoclasts and Max finds himself back in the Captain’s quarters, watching as he frowns, as he gnaws at his bottom lip once more.

He's holding the targeting module, frowning down at it. Max keeps being struck by how much better he looks since Ellie started making him take sleeping pills regularly. How much healthier.

“You look troubled.”

The Captain’s frown deepens in answer. “Doesn’t matter who I give it to. Someone’s gonna end up dead.”

“You must have a preference.”

“Sanjar,” The Captain says, almost too quickly. “But if I give this to him, MSI’ll shot up the Iconoclasts. Can’t give it to Graham, though.” He sets it down on the desk, heaves a sigh. “Maybe I’ll just keep the damn thing.”

Max steps closer. He feels bolder today. Things have been going well. He puts a hand on the Captain’s hip. At first he tenses up, glances down at Max’s hand with something unreadable in his eyes but then he sighs, relaxes into Max’s touch.

“What about Zora?” Max suggests. “She seems less, well, _deluded._ More realistic in her goals for her people. Maybe Sanjar could be persuaded to work with her.”

The Captain grins at him. “That’s not half bad, Vic. Knew I kept you around for somethin’.”

“Something,” Max agrees, sliding his hand beneath the waistband of the Captain’s trousers and there’s something in the way the Captain’s eyelids flutter, the little exhale that has Max reminding himself that there’s a reason he’s doing this.

The Book.

He’s doing this for the book. To learn the secrets of this universe. As the Architect intends. He’s doing this to get to Scylla. To get a translation.

The Captain doesn’t shift away this time so Max presses him against the desk, grips at his hips. “Not this, though?” he teases and the Captain laughs, breathlessly, pulls Max into a kiss that is really more a bite.

“This is more a perk, Vic,” he pants when they break. He’s sat back on the desk, slides down one hand down Max’s spine. His eyes are wide, pupils blown, mouth still curled in a smirk. “Better make it worth my while though.”

Max smirks before kissing him again, presses him harder against the desk, grinds against him until he lets out a breathy gasp and grips at Max’s hips. Max feels heat deep in his stomach as the Captain pants, “Get these _off_ ,” desperately in his ear and Max is only too happy to oblige.

They fit together well, Max thinks as he pins the Captain back to the desk. The Captain’s thighs are wrapped around his hips, arms around his shoulders. “Top drawer,” he hisses and Max knows exactly what he means. Slides one hand down to retrieve the lube.

“Fuck,” the Captain breathes against his neck as Max pushes the first finger in. But it sounds more like please, goes well with the way he cants his hips forwards, rolls them impatiently. Max slides in a second finger and curls at just the right angle to make the Captain’s whole body arch in response.

“Oh, fuck, oh _fuck, Max_.”

“You told me to make it worth your while,” Max reminds him and the Captain laughs, breathless.

“Shoulda left you in that backwater nowhere place.” But he changes his tune when Max is fucking him, holds him so tight Max is sure he can hear his bones grinding together. When he comes, Max fucks him through it and it takes no more than a few sharp thrust for Max to be coming too.

-

Afterwards, he finds himself looking about the Captain’s quarters as they both dress. At the signs from Edgewater and Roseaway, the drinks cart, the odd, glowing mushrooms that have apparently taken root above his bed. As he puts the lube away he notices an old metal lockbox in the Captain’s drawer. It’s not something he’s seen before but he’s seen similar on Groundbreaker, old and rusted. It must be something from the Hope. From Earth.

He shuts the drawer, drags his gaze away to where the Captain is pulling on a loose t-shirt. There are bite marks on his shoulder, on his throat. When he notices Max looking, he smirks. “Want somethin’, Vic?”

Max politely drops his gaze, looks out towards the stars. “I must confess, Captain. I do find myself in need of a favour once more.”

The Captain snorts, drops down to sit on his bed. “’Course you do. This wouldn’t be about that book of yours again, would it?”

“Apologies, Captain,” Max says, smiling amiably. “It is. Before he died, Chaney told me of a hermit on Scylla who – ”

The Captain makes a face. “I hate that place.”

Yes. Max recalls. He tilts his head though, plays dumb. “Scylla?”

The Captain nods. He’s pushed himself back so he can lean against the wall.

“What troubles you about it so?”

The Captain shrugs. “I dunno. It just – It ain’t right. Bein’ out there. Feels like we ain’t meant to be. There more than anyplace else.”

“’Anyplace else’ meaning Halcyon?”

He twists his mouth at that, eyes Max carefully, like he’s worried he’s offended him.

“You said before it wasn’t your idea to come here,” Max says and he realises it hurts in some odd, absent way. It hurts that the Captain didn’t want to leave Earth. That he probably still wishes he hadn’t. He tilts his head. “Why did you then?”

The Captain drops his gaze. “Just followin’ my family, Vic.”

 _My family._ Max wonders. Wants to know. He’s mentioned a sister but no others. Who else came here with him? Who else is he trying to save? 

“A noble sentiment,” Max says. Hopes he doesn’t sound too bitter, too sarcastic. He stands to go but the Captain calls him back.

“We’ll go see your hermit soon. I gotta see Welles about somethin’ first. And Vic, no more lyin’, alright?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i'm having kind of a slump when it comes to writing so this chapter is iffy but i don't want to leave you guys hanging too long

Max isn’t certain exactly what he expected upon meeting Phineas Welles but it probably did not involve a nervous, slightly twitchy man speaking to them through glass several inches thick. The others, even Ellie, are somewhat charmed by the man.

Well, charmed is perhaps not the right word. Awestruck. They are awestruck. Meeting Halcyon’s Most Wanted is probably supposed to do that and perhaps, were Max a younger man who not spent large swathes of his life in prison, he would share in that revelry. He knew a little of Welles from the posters plastered across Edgewater and the tales ringing across the aetherwave though he hadn’t payed attention to more than the basics. He generally did not unless the criminal of the week had some bearing on his life, on his beliefs.

So while the Captain talks to Welles about Byzantium and securing dimethyl sulfoxide for the Hope colonists, Max wanders through Welles’ lab, examines the bubbling jars stuffed with creatures, the stacks of paper filled with nonsensical scribbles. Welles keeps a close eye on him, breaks from his conversation with the Captain more than once to explain exactly what it is Max is looking at and remind him to be careful, to not touch that, to _please_ put those back in the _correct_ order.

“Mm,” he calls. “That terminal records my experiments, Vicar. If you would be careful not to accidentally delete anything.”

“Not to worry, Mr Welles. I know my way around a terminal,” Max says, through gritted teeth. The Captain glances over at him at that, eyes slightly narrowed, mouth thin. _Don’t fuck this up, Vic,_ he’s saying. Max rolls his eyes in answer, looks back to the terminal.

It seems Dr Welles did not begin with the Captain. The others were all failures. Max skims across their files, Welles’ experiment logs. His gaze flicks to where the Captain is crouched by the glass, playing with ears of Welles’ cysty-pig. He wants to thank Welles for saving him, he wants to rage at him for risking his life.

He clicks on the file entitled Aviel Dunay.

The experiment logs are fairly short. They speak of the Captain’s odd abilities, of the success of his revival. The personnel file, copied from the Hope is longer but the Captain looks to be finishing his talk with Welles, is standing up now, glances across at him.

Max has always been but a slave to his curiosity. It’s easy enough to copy the file over to his own datapad and pocket it like nothing has transpired.

He smiles politely at Welles before they go and Welles frowns at him, seems to not know what to make of him.

As they pile back onto the Unreliable, the Captain tells Max he needs to speak to him. Leads him into the cargo bay and settles himself down beside the woolly in her pen. Parvati has begun calling the beast Blossom, the Captain mostly seems to call it Madam.

“I know I said we’d head to Scylla right after this but Sanjar’s been at me over this targeting module thing.”

Ellie, who is pretending to fix one of her pistols snorts, says, “Well, if _Sanjar_ wants something you better hop to it, Captain.” And the look she shoots Max is teasing, gloating. She’s trying to make him jealous, Max realises and rather annoyingly, though he is certain the Captain feels nothing towards Sanjar beyond a general level of respect, it’s working.

The Captain scowls at Ellie. “You won’t get all pissy if we swing back to Monarch before checkin’ in on your hermit, will you, Vic?”

 _Yeah,_ Ellie mouths, over the Captain’s shoulder. _Will you, Vic?_

“Not at all, Captain,” Max answers smoothly, looks pointedly at Ellie as he finishes speaking.

The Captain grins at him. His teeth are slightly wonky. Max hates that he’s started to think of that as _endearing._

By the Law. He has to get out of here.

-

On Monarch, the Captain takes only Max with him to retrieve Zora Blackwood’s Executive Review. It is perhaps not the wisest of ideas, they have left the Unreliable in Fallbrook so it is not exactly a short journey, but it does mean that Max can press him against the wall of the abandoned Rizzo’s building and suck a mark into his throat that makes him moan Max’s name. Suck a mark into his throat that is still visible in the dimly lit old church Sanjar and Zora hold their first meeting in.

Max still has Graham’s blood spattered across his armour. Nyoka is watching the proceedings looking slightly awed. The Captain mediates and there is something vast and unknowable unfurling in Max’s chest as he watches. Something Max is sure will consume him if he lets it.

The Captain does the unimaginable; he brokers peace between MSI and the Iconoclasts. Then again, most everything he’s done since landing in Halcyon is unimaginable.

They walk back to the Unreliable in silence. When they reach the elevator landing pad, the Captain pauses, turns to Nyoka and says, “You know you don’t have to follow me around anymore.” He’s frowning at her, like he truly can’t figure out why she’s still here. She’s done the job she was paid to do. He’s even done what he can to improve her homeworld. “You can go home if you want.”

Nyoka stares straight back at him. When she blinks her eyes are slightly glassy. “Nah. I’m good right here,” she says.

Max feels like he doesn’t breathe out until he gets back to his room and safely seals the door behind him.

He hasn’t looked through the Captain’s personal file yet. It’s just there. Loaded onto his datapad. It makes his fingers itch every time he’s nearby but each time he goes to bring it up he thinks of –

Each time he brings it up, something stops him.

Like the knock on the door that makes him jump. The Captain leaning in and telling him Welles’ contact has been in touch, telling him she’ll be in Byzantium Port tomorrow to meet them. Asking whether he minds if they meet her before they go to Scylla.

After Scylla, Max will have his answers. He’ll be free to leave this little diversion, this blip, this odd little obstacle the Architect has seen fit to lay in his path. He can go back to his life. The life that was always intended for him.

If he said no, if he asked the Captain to just fucking take him to Scylla already, he’s fairly certain the Captain would do it.

Instead, he says: “That’s perfectly fine, Captain.”

And later, when he slinks into the galley for some food, he finds Ellie in there smoking. “Fuck, Vicky,” she says. “I just heard we’re keeping you around a little longer too. Thought we’d be getting rid of Nyoka today.” She smirks at him around her smoke, the ash dropping liberally onto the table.

 _The Captain won’t be pleased to find you smoking in here,_ Max thinks to say. _But I think you know that._

“It’s almost like you like it here, or something,” she says.

Max rolls his eyes at her, mutters, “Or something.”

-

Byzantium is everything Max dreamed. Towering, glittering, glorious. A true testament to all they’ve achieved in Halcyon. Of course, the Captain has them spend an alarming amount of time running through the sewers chasing sprats and breaking in to buildings.

The breaking and entering, Max is fine with. The chasing sprats, he’s less happy about.

“Would you hush? You’ll spook him even more, frettin’ like that!” The Captain hisses.

“I’m only frettin’, Captain, because of the robot in there void-bent on shoot that poor critter dead!” Parvati hisses back. She’s worrying her bottom lip. The Captain has taken an extra few huffs of his inhaler. Max honestly isn’t certain whether Parvati is more concerned about _that_ or the space rat they’re chasing.

Max has to admit though. There’s maybe something to watching the two of them coax the little runts into boxes that makes this halfway worth it. “If we could speed things along,” he suggests and the two of them turn to him with almost identical expressions of fury and say, “Shhh.”

It makes Max think hazily of his childhood. Half-remembered nonsense from a backwater nowhere. His parents waiting at home.

They get all the sprats back to their grateful owner in one piece. The Captain, red-faced, waves the man’s credits off and they head back to the Unreliable to spend another night around the table in the galley trying to identify a suitable route in and out of Minister Clarke’s house.

“You’re getting soft, Vic,” Ellie says to him when it’s just the two of them around the table. Well, the two of them and a pass out Nyoka. “Don’t think none of us notice the way you stare at the Captain. All moon-eyed and disgusting.”

Max looks at her tiredly. “Can we make this one quick, Doctor Fenhill? I’m rather tired.”

She grins at him. “You mean you hope the Captain’s waiting in your room?” At his eye roll she lets out a huff of laughter. “Fine, fine. Jeez. None of you are any fun anymore.” She shakes her head.

“Get on with it.”

“I want to know exactly what it was you took from Welles.”

Max decides to play it cool. “I have no idea what you mean.”

Ellie sits back in her chair. “Nice try, Vic. See, I figure it’s probably something to do with the Captain. Welles’ experiment logs, stuff on his weird brain, his files from the Hope. Whatever it is, I want to see. Or at least, hear the highlights. I figure you owe me for saving your life more times than I can count.”

“And just how do you _figure_ that?”

She snorts. “Look, Vic, half the time you’ve got your eye on the Captain. Someone’s gotta keep their eye on you.”

Max is about to call her out but he realises there’s at least a slim chance she could be telling the truth. Not that it matters. “Doctor Fenhill, even if I knew what you were talking about, there’s absolutely no way I would share anything I took from Welles with you.”

He stands up and leaves, hears Ellie mutter something under her breath as he goes. When he reaches the door, his fingers start to twitch. It’d be so easy to pull up those files on his datapad. But –

But –


	14. Chapter 14

“It’ll be easier if I go in alone,” The Captain says. He’s said it four times already – maybe five, Max may have blacked out from pure rage at one point – and he’s starting to get annoyed. One hand tight at the back of his neck, mouth curved into a scowl.

“And I’m saying, _that’s fucking stupid,_ ” Ellie says. She’s also said this a few times, mostly to enthusiastic support from everyone else in the crew.

“It’s _not_ though,” the Captain growls. He pinches the bridge of his nose and stalks off a few steps. “It’s a highly defended building, one slip up and security’ll be _all over me_ so – ”

“Precisely why you shouldn’t go in unaccompanied!” Max snaps.

The Captain glares at him.

For the past half hour, he’s been trying to convince them to let him break into the Ministry of Accuracy and Morale alone. For the past half hour, Max and the rest of the crew have been explaining to him precisely why that’s a bad idea. The thing is, Max knows it’s pointless. If the Captain wants to go in alone, he’ll go in alone. It matters, Max supposes, that he told them, that he asked their opinion even if they responded with the wrong one.

Parvati knows it’s pointless too. She’s said nothing through this whole affair, just sits in her place at the table and looks upset.

“If I go in _accompanied_ it’s all the more likely we’ll get caught,” The Captain retorts. He says the words slowly, hisses them through his teeth. “Look what happened at the Minister house – ”

“Yeah,” Nyoka interjects. “That was my bad.”

The Captain turns his ire in her direction and Max takes a moment to collect himself. Exchanges a look with Ellie that’s equal parts angry and exasperated.

“We almost died,” The Captain goes on. “All of us because _one person_ fucked up.”

“Okay,” Nyoka mutters.

“And I ain’t in any sort of hurry to do that again.” The Captain finishes.

“No, you’re just in a _kind of sort of hurry_ to get yourself killed,” Ellie snaps. She stands up, pulls her box of cosmics from her pocket. “You know what? This is fucking pointless. You wanna get yourself shot, Captain, you go right ahead.”

The Captain stands a few moments longer after Ellie stalks out before he snarls in frustration and stomps out too – not after Ellie, but to stew in his own room.

“So, um, are we going with him – or ?” Felix asks, shattering the uncomfortable silence the Captain leaves in his wake.

Max sighs at him. Parvati sighs too, but she’s looking at Max.

“You’ll talk to him, right Vicar? You’ll make him see straight?”

“I’ll do my best, Miss Holcombe.”

He stops by Ellie’s room first. There’s no real reason to, he knows she won’t offer an apology or an explanation. She won’t offer to help in speaking to the Captain. She’s sitting on her bunk, flicking her lighter open and shut. “Wrong room, Vicky. Unless you’re looking to switch teams but I gotta say, you’re really not my type.”

“Just checking in.”

Ellie laughs at him. “Sure. Run along now to your Captain. Make him see things your way or fuck him to his senses. I couldn’t give a crap how you do it, just make sure we’re not gonna be here Captain-less.”

Which is more emotion than he was expecting, at any rate.

-

Max doesn’t have to ask ADA to let him into the Captain’s quarters these days. The door opens as he approaches and the Captain looks up. Max is expecting anger, annoyance, petulance but he just looks tired, lent up against the glass. They’re in orbit above Byzantium, safer than being docked down at the port. The lights of the city shine bright against the dark surface.

Max had several lectures and platitudes lined up, several insults as back up when those failed but none of them seem quite right anymore. None of them feel well suited. This will require a different tactic. Something quieter, more subtle.

He steps into the room and folds his arms, watches as the Captain grows steadily less comfortable under his gaze. As he starts to fidget, shifts from foot-to-foot. As some of the tension, tight in his shoulders, in his spine, starts to dissipate. His golden eyes skirt towards Max before they drop again and he sighs.

“If Parvati sent you in here to talk sense into me, you can forget it.”

Max hides the smug smile that threatens to tug at the corners of his mouth. The Captain looks eerie and defiant and beautiful. In the half light of his quarters, against the inky darkness and small bright lights, there’s no other word for it.

“You know I’m right, Vic,” he goes on. He’s not looking at Max, not directly, but he’s watching Max’s reflection in the window, the ghostly apparition against the black of the sky. Max’s eyes are fixed on him all the same. “You know it.”

And there’s part of Max that thinks, on the surface of it, at least, that yes. He’s right. It would be safer if only one of them went into the Ministry. One stranger can go unnoticed, can be explained away. A group, however, is more difficult to hide.

But because it’s the Captain – because it’s the ministry – because it’s _them,_ the crew of the Unreliable, who’ll be left behind, waiting and wondering – he can’t be right. He’s not.

“Do I?” he asks and the Captain scowls at him in the glass.

“You fuckin’ – ” He starts but he stops, closes his eyes and shakes his head, slumps against the glass slightly. “I don’t wanna argue. I’m fuckin’ tired of arguing. Ellie’s been at me all day ‘cos I wouldn’t make her look _cool_ in front of her parents.”

Max stares. “I’m sorry?”

The Captain looks up at him. For real, this time, a small smile plays across his face. “She took me to meet ‘em, didn’t I tell you? Dragged me out to their pretty apartment full of all these fancy things and _God_ , they were awful. Her parents, I mean. Shallow, petty. She wanted me to make her out like she was some sort of outlaw, doin’ all these terrible things for terrible reasons so they’d, I dunno, disown her or somethin’ but – ” He breaks off.

“But?” Max prompts.

The Captain has turned to face him fully now. Slumped down against the window, he looks shorter than he really is. Slighter. “I couldn’t. I just – I don’t think she really gets it, you know? Havin’ them gone forever.”

 _Ah,_ Max thinks. He’s close enough to touch now but Max doesn’t dare. “Were you close to your parents?” he asks, in his best kindly-priest voice.

The Captain frowns, shrugs his shoulders. “We weren’t – ” He rubs the back of his neck. “I dunno if you’d call us _close_ but – we weren’t – we didn’t fight or nothin’. We were just all very different people. They wanted a lot more for me, you know? Didn’t get how I was happy where I was.” He looks at Max. “What about you? Were you all good with your folks?”

“It was quite the opposite for me, actually. I was the one wanting a lot more and they were the ones happy where they were.” He hasn’t thought of them years – except, that’s a lie. He thinks of them often without really meaning to. When he made it to the OSI, when he was imprisoned, when he was released. What they’d think of him, what they’d say. Nothing much of importance, he suspects. Certainly nothing insightful. They were never much for complex discussion but –

The Captain’s expression is unreadable as he nods slowly. Max has no idea what the Captain’s taking from his story, whether it’s given him some deep insight into who Max is and why, but the whole idea of it is making him somewhat uncomfortable so he changes the subject.

“About the Ministry – ”

The Captain groans. “Come on, Vic.”

“I’m not saying take all of us but, Captain, going in alone would be suicide.”

The Captain pushes off the wall, strides halfway across the room before turning back to Max. “Alright, who should I take? Nyoka’s a fuckin’ liability. Ellie didn’t listen to me before I pissed her off. Felix is nice but the kid’s thick as two short planks.”

“Parvati?”

“Spooks too easy. Can’t hold it together if things go even slightly off book.”

“And me?”

The Captain smiles. “You’re too hot headed.”

“I can control myself.”

The Captain scoffs and his grin sets some dark, possessive part of Max’s brain alight. “Well, I’ve yet to see any evidence of that, Vic.”

-

“Never thought he’d be so submissive.”

Ellie is smoking against the rail outside the Captain’s room. Says it like it’s something perfectly normal to be tossed about among crew members. Max takes a moment to steel himself. He’s used to Ellie’s teasing, her needling but she always knows how to get right under his skin.

She shrugs when Max meets her eyes, waves the hand holding her cigarette vaguely in the direction of the Captain’s door. “I mean, I know they say that thing about people in control in their real lives wanting to be out of control in their private lives but honestly, I just never figured him the type.”

“Is there a point to this, Doctor Fenhill?”

She laughs, blows a cloud of smoke in his direction. “Think that’s something you should be asking yourself, Vic.” She’s getting at something, something beyond the Ministry, something beyond whatever issue she’s got with the Captain right now and Max has no idea what.

And by the Law, she knows it’ll drive him mad.

“Just something to ponder,” she says, dropping her smoke and crushing it beneath her boot with a wink.

Back in his room, it takes Max only a few moments to notice Ellie’s hacked his datapad. He probably should figured. What else would she have been alluding too? What else _could_ she have been alluding too?

The need to know itches under his skin. Ellie knows, and she’ll fucking hold it over him for as long as they’re on this crew together. And from what she said, he should know too. Has a right to know, maybe.

He’s still trying to make up his mind when Parvati knocks on his door. “Um, Vicar Max, are you, um, awake? Or uh, decent? I just wanted to – ”

“ADA, the door.”

Parvati steps back when the door opens. Blinks rapidly then smiles nervously. “I just wanted to ask whether the Captain – well, whether you talked sense into him?”

“He’ll let me accompany him to the ministry,” Max tells her and she sags with relief.

“Phew. Well that’s a load offa me! I was getting so worried, I just about – and you’ll keep him safe, right? Gosh, the things he puts us through! Well, I’ll, uh, leave you be now. Good night!”

When she’s gone, he picks up the datapad. He’ll be putting his life on the line again for the Captain tomorrow. Putting off Scylla again. It’s less an invasion of privacy and more research to further his journey along the path the Architect has laid down for him.

But before he goes to open the Captain’s file, there’s a moment where something almost stops him. Something tugging and insistent.

He pushes it down, swallows it back and opens the file.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this has taken such a while, i'm trying to camp nano which has meant bouncing back and forth between half formed ideas without making any real progress.  
> i hope you're all keeping safe and socially distancing.
> 
> also, a note about the plot at the end.

In the Ministry of Accuracy and Morale, the Captain stands in front of a laboratory full of human subjects, gnawing at his bottom lip. “I thought you religious types were supposed to be good at advice,” he snaps. One of his hands is at the back of his neck, nails dug in tight.

Max watches from a few feet away. The Captain’s trying to decide whether to steal all the gas he and Welles need or to leave most of it to keep these subjects alive. On a level, Max supposes, it’s an interesting conundrum. Anywhere else, he’d be happy to discuss it. Right now, though, he’s rather more concerned with the heavily armed guards who will, at some point soon, finish hunting down the prisoners the Captain let loose. And, quite frankly, he couldn’t give a sprats’ ass about the people in these tubes. The Ministry certainly isn’t planning to give them a happy future, all the Captain is probably doing here is prolonging the inevitable and limiting the effectiveness of what he and Welles are planning.

It’s stupid. Sentimental nonsense.

The Captain glances back at him because he wants Max to tell him what to do. To give him permission to be selfish or remind why he shouldn’t be. And it would be easy to do it. Easy to choose these people’s fates through him, easy to chase that look from his eyes, to have it replaced with an unhappy frown that’s exhaled as a sigh when he decides there really was no other option.

It would be so easy.

But Max won’t.

No. Instead, he watches the Captain’s anguish, his annoyance, his _frustration_ , grow.

“Goddammit, Vic,” he mutters and Max folds his arms.

“Captain, not to hurry you through this, but – ”

“Goddammit,” the Captain mutters again. “God- _fucking_ -dammit.”

-

When Max was a boy, he never wanted anything more than to hunt down the truth. At that age, he wasn’t quite sure what that truth was, what it could possibly be, but he knew he’d find it. He knew that was the one thing he was placed in the universe to do and nothing would distract him from that goal. No one would stand in his way.

He’s never needed anything else in his life – never _wanted_ anything else in his life. Anything else would be a distraction, his own selfishness getting in the way of his purpose, his true purpose. And all through his life, the Architect has had a way of keeping him on his path, snapping him back to where he’s supposed to be. And it’s never fucking gentle.

After the Ministry, the Captain is cross with him. Doesn’t speak a word as they trudge back to the Unreliable and then ADA calls him into the cockpit for an urgent message. He looks back at Max once and seals the door.

Max lets out a breath, the sting of it drowned out by the bitterness that’s been simmering away since last night. Ellie’s in the galley drinking with Nyoka because of course she is, because that’s the way Max’s day has been going so far so why _wouldn’t_ she be? She grins at him, raises her glass, “That bad, huh?”

He glowers and she laughs. “Worse? Oh, fuck, Vicky, you finally manned up and read his file. I was beginning to think you didn’t have it in you.”

Max breaks the plate he’s holding because breaking her face would probably be more complicated.

Nyoka looks between them. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

Max doesn’t stick around for whatever explanation Ellie gives, snaps something about wanting peace and quiet and stomps down the corridor. He’s intending on retiring to his room, trying to loose himself in a book, in something he _should_ be concerned with but he already knows there’s no point. He’ll stare unseeing at the pages, rage stewing further.

He stares down the corridor, towards the Captain’s quarters.

The Captain’s probably still below.

He doesn’t bother asking ADA for permission, banks on her being too distracted by whatever’s going on to keep the doors locked. It won’t take him long. He knows exactly what he’s looking for. The metal lock box in the top drawer. Luckily, it’s not sealed.

There’s not much in there. A photograph of a family – the Captain’s family he assumes but he hardly glances at it – an envelope full of letters yellowed now with age –

_Name; Aviel Dunay_

_High intelligence; low temperament_

\-- a small, ziplock bag of seeds –

_Aptitude for farming, crops and livestock._

\- a packet of playing cards –

_Tendency towards addiction. Would normally be unsuited for placement but due to family connections …_

Max’s fingers close around it last.

_Connected passengers (2)_

He closes his eyes briefly and exhales.

  1. _Dr E. Dunay – sister_



There’s a certain measure of relief, he thinks. A good, clean reason to walk away from this.

It’s for the best.

For the best for everyone.

The door behind him opens and he drops the ring back into the box and slides the drawer shut in one smooth motion before turning to face the Captain.

His face is flushed and angry. He visibly jerks when he sees Max standing at his desk but instead of the angry reaction Max was expecting, his shoulders slump forwards, his expression crumples. “What’re you doin’ in here?” he asks tiredly.

“I thought I should apologise for my inaction earlier,” Max lies. “I should have been of my assistance but I – is everything alright, Captain?”

He’s leaning against the door, lets his head tilt back as he shakes his head. “The Board’s tracking us. Has been a while, I guess. Some lady got in touch. Ad – something?”

Max tilts his head. “Adjutant Sophia? What did she want?”

“Offered me a deal. Turn in Phineas, play nice with the Board.”

“Did you take it?”

The Captain makes a face. “Hell no, Vic. What the hell d’you take me for?” He rubs his face. “No, no. But they’ve been tailing us so I figured we’d wait a little before we head back to the Doc. Um. I was thinking we’d finally get back to Scylla for your book.”

He says it almost offhand, smiles tiredly like it’s some reward for good behaviour. But then, why shouldn’t he? He doesn’t know Max’s plan is leave after this. Or maybe he does. Maybe he’s known all along. Maybe he’s ready for this to be over. Saves him from having awkward conversations in the future.

Max smiles, says, “If you think we have time, Captain.”

-

“I really fuckin’ hate this place,” the Captain mutters as they trudge through the barren rocks. He’s trying not to look up, Max’s noticed, but his gaze keeps being drawn there like a magnet. It makes him shudder. Makes him swallow thickly.

Felix laughs. “Now, boss, you’re never gonna make it out here if you can’t stomach that void up there.”

“I stomach a lot for the y’all,” The Captain says back. “I think I can be spared this one thing.”

Last time they were here, Max thinks, he emptied his shotgun into the face of Felix’s once-mentor. Last time he was here, the Captain dragged him into his quarters afterwards and panted obscene nonsense about preachers with shotguns into his ear. Max can almost feel the way the Captain’s fingertips dug into his shoulders, his hot breath, can hear the soft noises he made.

He closes his eyes. It’s all part of the Plan. Part of getting here.

And they’re here.

 _He’s_ here.

Balanced upon the precipice, teetering on the edge of something great. Of something greater than himself, than the Captain, than all of them.

He is here to fulfil his purpose.

They come upon a shitty little prefab and the Captain knocks. Grimaces at the woman who opens the door, who bids them welcome into her home. “Uh, you sure about this, Vic? She looks like your standard shut-in. No offence, M’am.”

And Architect, Max could slap him in that moment. Could break his stupid, stupid face because this woman, this _prophet_ is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “Captain! She’s a lady of transcendent wisdom, can you not see that?”

The woman frowns at him. Max can hardly hear her over the roaring in his ears. Chaney. She’s asking about Chaney. No, his father.

“Well, we don’t know what happened to him,” Max starts, and under her gaze he finds it difficult to stop talking. “We, uh, we did kill his son. _I_ killed his son. But we had a good reason.”

Her gaze is unrelenting. She knows the truth already. She must.

“Or maybe not. In hindsight, I may have acted rashly.” He hangs his head. She’s not going to help them.

“Oh, come on,” The Captain is saying and Max wants to tell him to shut the fuck up. Of course, they’re not worthy. _He’s_ not worthy. “You ain’t gonna hold that against him, are you?”

The Hermit snorts. “Do you believe flippancy will aid you in your endeavour to convince me? No, I don’t believe your Vicar is suitable for my tutelage. Nor are you.”

The Captain argues with her, eventually wears her down.

“Look, Max has spent his whole life tryna control his violent urges. You’re his last chance.”

And she’s looking at him with something almost pitying. “It’s not without risk,” she says. “There can be side-effects. Insanity, for one.”

“A risk I’m willing to take,” Max says. “I’m committed to this, no matter the cost.”

“No matter the cost?” Felix echoes. He shares a look with the Captain. They’re both trying not to laugh. Idiots. If they only knew. “It’s just drugs, Max. We ain’t making you walk in front of a firing squad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so when i started this, i was all in on this whole wedding ring thing, now im not so sure but ive already laid the groundwork so i guess this is the plot you're getting :')


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i found this chapter - and max's whole revaluation thing - tricky to write and handle. it's not going to be the same as it is in the game (and at this point it's been quite a while since i played) so hopefully this doesn't start veering into ooc territory

When Max is next aware - fully aware, aware of his body, aware of the hard floor beneath his back, the threadbare rug beneath his outstretched hands - he has a moment of clarity. The first moment of true clarity he’s certain he’s ever had in his long, long life.

Oh, he’d thought he’d had them before, of course. He’d thought he’d had them when he was young; when he knelt and listened to the OSI Preacher and knew there was something bigger out there. When he’d looked at his parent’s calloused hands, their dirty faces and tiny, tiny lives that they were so _content_ with, and knew he wanted something more – _needed_ something more to feel like that. When he’d first put on his OSI robes and was sure he had finally found it. When he’d found out he needed more, when he’d sat in a prison cell with blood on his knuckles. When he’d learnt about the Book, realised it must be the key. The final piece of his puzzle.

The key to understanding the Plan. To helping everyone else understand.

But now he sees how fogged all of those truly were. How blind he was to what really mattered. To the path to true happiness. To that contentment his parents felt. Maybe not in their hands clasped together in prayer but clasped in one another’s, as part of a community.

He can hear the Captain and Felix talking - their words wash over him without real meaning but he feels the intention behind them. The emotion. The joy, the contentedness. The warmth.

By the Law, how could he be so blind?

But the Captain is looking at him, smiling at him, speaking to him. It takes a few moments for him to understand the words being said to him, to hear them properly over the roar in his ears. “Well, hey, Vic. Looks like you’re finally back with us.”

“Yeah, did you have a nice trip, Max?” Felix asks. “Was it worth the risk?”

And Max thinks about everything in his life that has led him up to this point: sprawled awkwardly on the floor of perhaps the most brilliant, enlightened woman in the system if not the entire universe with these two particular people. Felix, the very worst kind of space trash, a man who frustrates Max to no end but has inspired a kind of odd loyalty from somewhere within him and the Captain. A man whose very existence seems impossible. A man who fell out of the sky and changed not only everything in Max’s life, but everything in the whole of Halcyon. A man who - who -

Well.

“Uh, boss?” Felix says, frowning. “I think he’s cracked.”

Max stands up. “Actually, I’m perfectly fine, Mr Milstone. No, better than fine, in fact. Everything is…perfect.”

The Captain and Felix exchange a look. “He’s right, Vic. I think you’ve cracked.”

Max smiles faintly. “No. Well, perhaps in a way I have. But it is still perfect. It’s all there to be experienced, to be lived. Of course, there is pain, and loss, but the suffering is caused by trying to control reality. Clinging to the way you want things to be, not enjoying the way they are.”

The Captain nods slowly. “Uh huh. Well, maybe we should be getting back to the ship.”

Felix is stifling his laughter.

It’s alright, Max thinks. Maybe they’ve always known what he’s just learnt. Maybe they’re both too young to truly understand.

“Good plan, boss.” Felix says. “I could _really_ go for some Purpleberry Munch right now. Or pretty much everything we’ve got in the cupboards.”

-

Felix and the Captain chat on the way back to the Unreliable. Rather, Felix chatters, the Captain hums and makes little comments here and there but he’s standing looser, his shoulders not as tight. Like he’s less uncomfortable with the wide expanse of nothingness above them.

When they get back to the ship, Felix claps him on the back and heads up to the galley. The Captain lingers, leans against the wall while he waits for Max to catch up. “So, you’ve been quiet.”

Max steps up close to him. He likes the way the Captain has to tilt his head back against the wall to meet Max’s eyes. Likes the soft smile playing across his lips. He’s thinking about those early days, when the Captain was crawling out of his skin, swallowing pill after pill after pill to keep himself awake, to keep himself focussed. When he was skin and bone and shaking, feral fear because Max gets that now. Gets the brittle anger, the words snarled through his teeth were mostly just a front. Gets the pills and the inhaler. Gets how he clung to them.

Afterall, the Captain’s just a farm boy from some faraway planet, in a faraway system that absolutely didn’t sign up for any of this shit.

And he’s thinking about how the Captain is now. How much better he looks taking the sleeping pills Ellie gives him, how much more at ease he is with all of them. How many times Max has almost fucked this up.

“I’ve been contemplating.”

The Captain smirks. He still smells softly perfumed, like the whatever vapours the Hermit had them inhale. “Contemplating? Well, now. Exactly what have you been contemplation, Vic?”

“A lot of things,” Max answers. _How much time I’ve wasted. How much of a moron I’ve been. Where to go from here. What to do. The ship. The crew. You._ And once upon a time he knows those things would have been terrifying, would have loomed so large and so vast that they would have overwhelmed him, sent him back to old habits but now – now they’re boundless and beautiful in their possibilities.

The Captain hums, looks him up and down. “You seem… different.” He says it hesitantly, brows pinched together in a frown.

 _I am. Everything is. Can’t you see?_ “Different how?”

The Captian shrugs, drops his gaze. “I dunno. Happy, maybe? Or at least less angry. The way you look at me usually, I can’t figure out whether you’re fixin’ to tear me to pieces or fuck me. Maybe most times, it’s both. Now though….” He trails off. There’s a hint of colour in his cheeks. Max brushes a thumb across it, watches as the colour blooms darker. It makes the Captain wriggle a little, has him slightly unsettled.

“I dunno, Vic,” he says, quietly and he looks back up at Max, more curious than offput. And Law, Max keeps forgetting how gold his eyes can look, how they shine in the right light. “This just don’t seem quite you.”

This isn’t something he ever thought he’d have.

Rather, this isn’t something he ever thought he’d _allow_ himself to have.

He drops a hand to the Captain’s hip, strokes his thumb along it.

“I am happy. Or, content, at least. I found what I was looking for even though I was looking for the wrong thing.”

The Captain snorts at that, turns his face away. “That’s fuckin’ corny, Vic.”

Max smiles. “Not you, Captain. Well, not _just_ you.”

“I am _wounded,_ ” he laughs and Max smiles at him, leans in close. Before, their kisses had been violent, more teeth than tongue. He’d leave the Captain’s bruised but this time, he kisses him slow. Deep. The Captain’s mouth goes slack before he responds and his hands come up hesitantly to rest against Max’s waist. They’re shaking a little, unsteady and uncertain in their grip and Max thinks about that ring in the Captain’s drawer, about the Captain’s unwillingness to let Max fuck him in a bed and kisses him deeper. Kisses him slower.

When they break apart, the Captain sways like he’s dazed. He blinks up at Max and for a minute there’s something in his eyes that makes Max sure he’s about to say something important but then he must think better of it because he blinks again and it’s gone. “Don’t be goin’ all soft on me now, Vic.”

His tone is edging on pleading so Max shifts his weight, reaches down to grasp the Captain by the wrists and raises them up to pin them above the Captain’s head. Max presses against him, holds him up against the wall and this is definitely what the Captain wants because he lets out this soft little gasp, his mouth falls open and his eyes flutter.

“Don’t worry,” Max says, nice and low in the Captain’s ear. “There’s no danger of that, Captain.”

He presses his thigh between the Captain’s legs and he lets out a shaky, breathy little moan. “ _Fuck_ Max.”

And Max is thinking about how it’d be to keep this going, right here, but the Captain’s Woolly bays from the deck and SAM rounds the corner.

“Shit,” the Captain says. His cheeks are still flushed and as Max lets him go, he grabs Max’s wrist. “C’mon.”

He drags Max up to his quarters, barks at ADA to lock the door behind them. Once it’s done he turns back to Max, smiles wickedly. “Well, come on then, Vic,” he says.

Max picks the Captain up by his thighs, enjoys the soft sound of surprise he makes. He can feel how hard the Captain is, cock pressed flush against him as the Captain wraps his legs around his waist. He kisses the Captain until his arms start to strain, “Where - ?”

The Captain’s arms are clasped tight around Max’s shoulders, nails dug into the back of his neck. He rocks his hips against Max’s stomach. “Fuck,” he whines. “I don’t give a shit, just fuckin’ – ”

Max hefts him onto the bed. His legs hang off the side and Max takes advantage of the angle to yank off his pants and underwear all in one. He mouths at the Captain’s cock, swallows him down as the Captain moans, digs his fingers into Max’s scalp, mumbles how good Max is, how good that feels. He stops when he feels the Captain’s stomach start to tighten, when he starts to buck his hips too far forwards.

The Captain moans at the loss of contact. “Fuckin’ tease,” he snarls and Max laughs, leaning up kiss him.

“Patience is a virtue, Captain.”

“Fuck your virtue,” the Captain growls but he quiets down when Max slides his fingers into his mouth.

“As I said,” Max says, using his thighs to spread the Captain’s legs wider and rock against him. The Captain whines. “Patience.”

He works his fingers in slowly. Savours the little sounds the Captain makes, pays attention to the angles that make his head fall back against the mattress, that make him whimper, that make him say, “Fuck Max _, please._ ” And he’s so _tight_ , Max should have got the lube but he can’t fathom moving away now, or maybe ever and there’d be the box – the ring –

“Max, Max, please,” The Captain pants. “I’m ready, I’m ready, just fuckin’ _please,_ please Max. Fuck me. _Fuck me._ ”

He closes his eyes as he slots in, bites his lip as the Captain gasps, arches.

-

After, he runs his fingers down the line of the Captain’s spine and asks what he’s thinking. It’s cramped in the Captain’s bunk but he’s warm against Max. Gentle, contented. He raises himself up onto his forearms when Max asks, still chewing on his bottom lip as he shakes his head. “Nothin’ important, Vic.”

Max reaches a hand out, tilts his head back up by the chin, brushes his thumb along the Captain’s bottom lip. “Tell me.”

The Captain frowns again, answers hesitantly. “I dunno. I just figured now you’d reached enlightenment or whatever you’d wanna be on your way, is all.”

Something sinks in Max’s chest. Maybe that’s what the Captain wanted. A neat little ending to this tryst. A definitive get out clause before things get messy. Yesterday, a few hours ago even, this conversation would have had him spiralling. Jealous, angry. But now -

Max traces a hand across The Captain’s jaw, round to the nape of his neck and the Captain leans into it, slides his eyes closed. “Is that what you want?”

He doesn’t answer right away. Max winds his fingers through his hair, prompts gently, “Avi?”

The Captain’s eyes open. “I don’t think you’ve ever said my name before. Leastwise not like that. All soft an’ shit.”

“Do you object?”

After a moment, he shakes his head.

Max exhales. “That may have been the plan once,” he admits. “I thought I’d use your ship to get my translation and leave. You were an unexpected variable.”

The Captain sighs, his head dropping to Max’s chest. “Yeah,” he mutters. “Yeah, you were pretty unexpected too.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry it's been so long, ive actually been trying to focus on original stuff (not that that's really going anywhere) 
> 
> i hope everyone is well and keeping safe

Max has never been in love.

Truth be told, he never really believed it existed. It served a purpose. Marketing, procreation. Something for people to cling to. But beyond that –

He’s not sure he believes in it now but Miss Holcombe seems content with Chief Tennyson and there is certainly something to watching the Captain as he works. Max watches him over the top of his book. He’s bent over his terminal, chewing at his bottom lip, trying to find a safe way to get the chemicals to Dr Welles without the Board tracking them.

After a few moments, he heaves a sigh, stands up. “It’s no good, Vic. The only way I can see us gettin’ free is if I call back your Ad-whatever.”

“Adjutant.”

“Yeah, whatever. Sophia.”

Max frowns at him. “You’re thinking of taking her deal?”

He snorts. “Sorta. The way I figure it, the only way to get her off our backs is to give her what she wants. So I say ‘sure,’ but I tell Welles before we plant her tracker-thingy. Give her the wrong coordinates or maybe bring the doc with us, or somethin’.”

“Clever,” Max says. “You don’t think Adjunt Sophia will have thought about that as a possibility?”

The Captain makes a face. It makes something in Max’s chest twist.

“Godammit,” he mutters. “But it’s the best plan I got, Vic. Short of storming Halcyon and takin’ her out which I’m guessin’ you wouldn’t be wild about as a plan?”

“I would definitely advise against that course of action, Captain.”

He rubs at the back of his neck. “Right.”

So, Max has never been in love but –

The Captain crosses to him, sits down beside him. “I just don’t wanna get Phineas landed someplace awful. I want this to work. This _has_ to work.”

The Hope Colonists have to be saved. Earth’s best and brightest. His sister. His –

Max isn’t very good at this. He knows that. Someone once told him he didn’t really have the temperament to be a Priest and Max broke his jaw because even then he knew it was true. Even then he knew he was just playing dress-up, playing pretend.

“If anyone can make it work it’s you,” he says and even though he means, has probably not meant anything he’s ever said more, the Captain snorts.

“Gettin’ high really softened you up, Vic, you know that?”

-

On their way to Welles’ lab, Max finds himself alone with Ellie again, sitting in the galley. She’s frowning at him as she smokes, tapping the ash deliberately onto the table instead of in the ashtray. Eventually, Max sets down his book.

“Is there something I can help you with, Dr Fenhill?”

Ellie has clammed up. She shakes her head, barely a flicker of anything across her gaze. “Nope. Just observing.”

“Observing,” Max repeats.

Ellie nods. “ _Observing._ ”

In another life, Max would be snapping at her. Demanding she tell him what she’s really thinking to his face. Now, he has the benefit of patience. He can wait this out. Wait her out and it pays off. Ellie huffs, flicks her smoke somewhere and leans forwards.

“I know you read his file.”

Max glances up at her. “Yes, I gathered. You are, after all, _observant_.”

That makes her smirk, albeit briefly. “I gotta admit, I was expecting something much more dramatic.”

“Disappointed?”

She shrugs. “Not like there’s a whole lot else going on right now. Aside from saving the whole fucking system, that is.” But she doesn’t look satisfied. Her shoulders are still somewhat tense. Max doesn’t understand why it still matters to her. Why she seems so desperate to cause drama. There must be something more to it so he sets down his book and asks.

At first Ellie frowns at him. “Like I said, Vicky, not all that much else happening. I suppose I could start getting into aetherwave dramas like Felix and Parvati but I still have my self-respect, so.”

“So, you try to manufacture drama between your crewmates?”

“Beats whatever you’ve got going on,” Ellie says as she leaves.

-

Welles is sending them to the Hope. They’re to skip it to Terra 2.

For the first few hours back on the Unreliable, the Captain won’t be still. He paces, he twitches, he frets. It reminds Max uncomfortably of those first few weeks, when the Captain was all but crawling out of his skin. Makes him think of Monarch when something – _whatever_ it was – snapped inside of him and sent him running off into the desert.

It makes him think of all those things he never gave himself a chance to before.

“Talk to him,” Parvati pleads. “I’ve tried but he keeps brushing me off. This whole business with the Hope has got him real unsettled and, well, we need him at his best right?”

He finds the Captain pacing in the cockpit, watching as the little dot on the holo-map gets closer and closer to the Hope’s position.

“Oh, good. Perhaps you can remind the Captain that floors don’t last forever, especially when people pace like that,” ADA says.

Max catches the Captain by the wrists. “Captain.”

The Captain screws up his face. “Not you too, Vic. I’m allowed to be – Parvati put you up to this, didn’t she? I told her I was fine. I’m just – I gotta – this is – ”

“Avi,” Max says and the Captain stills.

“If I screw this up, I’m killin’ everyone,” The Captain says, his voice hardly above a whisper.

Max pulls him closer. “Then don’t screw up.”

The Captain laughs. A short, breathy exhales. “Easy for you to say, Vic. Hardest thing we’ve had to do together was, - what was it? Easy as mock-apple pie.”

Max can’t help but think of what this means now. What it’ll mean for the system. For everyone he’s ever known, everyone on this ship. Him, the Captain. It feels like an ending. Like things are coming to a close.

“With me along it will be,” he promises.

For a moment the Captain is still against him but then he tenses slightly, pushes back so he can look Max in the eye. “Vic, there’s somethin’ I should probably tell you before we get to the Hope.”

And that’s it. _This_ is it. Max supposes it doesn’t have to be, he doesn’t know what the Captain is about to say, how he’ll say it but he does know that if this is the end, if this is really it, he’s not entirely ready, so he steps back.

“I’m sure whatever it is, it can wait, Captain. There’s a few minor fixes I need to make to my rifle before we go.”

He leaves the room before the Captain can say anything further and there’s a voice that sounds a lot like Ellie’s in the back of his mind. It laughs at him. Tells him he’s blown it. Tells him he’s a coward. Tells him he’s learned nothing. He’s running away, hiding from everything as always.

-

As they pick their way through the Hope the Captain stops to check every terminal he can. Parvati reads over his shoulder, alternates between asking him questions and suggesting they should probably hurry. They come across the pod storage room, the Captain tries to hurry them through but Parvati pauses by the observation window, looks up at the rows and rows of sleeping colonists with wide-eyes.

“I – Gosh, Captain. There’s – There’s so many.”

Max is sort of stuck too. He’s never really thought about it before. All these lives set to drift up here. Left alone and abandoned. If Welles hadn’t found them, if he hadn’t been so obsessed they would have all been jettisoned into space. They would have climbed into a pod one day, ready to leave behind everything they knew to further the human race and –

They would simply never wake up.

The Captain is by the door, his eyes downcast and jittery. “Yep. Lotta people to save, Parvati, so could we just get goin’?”

“Sorry, Captain,” Parvati says quickly. “It must be weird to see where – where you came from. Where you were - ” She cuts herself off, looking at the Captain like he’s some sort of wounded animal.

The Captain rolls his eyes, “Let’s just get this over with.”

In the next room, they manage to patch ADA through to the Hope’s comms system. The Captain looks pale in blue-white glow of the room. “The Bridge should be a short way from here Captain,” ADA tells them cheerily.

Max sets a hand on the Captain’s shoulder.

“It’ll be alright, Captain,” Parvati says. “We’ll skip it, you’ll see.”

-

He thinks about telling the Captain to leave the door locked. They can smell something foul emanating from behind it from the other end of the corridor. Something dank, rotten. Nothing good. Parvati wrinkles her nose. “Gosh, smells like somethin’ died back there,” she mutters.

But the Captain unlocks it and there’s a pile of empty, blood-stained pods and –

They all read the terminal entries. They all knew what they were saying even if none of them mentioned it, none of them talked about it. Max had thought that it maybe wasn’t all that unreasonable even if the idea made him want to gag. Afterall, if there was no one to pilot the ship, all the colonists would be lost. But now –

“Oh gosh,” Parvati says. “Oh, I’m gonna be sick.”

“We should go,” Max starts to say, putting a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. “Avi, come on.”

But the Captain shakes his head.

“Captain, I really must insist – ”

“No,” the Captain says, his voice a hoarse whisper as he stumbles towards the pods. “No, I have to know – I have to check who – _who –_ ”

It’s statistically unlikely and Max thinks about telling him that but he’s fairly sure he’ll only get a broken jaw for his trouble. And anyway, Law knows everything about the Captain, about his life so far has been statistically unlikely. Being chosen by Welles. Surviving Halcyon. Meeting the crew. The Unreliable. Everything they’ve done, everything they’re about to do.

Whatever he’s done to Max. See, Max has never been in love but when the Captain lets out this soft, little noise of pure despair and falls to his knees, it feels like Max is the one being wrenched in two.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we're actually almost at the end guys
> 
> hope you're all keeping safe

Max remembers once when he was in prison, there was this visiting Priest, almost certainly sent by the OSI to check on him or reign him in or maybe find a more permanent way to silence him. She hadn’t been at all what he was expecting. An older lady, steely grey hair and a stern, down-turned mouth but kind eyes. She’d taken once look at him, this angry young man with bruised knuckles and a bloody lip and told him, _next time you feel like that, next time you feel that anger boiling over, just take a few seconds to think. Close your eyes. Count to ten. Let yourself feel it then clear your mind._

Thinking back on it, she probably wasn’t giving him the wise, life changing advice the OSI claims to peddle. It was probably more of a warning. A polite way of telling him to think before he acts, to smarten up but in the moment, Max took it and he’s held onto it tight all this time. And not just for anger. For everything, anything overwhelming.

Parvati has frozen up. She seems torn between going to the Captain and going to Max, shifting from foot to foot, trying to figure out what the best way through this is.

The Captain is still on his knees.

On the other side of that door the Board’s soldiers are ready and waiting to shoot them to pieces. To throw them back into Tartarus. To strand them here amongst these frozen colonists.

So, Max closes his eyes tight.

He’s not going to die here. And he’s certainly not going to let the Captain crumble now. Not after how far they’ve come.

He counts to ten.

He can hear Parvati fretting. Not so much with words, but in these little nervous noises that remind Max of some sort of small animal mewling for its mother. The Captain, on the other hand, is silent. Deathly silent.

When he opens his eyes, he strides across to wear the Captain is knelt by an empty, bloody pod. He doesn’t look at the name. He’s not going to ask. Not now. There’ll be time for that later but right now, they need to focus. He kneels down. The Captain’s eyes are very far away so Max grasps him by the wrist – gently at first but then firm.

“Captain,” he says, but the Captain doesn’t look at him so he tries, “ _Avi.”_

The Captain blinks slowly, like he’s coming awake from a long sleep.

“Avi, we have to go.”

There’s a moment where he’s sure the Captain’s going to resist, he blinks a few times more. Looks at the pod, parts his lips like he’s going to say something. Max squeezes his wrist. _Please,_ Max thinks. _Please just do this._

And after a long moment, the Captain nods.

Well, he doesn’t so much nod as he inclines his head, looks back to Max. In the dim light, his eyes look dark but Max can still imagine the gold there.

“Good. Let’s go,” he pulls the Captain up, catches him when he stumbles. Parvati is suddenly on the Captain’s other side, lower lip caught between her teeth, looking at Max apologetically. “The Bridge is that way,” Max says and hopes he’s right.

-

“Holy shit,” Ellie says, as soon as they get back to the Unreliable. “You did it. You actually _did_ it.”

They’re all breathless from sprinting back to the ship, the Captain’s hands are shaking too badly to aim and Max didn’t feel much like taking out an entire ship full of soldiers with just him and Parvati. He’s still mostly holding the Captain up, maybe Parvati too – he’s not really sure but she’s stuck close to the Captain’s other side. Hasn’t really let him go.

“Why d’you all look so bummed out though?” Ellie asks.

“Long day,” Max answers for them and he knows Ellie doesn’t believe him but she seems content enough to accept it. “Captain,” he starts to say but the Captain shrugs him off.

“We gotta get back to Phineas.” He wanders to the Bridge, shuts the door behind him.

Parvati has drawn her arm back, holds it against her chest. She looks at Max. “We should – ”

Max nods. “I know.”

“I’ll let you – ” Parvati says, rubbing her arm. “That is – Well, I – ” She keeps looking towards the door, then back towards Max. “I’ll be in the, uh, well – the Captain knows where to find me.”

Max half wants her to stay. He might have rethought things since Scylla but this is still a lot. He’s never done this. Never lost anyone like this – his parents, sure, but he hadn’t seen them in years, hadn’t spoken to them for so long. Never really comforted anyone. Most folk in Edgewater were used to death and the soft ones like Parvati knew not to try talking to him about it.

Law. What a shitty fucking priest he’s been.

What a shitty fucking everything.

ADA opens the door for him.

The Captain is bent over the navigation panel, head bowed. His knuckles are white from gripping so tight.

“Captain – ” Max starts again but the Captain shoots him down.

“Not right now, Vic. The Board found Phineas. Our signal didn’t work. We gotta go save the day again.”

“We’ll be at the Doctor Welles’ Lab soon, Captain,” ADA tells them cheerily.

The Captain pushes himself up, runs a hand across his face. “I gotta get more bullets.”

Max catches him as he’s going past because this is _important._ Important to the Captain. Important to _him._ “Avi, I really think we should – ”

He recoils from Max’s touch, puts one hand on Max’s chest to hold him back. “Look, I can’t right now, alright, Max?” His voice sounds different. Higher, broken, cracking. His eyes are glassy, his lip trembles. “I can’t right now, we gotta – I gotta – ”

And Max understands. The Captain has to close his eyes, put this away to get through what they have to do next. He takes the Captain’s hand briefly and nods. The Captain nods back and moves past him.

In the emptiness of the room, Max sags a little.

-

They’re too late to save Doctor Welles.

The Captain breaks a terminal and smashes the few beakers and tanks the Board haven’t already destroyed. His hands are cut to ribbons. Ellie clucks her tongue and points out that if he nicks an artery and bleeds out there’ll be no one to storm the prison and save the system. The Captain bares his teeth and switches to kicking things over instead.

“I’m gonna wait this out on the ship,” Nyoka decides. “Maybe send SAM out to clean up some.”

“Boss, we’ve got the navkey,” Felix is trying, but he’s obviously torn between joining their Captain in mindless destruction and trying to be responsible, or something. “We can go, we can do this. The Board’ll be sorry they ever messed with us!”

It’s Parvati that gets him calm though. Hisses that he’s scaring the cystypig and by Law, Max has never seen the Captain look so stricken. He gets down on one knee to start coaxing the pig out from the desk it’s jammed itself under, murmuring soothing nonsense.

Ellie passes a hand across her face. “Great. Now we’ll be sharing a ship with _that_. I thought the fucking woolly was bad.”

And Max would probably share in her annoyance if he weren’t so completely sure they wouldn’t be sharing the ship with _anything_ for long. Tartarus isn’t somewhere you come back easily from. Certainly not if you arrive with loaded weapons and try to break someone out.

There’s a very real chance this is it.

This is where it’s all going to end.

And it starts with Max standing in the secret base of a lunatic scientist watching a farmer from Earth – from Earth years and _years_ ago – coax a cystypig named Bubbles out from under a desk. A farmer who might have just lost everything but who might also save everything, everyone. And of course, to top it off Max is standing in a room full of the kind of people he used to go out of his way to avoid.

He always knew he’d fight in the end. He’d fight tooth and claw not to slip away into the Void or whatever it is the Architect really has planned for them. But he never really thought he’d have something worth fighting for at the end. He never really thought there’d be anything more than spite driving him onwards.

But there is.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i'm sorry this took so long everything got pretty crazy for me for a little while but things are fine now. hope you all are keeping safe.
> 
> i'm also sorry that this probably isn't the ending you guys deserve but i've been working on it for like, a month and it's just not getting any better but I wanted there to be a definitive happy ending for this fic, so enjoy!

Before they storm Tartarus, Ellie calls them all into the galley, says it’s their last chance to talk sense into the Captain. Even Felix tells her it’s pointless. “The Boss is gonna swoop in and rescue the doc with or without us, El and I’d rather he do it with us because I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be _awesome._ ”

“Believe it or not, Felix,” Ellie says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I get that. What I also get is the Captain has _no idea_ the shitstorm waiting for us on Tartarus and if he’s serious about storming that place; it wouldn’t hurt to call for a little backup.”

“Um,” Parvati says quietly. “I’ve um, already called Junlei er, Captain Tennyson. It seemed important-like, you know? Just to say our goodbyes if, uh, nothing else.”

“Well thank fuck there’s someone else on this ship with more than half a braincell,” Ellie says. “But I still think it’s worth mentioning to the Captain that there’s about a 99.9% chance this our last hurrah. If only, as Parvati so eloquently put it, to _say our goodbyes_.”

And there’s a moment of silence where everything feels very weighted, steeped in the looming sense of their mortality until Nyoka snorts and says, “Well, fuck, Doc. Didn’t know you were such a pessimist.”

But Ellie has a point so Max says, “I’ll fetch the Captain.”

Oddly, the Captain isn’t in his quarters or standing over ADA’s map, watching as they grow closer and closer to Tartarus. He’s in the pen they built for the Woolly, playing with Bubbles the cystypig’s ears as he feeds the pig Felix’s cereal. He’s speaking in that same low, soothing tone. Max gets lost a few moments thinking of how the Captain must have been on Earth. Surrounded by his farm animals. Never once thinking about what other worlds lay out there. Happy with his husband or wife.

“You need something, Vic?” he asks, after a few moments.

Max blinks. “The crew wanted to talk to you before – ”

The Captain sighs. “Look, I’m not asking any o’ you to come with me – ”

Max holds up a hand. “Aren’t we passed that now, Captain?”

The Captain smiles faintly.

“Come on,” Max holds out a hand to help him up. “I think it might be best to have something resembling a plan before we do this, yes?”

“Ah, you know me, Vic. Not much of a planner,” the Captain says but he takes Max’s hand anyway and lets Max heft him up.

As they walk, Max says, “You know, I didn’t imagine I’d ever be going back to Tartarus willingly.”

The Captain’s expression is complicated. “Thank you, Max.”

Max surprises them both by laughing. “Honestly, Captain, after everything you’ve done for us it’s less of an imposition than you might imagine.”

-

Unsurprisingly, their plan ends up being rather sparse. The truth of it is, none of them are entirely sure what awaits them at Tartarus. Whether Askande has the entire Board ready and waiting for them (likely) or whether she’s rigged the place to explode as soon as they arrive or something in that vain.

“I want all of y’all with me,” The Captain says as they approach. “’cept you, Parvati. I want you here in case we need to make quick escape or somethin’.”

“But, Captain, I – ” Parvati starts.

“No buts, Parvati. I want you here. We might need you here.” He says firmly.

Parvati huffs, almost stroppily and turns away to scrub at her face.

A corporate trooper comms them and the Captain talks his way in with an ID and from that point on, there’s a lot of gunfire, a lot of blood. A lot of shouting. Troops from the Groundbreaker, MSI, the Iconoclasts. In any other situation Max would probably have stopped, taken a moment to appreciate all of these wildly different groups of people brought together by a farmer of all things but, as it stands, there’s hardly time to breathe until they reach Chairman Rockwell.

“I’d counsel restraint here,” Max hears himself say, one hand on the Captain’s shoulder.

“Really, Vic?” Ellie says back.

And yes, really? It must the Hermit talking. Letting him see beyond the rage building up in his chest. Rockwell still has his supporters. It’ll be a lot easier getting everyone on side after this if they have a familiar face to fall back on.

Or, it’ll be rather satisfying to watch him waste away in very, _very_ small cell.

The Captain twists to look back at him. There’s blood spattered across his face, in his hair and his teeth are bared in a snarl. “Honestly, I don’t give a good godamn what we do with this fuck, Vic.”

Rockwell laughs. “This is what you get when you put a _farmer_ in charge.”

The Captain hits him with his rifle. Rockwell’s jaw makes a dull, wet cracking sound that sounds to Max like it’s broken. “Your call,” The Captain says, looking between Max and the crew.

“I say we shoot him,” Felix says immediately.

Ellie shrugs. “I dunno, he could be useful. I mean, I would also be fine with it if you shot him but if you’re really serious about rebuilding this shithole after all this then he might be worth keeping around.”

The Captain snorts. “El, I just wanna be done with all this. What happens next is up to Welles.”

Rockwell laughs again. “If you think Akande will let you anywhere near – ” He flinches as the Captain swipes his rifle at him.

“Well, Vic?” The Captain asks. He’s shifting a little, getting impatient.

 _This shouldn’t be my decision. It’s too big for one man to make alone,_ Max thinks, but he’s fairly certain there’s no point making that argument. The Captain’s asking _him._ Waiting for _him_ to make a decision. He looks down at Rockwell, glaring at them, spitting blood, sneering.

“I’m sure we can come to an arrangement with the Chairman,” Max says, adding pre-emptively at Rockwell’s sound of indignation: “If he values his continued existence, of course. Besides, with his resources and some of the geniuses on the Hope, we could actually do some good here.”

-

It’s a rough fight through to Welles. All of them end up bloody, the Captain a little more so because of a new alarming urge to throw himself into the fray despite Max’s repeated attempts to keep him back.

He doesn’t give Akande a second chance to negotiate after the automechs, shoots her point blank as soon as they get up to Welles’ cell. It’s rather impressive considering the state he’s in.

Welles is grateful, even mentions to the Captain, to Avi, that he could lead the colony going forwards. The Captain snorts, “’s why we kept Rockwell alive, right, Vic?”

And Ellie coughs, interrupts with, “Great. Very touching. Now, I need to get him back to ship before he bleeds to death.”

-

Max doesn’t start shaking until the Unreliable has left Tartarus.

It’s like it all hits him at once. The adrenaline wears off, his ears stop ringing and he thinks: we’ve won.

And they have. They have Doctor Welles, they have Rockwell – well, Tennyson has Rockwell but it’s all the same really. The system – the majority of it, the parts that matter – are united behind them. Even Lilah and Sublight are on side. Soon they’ll have the Board.

Halcyon might just make it.

Parvati has them heading towards the Groundbreaker. She’s given up her cabin to Welles for the time being and is bunking in the engine room. Felix is sleeping off several concussions in his room, Ellie and Nyoka are drinking loudly in the galley despite Nyoka’s blood-loss.

“ADA, tell me when the Captain wakes up,” he says and ADA huffs.

_No one says please anymore._

Max should probably rest but he finds he can’t sit still for more than a few moments. The Captain is fine, he knows that but – There’s still a lot left to be discussed. Everything feels slightly unfinished. So Max alternates between pacing and wandering through the galley to make sure their doctor and their hunter haven’t died of alcohol poisoning until ADA tells him the Captain is awake.

He’s still in bed, looks up when Max comes in. “Aw, don’t tell me you stayed up frettin’ over me, Vic,” he drawls. There’s a softness to his words, a slight slurring from whatever Ellie used to patch him up. “I’m fine. Just takin’ a well-deserved nap.”

Max smiles. “You do deserve it.” He thinks about joining him in the bed but there’s still the Hope hanging heavy in the back of his mind so he pulls the Captain’s desk chair over instead.

“Oh, well now I feel like a real invalid,” The Captain complains, propping himself up.

“Well, I’m certain Doctor Fenhill would have no qualms about killing me if I reopen any of your wounds and it would be a shame to end things like that.”

The Captain hums. “Alright. Guess it’d be kinda underwhelming.” Something complicated twists around his mouth and he drops his gaze. “Um – Max, there’s something – something I should tell you. Shoulda probably told you before we – ”

Max cuts him off. “I know, Avi.”

Surprise colours his features, then confusion. “You know what?”

There’s a chance he’s talking about something else but Max is tired of hiding this. “I know about who you came here with.”

For a brief moment, annoyance flashes across his face. “How did you – You know what? I don’t even care anymore. It’s not – ” He’s rubbing at the back of his neck. “It’s not important.”

 _It is,_ Max should say. _I shouldn’t have intruded._ But he’s in no mood for circular arguments and what the Captain is trying to tell him now is probably more important. “Avi,” Max prompts, quietly.

“Sorry,” he mutters, his voice slightly damp. He looks back at Max. “I should have told you before. Before we – well – But I didn’t think – _fuck_. And now he’s – ” He covers his face with his hands.

“The Hope?” Max guesses. He’s piecing things together slowly. The Captain makes a soft noise that Max takes as affirmation. Max isn’t entirely certain what he’s expected to do in this situation so he shifts his chair closer sets a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. He doesn’t flinch away. “I’m sorry.”

The Captain makes this odd, strangled noise. Sort of scoffing disbelief. Max swallows back the reactionary annoyance and squeezes his shoulder instead. He’s never lost anyone this important to him. And certainly not like _this_.

“Sorry,” The Captain mumbles. “I don’t even – I don’t even – ” His words are running together. Max leans closer.

“Avi, it’s okay. You’ve been through – ”

“It ain’t though,” he snaps. “It ain’t. I – There’s a part of me that’s glad that it weren’t my sister’s pod. Then there’s this whole other part that wishes it _was_ and she – she doesn’t deserve that. But he didn’t either and I – ”

 _At least it was quick,_ Max could say. _He had no idea what was happening._ But he’s fairly sure that will just result in a punch to the face. Maybe that would be better though. Anger instead of _this._ He just looks lost and Max feels ill-equipped to make it go away and maybe a little lost himself.

Hours ago they were storming a prison, saving the Hope, the system. Now they’re here.

“Tell me about him,” Max says, because it’s what he’d say if he was back on Edgewater. If one of his parishioners was going through the same thing. Of course, if it was one of his parishioners he wouldn’t really be listening, he wouldn’t be sitting forwards, genuinely interested.

The Captain blinks, frowns at him. “You don’t – You don’t really wanna know.”

“I do.” _I want to know about you._

The Captain studies him a moment. “This is weird.”

Which is probably the understatement of the millennia. “I couldn’t agree more. But it’s where we find ourselves now, so.”

After a few moments, the Captain starts to talk. “He was an Agricultural Scientist, like my sister. She brought him back from school to the farm ‘cos they were running some experiments. Tryin’ to fix the Earth, you know? Make crops that did well in shitty environments and stuff. They were good at it. That’s why they came out here.”

“And that’s how you met him?”

He nods, smiling, his gaze far away. “My sister warned me when she brought him back. She told me not to ruin him because he was _nice_ and the smartest guy she knew and she didn’t wanna have to find a new research partner. Lucky for her we both got to keep him.” He scrubs at his face. “Or…They were so _fucking_ excited to come here and I didn’t even – You know they had to doctor my records to get me on board? I was such a fucking mess.”

“I’m glad they did.”

The Captain scoffs. “I’m not.”

Despite everything, it stings. “You’ve done a lot of good here,” Max starts. _Far more than you would have as a **farmer.**_

“I didn’t mean it like that. Just, things woulda been easier if we’d stayed.”

“You could go back,” Max says, quietly. “I mean, skip-drives are hard to come by but – ”

“I don’t want that,” he says. “There’d be no one there now. The farm’s probably gone now. My sister’s here. I got the ship, I got the crew, you.” He trails off, smiles weakly at Max. “Maybe once you and Phineas fix this system up it won’t be half bad.”

Max smiles back. “You could even start your own farm. Roseaway seemed nice. Aside from all the rapts, of course.”

“Thinkin’ about retirement, Vic?”

“Well maybe not quite yet.”


End file.
